Do you think I could have Aspergers?

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Hi. I'm a 33 year old female, and after heading back to college as a mature student, I ended up in a scenario where college has almost been impossible to deal with due to a serious of neurological and physical symptoms. I ended up doing some reading up on women with aspergers, but I'm unsure if I'm just an eccentric NT, or if I should seriously consider getting diagnosed with Aspergers.

Below are the traits that are throwing up yellow flags for me:

- Extreme sensory issues with sound, possible Audio Processing Disorder that is supported by my physician. This includes inability to hear people speaking directly to me in a noisy room; inability to hear/need to write things down if the person is speaking too fast or giving me a list. Needing to take breaks in order to "recentre" because I get sensory overload very easily.
- Anxiety and Panic Disorder issues. Extremely uncomfortable with conflict. I will avoid it all costs. I have no issues with reading emotion on face or gestures, however, I am often told that I sometimes come across as tactless or rude, and I have no idea what they mean. I often miss sarcasm. I find things funny that no one else does.
- Since childhood, have been apathetic about socializing. I have make "reminders" to contact anyone. I do not actively stay connected with friends or others. I can spend weeks or months alone with only sporadic social contact and I'm perfectly content. I will often "forget" friends and family unintentionally.
- I cannot deal with large crowds. The stimuli is just too much. I will vacate to a quieter area in order to decompress very quickly.
- I do not like being around people who are erratic or drunk.
- I am extremely touch sensitive. I will avoid getting a haircut at all costs because I always leave in tears. I find physical sensation elsewhere to be extremely pleasurable (more than most - almost sensory seeking behaviour). I don't care who you are - if I can get a hug out of you, I will.
- I am in the "gifted" category intellectually. I am an artist and illustrator. At present I am training to work as an early childhood educator.
- I have an extensive vocabulary.
- I was very shy and awkward as a child. I am not as much now. I did not have any childhood friends past the age of 8 or 9.
- Most of my friends when I was a child were either much older than I was, or much younger.
- I constantly write emails far too long, or talk about topics of personal interests far too much. I often dominate conversations, much to my guilt later.
- I am fixated on specific routines (i.e. I MUST recheck the stove, heaters, locks before I will go ANYWHERE).
- I cannot do work or studying without the apartment being immaculately clean. I am hyper organized with practically everything (I have binders of organized magazine clippings, etc.). If someone moves something - I'll know.
- I often find myself engrossed in specific interests for hours, days, months, or years, to the detriment of other priorities.
- I do not have issues with empathy. If anything, I would say (for lack of a better term), I am empathic.
- I do have some precognitive abilities as well.
- Deplorable time management skills. At times I will intentionally leave things till the last minute so that I have to rush to get things done or be slightly late. I have tried to change the behavior in vain.
- I have a tendency to change my personality to "fit" the boyfriends I have been with in the past.
- I often feel like I am a different species.
- I do not care about fashion or makeup - mostly just comfort. I haven't owned a dress since I was 9, when my parents forced me to wear one.
- I often feel like I am internally gender neutral. I have many "male" body language movements. Many times I have said to myself that if it wasn't for the sexual activity piece of relationships, I could happily "love" either sex, almost on command.

I thank you in advance for your input.

Asperger's disorder is all to easy to 'self diagnose' after reading certain articles on the internet, books and stuff...

People go 'yeah, that sounds like me' and they would have been none the wiser if they had not read anything about it.

You could have some idea that you may have these things, but unless you talk to a psychiatrist about them and have the diagnosis actually confirmed, you are still not going to be any the wiser.

A lot of what you are describing can also fit into the Social Anxiety spectrum, or could just be a combination of a few personality disorders...but only a proper diagnosis will confirm/deny what you are experiencing.

Good luck and all the best.

Yeah, I just did an Aspie assessment posted on this board, and it looks like I'm "borderline" Aspie/NT.
I don't know. It's hard to know how to proceed. I keep hearing horror stories of how physicians keep denying patients the right to get assessed, or universal healthcare not covering assessment (I'm in Canada).

It seems possible you could have Asperger's. You should take one of the online tests to see if you should still pursue the concern. As SoMissunderstood stated, you'll need to confirm it with a psychiatrist who has experience diagnosing Asperger's.

The one thing that really stood out for me is that you can understand body language and facial expressions. It might be that you are just a certain type of Aspie. I think the test will give you a good starting point.

You do sound like you have some traits, but of course no one can diagnose you online. Either way tho, whether you have Aspergers or not, I think you have found a great place to share your experiences and get good information (check out Alex's videos among other things), because many of us do share some of these traits you mentioned.

Welcome to WP

P.S. Autism is not a "black and white" thing, it is on a large spectrum, you won't get a diagnosis unless you have significant disabilities, but even if you don't have difficulties that would get you a diagnosis, it doesn't mean that you can't have autistic traits. That's what I see here (I repeat, not a diagnosis, just my opinion from reading your message), you don't seem to have severe issues, but you still seem to have enough issues to make you feel like an outsider in the NT world.

It's all good.

I'm just learning to see 'people' and not just 'problems', so I should have welcomed the new member (I usually do this), but it was an oversight.

I just appreciated the reminder.

Welcome to Wrong Planet

Since these issues have negatively affected your life (trouble with college) and assessment could be a good idea. Make sure the person you see is an expert in how Autism Spectrum Disorders presents in adult women. Depending on where you live this is likely to involve a lot of research, time and money. The idea here is not to get diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder per se but to get the correct explanation for why you are having these difficulties so you can get treatments for or make adjustments that will make your life less difficult.

Gifted, shy and awkward are descriptions of plenty of people who aren't autistic. Nothing in your post makes me think you're autistic, that any traits you do have are subclinical, and you sound a bit more OCD than anything. I can't diagnose obviously but this is my opinion.

You haven't mentioned any significant impairments, and it's really unlikely you would have gone unnoticed this long if you were on the spectrum. Did anyone notice anything as a child, were you referred to psychiatrists for problems, were you ever suspected of being autistic as a child?

Also you mentioned you can change your personality for people which means you are adept at socialising.

No I definitely do not think you're on the spectrum, but you probably can get diagnosed if you're persistent enough. It's over-diagnosed and many clinicians are as clueless as the general population, and treat autism like any other personality disorder.

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I do not understand why you included some traits. Like having precognitive abilities? How is that at all relevant to being autistic or not?

Like you say, I think yellow flags is a word that is useful here. To be clear, everyone has autistic traits. Even NTs (this is not to say everyone is autistic, that is not the case). People with panic disorders, with schizoid personality disorder, with OCD, with sensory problems, with expressive/receptive language delays. By the nature of their conditions have more autistic traits than average. BUT, that doesn't necessarily mean that people in these populations are autistic (of course some are! but many arent).

A thing to consider is not, whether or not you have aspergers initially I don't think (going straight for a developmental disorder instead of looking at other later onset avenues is I think a mistake). But to first rule out the common things that may make someone appear as if they have aspergers.

I do not mean to sound dismissive of your concerns at all. If you feel something is wrong with you, then you should investigate it to the fullest. From your description I really don't know enough about your personal history to make a statement on it. You could be autistic, but you also could be a non-autistic person with OCD who is introverted.

In any case, welcome to wrong planet, and I hope you find something to help you here.

Sounds to me like your bigger problem is an anxiety disorder--OCD, maybe (depends on if that checking and organizing is taking up too much time).

You do have some Aspie traits, but others could be explained by anxiety. Here's my advice: Deal with that anxiety problem. Learn about AS--you may or may not have it, but you do have traits. Learn about introversion--which you definitely do have, and which is a perfectly healthy personality trait that makes you sensitive to your environment and averse to large crowds. But deal with that anxiety; it seems to be making your life miserable, and you shouldn't have to live like that.

Well aspergers is a plausible explanation for ?some? of what you listed and I?d say it?s quite likely you could be diagnosed but as everyone says you?d need a professional for it. Just make sure you get a professional who?s experienced with diagnosing woman as it ?can? manifest itself differently in them. A quote from Tony Attwood?s guide to aspergers book ?I have noted that girls with Aspergers Syndrome may be more difficult to recognize and diagnose due to coping and camouflaging mechanisms.? Note I'm just passing on information not saying anything just quoting somebody else who knows more than me.

As for Canada you?re right. At least in my province there are no professionals under the universal health care plan to diagnose autism, I checked, but that?s just my province it may be different for others. There are plenty of other professionals to do it though. A psychologist a short walk from here wanted 700 for it so if you have money just go buy it you don't need to get a referral from your physician do some research and contact a psychologist directly especially if you have some kind of health care plan from work. A couple minutes on the internet and I found every psychologist qualified for autism in my area who was available for assessments no need for a doctor to be involved. If you don't have the money research to see if there?s an autism center near you and contact them explain your financial troubles and see if they have any suggestions. The one near me actually has a very nice fellow who volunteers his time to give free diagnosis to those who can?t work and thus can?t afford it. Obviously there's a bit of a wait as it's all on his volunteer time but it works. You can also try finding people who work on a sliding pay scale or who might be willing to work out a payment plan of some kind. Who knows.