Does he fancy me or not?

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Hi,
I am VERY confused about a guy I like. I don't know how he feels as he isn't consistent.

If anyone can offer their advice I'd appreciate it

Here are the details:

I have a friend & work collegue that I like a lot. He is male, as am I.
A few weeks ago I sent him a text on my mobile-phone to say that I would like to be more than friends with him. He replied that he isn't gay, and just wants us to remain friends.
I was (and still am) OK with that, and will abide by what he replied in his text.

However, whenever we are alone together he initiates physical contact. We end up either hugging, tickling eachother, or playfighting.

At a mutual friends house last week she went to use the bathroom and immediately she left the room he asked me to tickle him. I did, and before I knew it we were tickling and touching eachother all over. His hand even went down to my groin and he squeezed by bits, but I remembered what he had texted me back & considered that it was just play. He then stood up, turned around and asked me to spank him. I didn't, and so he sat back on the sofa and we cuddled and tickled eachother.
Then it almost happened. We were both out of breath and laid back on the sofa facing eachother. We moved towards eachother, until our faces were very close. I remembered what he had told me in the text, so did not kiss him (even though I wanted to).
It was at that point that our mutual friend came out of her bathroom and he IMMEDIATELY sat upright as if nothing had happened and that he was watching the TV.

The next day we were at work together, and he was washing up. I was stood behind him & put my hands on his shoulders. He tilted his head so it rested on one of my hands and said "That's really nice".

A couple of days later he was about to do some public speaking and I said to him in the room where lots of people were "You will be fine in your public speaking" and I put my arm around him. His body went all rigid as if he didn't like me touching him. I guess that it was because it was in front of other people.

The thing is that he is diagnosed as being a person with aspergers, and I am also. I don't know whether it is his aspergers that makes him like us cuddling, tickling, and playfighting together or if he feels the same way about me that I do to him.
His actions when we are alone together seem to be in conflict with the text he sent me......... or maybe I am misinterpretting.

I'd appreciate your opinion.

Sounds like he just doesn't want to be seen as a homosexual person, even though he probably is. Homosexuality is still a social stigma. People act like they accept it, but behind closed doors most people still don't. The way you two are acting, it's probably going to come out eventually. I suggest to just be as supportive as you can until it finally comes out.

I will try to help, but you know that it's just a opinion about it from a guy living far way.

If I didn't know that he is diagnosed, I would bet that he was playing with you. I still don't think you need to discard this possibility, but you're right about the ambiguity related to the situation.
I think you need to find a way to ask him about his behavior, because you are confused with conflictive information. Worse than that, you are feeding some expectations and this can causes anxiety.
Its hard to judge people and their feelings:
- he can deny his own identity;
- he can have a kind of different opinion than you about what is "gay" or not.
- He can like this kind of affect you maintan but don´t desire you sexually.
(But, in my opinion, he knows that his identity as a 'non-gay' is socially conflictive with his behavior when he is alone with you. Otherwise, he wouldn't change it suddenly in public).
Anyway, you will feel more confortable if you discover it. And, considering that each person is a universe, i think that only your friend has the answer you need.
Good luck in your mission!

Hi Prism and seoquim,
Thank you for both of your interpretations of the situation.

After reading what you both wrote I feel that I need to talk to him and tell him that I find his actions in private to be confusing because they appear to me to be sexually motivated, which is in conflict with his text message.

He has already told me that he thinks I am a very attractive guy, but then that doesn't mean anything as anyone can consider someone as attractive, and it doesn't mean that they are attracted to that person sexually. It just means that they recognise that the other person is good looking.

I don't know if I fancy sexually myself. All I know is that when we cuddle & touch eachother my brain produces a surge of oxytocin, dopamine, and seratonin along with a small bit of adrenaline. I get a "buzz" from it which is addictive and I want to experience as much as possible, as it feels good.

He's on holiday at the moment, but when he returns I'll ask him about how what he texted & his actions aren't compatable in my opinion.

Many thanks to you both for your opinions and advice.

StarCity