We need to encourage excuse making for Aspies

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I'm sick and tired of hearing people, even Aspies, who say that people on the Autism Spectrum should stop being "p*ssies" and "crybabies" and act normal.

I think these people are so mean because life is unfair to Aspies. I'm a 20 yr old Aspie and I failed this semester of college due to depression and I've never had a girlfriend due to my awkwardness and ugliness. I don't care if everyone says "Your fault" because it's not my fault, it's the world's fault they don't accommodate to my special needs. YES, nothing wrong with being babied because I think Aspergers is WORSE than cancer. Even cancer victims have sex and get girlfriends have a decent social life. Asperger's is a REASON, not an excuse to fail.

I wish all Aspies get this message, no matter how whiny or pathetic. I think being pathetic is good because people feel sorry for you and they should because normal people live in heaven right now compared to me. Nothing wrong with self-pity and the victim mentality, I AM A VICTIM OF ASPERGER'S SYNDROME! Just like Jews were victims of Hitler's Holocaust.

And no, I WILL NEVER MAN UP! I am a permanent p*ssy due to my disability and my DNA says "failure" "loser" "ugly" "weak". The problem is my genetics, NOT CHOICE. Asperger's makes you unable to man up due to hypersensitivity. I act like a total child because of my disability, not my choice. And I have the First Amendment right to do so.

Remember fellow Autistics and Aspies, it's the world's fault your life isn't happy, not yours. Asperger's syndrome is a death sentence and you know it.

Sounds like you have 'Quasimodism' not autism.

You were diagnosed ?

[

source, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quasimodo

What you say sounds self-defeating IMO. Can be common among Aspies when they realize their social deficits and aren't quite prepared to accept themselves yet.

You will grow up eventually.

Who are saying autistic people are crybabies? Thats not something I have ever heard. Maybe people have said that to you and you took it as "all autistic people need to stop being crybabies", because your entire self image seems to be about having autism. Maybe because that is really, really convenient. But you are not autism. You have it. You are NOT the same as everyone on the spectrum, and frankly i cant relate to any of your issues in any way what so ever. Dont act like you speak for autistic people.

Im not saying having autism of any kind is easy, and I can see life is hard for you right now. It does not, however, excuse this post.

Let me make a few things clear.

1. Depression affects about 5-12% of the male american population, where I assume you live. Quick google search told me that. Meaning: this is not an issue that only affects autistic people, (DUH!) it is a common health problem. Very difficult to go through - but a human problem, not an autistic one.

Life is not unfair to you, its just LIFE. This is what it is, deal with it get out. Life is not fair, you are not a child so stop blaming the world for your problems. The world is not your mother.

2. Never having had a girlfriend at age 20 is not something that only autistic people experience. Its such a common thing, a human thing not an autistic thing. BY THE WAY- You do not have a right to a girlfriend, or sex, or affection or attraction from girls. Ever. Ever in your life. Its not like girls are yours to win and if you dont - you have been cheated on life. Girls dont exist for your satisfaction.

3. Do not ever compare your developmental disorder to the holocaust, you little...omg. You should be ashamed. Or to cancer. You should be ashamed of this. And try your best to stop pitying yourself. Self improvement is entirely possible.

The world does not owe you the things you think it owes you. Wanting pity will make you a truly resented presence in peoples lives, FYI. Look out for that, it wont be fun.

Sure life can be hard with Asperger's but self-pity isn't going to make things any better; all it is going to do is make people point at you and call you a "cry-baby". You've got the make the best of your life the best you can.

Well, not only is that extremely melodramatic, it's also a great way to absolve yourself of any responsibility for your life. I don't know what makes you think the world owes you a good life without you having to lift a finger but maybe you should try to figure that out for yourself so you can move forward.

What makes you feel that AS is a death sentence? Anyways, technically speaking, life is a death sentence. At some point, everyone will die, neurotypical and autistic alike.

Can't say I speak for everyone here, but given the comparison in the OP I'm perfectly happy to have ASD...

... and not cancer.

Exactly. Having watched my mother die a slow agonising death from cancer I know which of the two I prefer!

Wow if you are expecting sympathy or someone to agree you are in the wrong place. WOW o_0!

Yes and no.
I agree with some of what you say.
But don't expect that from the rest of the world.

To me, the most urgent thing you need to get a handle on is the fact that the world is full of predators. There?s nothing new under the sun, and this will never change.

They will automatically exploit any weakness they can see, unless they also see a deterrent ? like a big brother with big muscles, or a social construct that assures a penalty for exploiting a group that society has chosen to protect. (And no, the ignorant majority does not yet accept Asperger?s as one of the protected groups.) Some predators seem to believe that leaving you in peace would be immoral. Especially if you?re a man, you don?t want to attract that kind of attention.

The world also has room for a lot of compassionate, nurturing people who are willing to help, but not if it costs too much. Most people, even if they want to be kind, don?t have the social capital to get away with it. (They are barely holding their own in the social pecking order and are not strong enough to carry you.) They are the ones who are nice to you in private, but seem to be ashamed to be seen with you. Don?t make yourself any heavier than you need to be, and don?t condemn the good people for giving what little they can.

The predators are always on the lookout for an easy meal. The gentle nurturers are usually not so quick to see that you need help.

You need to live in the real world, which means that you need to hide your weaknesses as much as possible. It ain?t fair, but it?s there.

OP should give himself a shoe up the arse, then maybe a hug. Negativity and bitterness will make your life miserable.

Have a read around on these boards, there's plenty of Aspies who have overcome their 'disability' and manage to find some kind of fulfilment whether it be love or employment or both or whatever. Everyone has their problems and not everyone has much of a choice about that, but you can choose to have a better attitude.

Plenty of decent folk here too that will give you advice, though you may wish to post emotional rants like this in the Haven. (subforum of this board)

It's a reason that you struggle, that you have to work harder for some things (and some things, even if they come easily to others, aren't going to turn out to be worth the amount of effort they're going to cost you).

It's a reason that you make stupid social mistakes...

...but it's not a reason that you don't need to apologize for your errors, or set the record straight, or attempt to learn from and not repeat your mistakes.

I guess it's harsh, but your ATTITUDE is, at this point, a bigger problem than your ASPERGER'S.

And yes, I DO know what you are talking about. I live with it, daily. Day in, day out, for the last 36 years and until the day I die.

Am I tired?? YES. Will I be glad to lay my burden down, even if it turns out that there's nothing after this life?? ABSOLUTELY. Are there days when I figure that THIS LIFE has to be Hell?? MONTHLY, if not WEEKLY. Do I rant and rail and cry about how much I hate the world, and hate this disease?? Sob and ask God WHY, WHY IN HIS HOLY NAME, HE WOULD DO THIS TO ANYONE??

YOU BETCHA.

But it isn't the world's job to accommodate me, any more than it's my job to bend myself into a pretzel to accommodate each and every person I meet, just because they're "normal."

There's this thing called "meeting in the middle." Too many people don't know about it.

I think Aspies that are crybabies need to stop being crybabies and act Aspie.

I think your idea will only make matters worse for autism as a whole. Because if non-autistics saw autism as what you're proposing, it would lead to dishonest people faking autism to get things their way and eventually it would get to a point where it comes back on us and damage the reputation of autism even more.

Though I completely understand how you feel as even after I was diagnosed, my family in particular still treats me with the same regard. I do wish that there was a little more accommodation for aspies in certain aspects of our lives. But our current society is so cynical towards ANYONE who receives an accommodation of any sorts (particularly in the U.S.) that one often has to proceed with caution about it.

Autistic being treated for cancer here. How's about a few comparisons here.

Autistic: enormous difficulty finding and keeping job because of being Autistic . Cancer:physically incapable of working because of weakness

Being Autistic preferable here.

Autistic; never have a "good hair day." Cancer: No hair

Autistic bad hair wins again

Autistic; not alot of great sex. Cancer; not a lot of great sex

Autistic wins because self-service usually still works fine.

Autistic: people avoid because you're strange. Cancer: people find you scary and avoid you because you remind them of their own mortality

Autistic easier once again.

Autistic: Food is difficult because of sensory issues. Cancer: Food is difficult because of sensory issues

Autistic is preferable because at least if you get the food down it won't usually come right back up.

Autistic: You know you probably still have lots of time to lie your dreams. Cancer: You know you probably do not.

I prefer Autistic dreaming

Autistic: No one would EVER favorably compare cancer to autism. Cancer: same thing

This one should be a draw. Why isn't it?

Life as an Autistic can be difficult. Difficult is not synonymous with bad or dreadful or horrible. I am a happy [usually] Autistic person fighting cancer. I LOVE my Autistic, often difficult life.

One more thing. Pity parties are allowed for both conditions. Just try to keep them to less than an hour long, no more than once a week. [ and no loud music after midnight please]