Do you know what you want?

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Sometimes people ask me what I want about life situations or where I see myself in five years. Whenever someone asks me a question like like it's like impossible for me to answer them. It's really torture because it's like I can't get my brain to think in those terms. And it's not like "Do you want chocolate ice cream?" It's like the huge things in life like "Do you want to live in this situation or that one." Things that really affect and make a difference in how we will navigate our lives. Am I the only one who has trouble with these kinds of concepts? And if someone asks me where or how I would see my life in five or ten years so that I can make a life plan, I get so anxious trying to come up with an idea of an answer that I sometimes have a meltdown. Does anyone know why these concepts are so hard for me?

Well, I don't know why it's hard, but I struggle with the same thing. I may think I know what's going on with my life, then the next day switch it completely. No one knows what's going on in my life, least of all me. Funny, innit

LOL.....the reason why I'm just a working-class guy is because I never had a "five-year plan." My "plan" was always to live for the moment. I did manage to finish college after 8 years, at age 45, with relatively good grades.

Five years from now, I'll probably be in a similar situation as I am at present. I will be working a government job, going on vacations from time to time, and living in a garden apartment.

When I was 20, I didn't even think about what I'm going doing at age 25. Same with 25 to 30. Same with 30 to 35, etc. All I wanted to do is keep an apartment and a job. I had no other ambition until age 35, when I decided I wanted to go back to school.

I want to quit my job without ending up homeless - while I still have time to enjoy my freedom.

I also feel the same way I have no plan and idk why I can't like make one its just anything coukd happen and I'm bad saying it plus my negativity can get in the way and cause me to have bad thiughts and meltdowns, that's why I try aviod most questions anout thibgs in thr future even tough I know some of what I want to achieve.

I've never had any sort of plan or specific ambition either - the entire idea is bizarre to me. And - I don't know if this is the same thing, but it's probably related - I particularly have no concept of being able to take specific steps to change my life in a certain direction.

E.g. rationally I might understand that if I want to work in a certain field I could go to university or get training or whatever it requires, but I can't get my head around the thought of actually doing that. I can't make a logical connection between my realistically achievable daydreams and actually taking the steps to get there. Basically, my mind just will not sufficiently connect me to the real world to understand that there are things I can do to change my situation.

Sorry, that's probably not very clear, but I can't explain it any better. It's like some fundamental concept is just missing from my brain.

Just rehearse a good sounding answer for job interviews. That's the only time in your life when that question actually matters. As long as you're happy with the direction and events in your life, f*** everybody else. >_>

I've never really been one to plan things or set goals but in a general sense I do know what I want. But I don't know if things will fall in place the way I hope for. Life could unexpectedly take me in another direction. I think it is hubris to believe we can plan for the future.

I've never really had a plan though in the sense of what most people mean when they talk about having a plan in life. I just take things as they come. It has always worked out okay for me.

Russell Barkley talks a lot about how people with ADHD have time blindness. There's a disconnect between the frontal and occipital cortex. He actually used the term "meat cleaver" to describe how severe the disconnect is. When the front of the brain is disconnected from the back of the brain, it loses a sense of time.

In five years I would like to be:

- still alive
- in good health
- still employed
- still married
- have more time for my interests and hobbies
- have less stress in my life

If I hit all of those in five years I'll be very happy. Anything else is gravy on the meat.

I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I was so damned proud of myself for even getting through my undergrad last year (it only took 9 years!) that in some ways I thought I'd reached the pinnacle of success--especially considering that only a small percentage of Americans have bachelor's degrees in the first place.

My wife has seriously been, for lack of a better word, nagging about what I'm going to do with myself, but it's so hard for me to figure out something so profoundly important like that. I have a hard enough time making basic decisions as is. It puts so much pressure on me and stresses me out, because I know that whatever I decide, chances are I'll have regrets and want to do something different. It's only how my life has worked so far.

I got accepted into RN school, and I know I will dominate the subject didactically, but I am very concerned about getting through clinicals, because I'm not very emotive, and I have a difficult time relating to people. I really feel that I have developed some good empathy, but it's really relative to the situation. I am not empathetic to someone who has drank or taken drugs all their life and now have health issues, etc.

I had some vague plans...which kept changing.

-Go to college, get degree in Chemistry--hit a wall when I got to Organic and realized "this isn't going to happen." Changed major to Psychobiology.

-Got B.S. in Psychobiology, applied to grad schools for Psychopharmacology--rejected by all of them.

-Spent several years working part-time, trying not to be too depressed, not really sure what to do next.

-Developed an interest in reading about crime, decided to apply to grad schools for Criminology. Accepted by all four, chose the one that offered financial support, moved to new town.

-Got through grad school, earned M.S. in Applied Criminology. Applied for FBI internship in 2008, did not get accepted due to governmental cutbacks. Worked on advisor's project for a year, then got hired by same university to teach online. Started with one course, am now at three. At the same time, working part-time at Walmart.

-During this time, met first and only bf (we're not really together now...that's a discussion for a different thread) but still close, love my new town and feel more at home here than I ever did in the place I grew up.

So...I don't really "plan" much beyond the next year, at the most, because things can change unexpectedly no matter what...and sometimes those changes turn out really well.

The same as what I wanted 5 years ago.