Ever hate being born the way you are?

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I do at times, I get born with Aspergers then find out I have a high probability of having severe ADHD as well and a mild chance of having BPD but also having PTSD later on in life! I feel like I am broken, my presence just drives most people away I try to be normal as much as I can but I just cant and it frustrates me! Whenever I do put on my false NT facade it drains my energy and I dont feel free but I am somewhat able to fit in until I slip up get hyper and act childish or say innapropriate stuff and ruin it for everyone. Life is so damn frustrating at times!

I was only diagnosed with Aspergers last year so I'm probably still getting used to the idea that there is a reason why I'm a little bit different but regardless of when I was diagnosed, I've always known I was and I hate it. I've tried to be 'normal' to fit in and have pretty much failed there and like you, I find it quite exhausting.

Some people have said to me that individuality is great but they're not the ones who get left out because they're so 'individual' that they have no clue about what everyone else is talking about. There are a few people who I feel like I can be the real me around but I'm still asking myself what I did wrong to deserve this.

Sometimes I wish I could be normal just for one day at least and not be considered as a freak whenever I reveal my true self but thats just a pipe dream Im always going to be considered a freak whos immature and overly hyper with an odd sense of humor most wont get and people either telling me to grow up or they ignore me and not want to have anything to do with me except be the target to have pranks pulled on and bullied.

Live with that feeling most every day of my life.

When I get there (let's just assume that there is indeed a "there" to "get to"), I'm going to have some very sincere questions for [God].

Like, "WHY?????"

You'd think I'd have learned by now. I've known for 17 years, you'd think I'd be over it.

Nope. I still look in the mirror and think, "EEEK!! A FREEEK!!"

Im tired of being that freak nobody wants to be around and left alone in eternal solitude unable to connect with most people. I lock myself away and slowly the few friends I have are moving away and I feel alone to the point where its like this! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPsrsyM5iYM[/youtube]

I hate it so much.

But you have the potential to be a great scientist.

I have a love/hate relationship with my condition. I love it because it makes me a unique individual who is capable of accomplishing great things in certain areas, but I hate it as well because it makes it much much harder for me to "fit in" than the average person, and it also limits my capabilities in many areas that "normal" people have no real problems with. I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for my condition. If I were forcibly given the "cure", I would be transformed into a completely different person, but not the type of person I would want to be.

I feel you. I think my mental differences make me a deeper thinker, but that doesn't help me in daily life much at all.

For the longest time I thought things would pan out so that I would ultimately benefit from being different than most, but that hasn't happened at all. At this point I just wish I was normal. I wouldn't be a deep thinker, but ignorance is bliss, and deep thinking has little value in this fast-paced world. Better to be efficient and shallow.

I don't think it's ever occured to me to ask, why was I born this way.

I usualy just say, I wish I was never born.

yes i seem born to be alone yet gifted brain that requires to be with others. a cruel punishment.

I've felt this way many times.

I used to, but not anymore.

Every hour of every day for the past three months. Ever since I realized that the world considers my existence (and therefore me) as a tragic mistake. I feel defective, like some human factory reject.