Do you ever feel bad about being anti-social?

Post Reply New Topic

Do you ever feel bad about being anti-social?

I mean, do you ever come to feel like a "bad person" because you do not want to "share yourself" with others socially.

This is a dilemma for me. On the one hand I hate all the social play/teasing/bullying going on. But I realize it has to be there to make a social group work. If you are not ready to act submissively for more well-accepted/popular people than yourself, you act anti-socially. Really!


But this acting submissive for the group makes me feel awful.


How does one deal with this?

I don't think that you have to accept bullying just to fit in, that doesn't seem right or fair. Friends are people who care about how you feel and who treat you with kindness. Ok, no one is perfect and you won't always agree on everything and a little friendly jesting is ok, but you shouldn't need to feel like you have to be anyone's lapdog.

What sort of things are you facing that are making you feel uncomfortable? Maybe I am just not understanding what you mean.

No, not at all (i.e. I don't feel bad for not being a social butterfly). Being social has nothing to do with being a good person or a bad person, there is plenty of people who are very social and good people, and others who are also very social and are bad people. There is also good leaders and bad leaders, some use their natural leadership for good things, and some use it for bad things.

sometimes i feel that i am too rude after i get home if i reflect on what happened when i was out.
people are by and large innocent in their intentions and most people would see that, but i just see people as either obstacles or conduits to my progress back home.

there was a girl at the supermarket checkout today who mumbled something at me and i said "what?" and she said "oh just nothing. i asked how you were is all but you didn't hear it". i acknowledged the fact and paid for my stuff and left, but later on i thought i should have told her "how i was" in order to make the situation easier for her, but it did not occur to me at the time. i would like to have acted differently in that situation, but it is in the past now.

you just gotta be how you are and live with the consequences or else fret and agonize over every thing. i am sure she will live.

blast! i edited this once to include the word "i", and when i submitted it i found another person had posted after me, and so now i am editing this a second time to report that fact.

This never happens to me. I feel like I am just being myself and there is no problem with that.

I do feel like this with my family. I love socialising at work and being part of the ''herd'' and being interested in gossip and stuff. But if seems to be a bit different when it comes to family at home. When a lot of people are at my house, I kind of find myself hiding away in my room until they have gone. I get told that I'm socially isolating myself, especially when I complain that I'm bored or lonely. My mum always says ''well you had the chance when the family was round, and you stayed in your room the whole time, that's your problem''. Yes, I can see her point clearly. It is my problem, which is the answer to this thread. I feel bad about socially alienating myself. I think it's because I don't like walking into a room when all my family's in there. It's not the same sort of social anxiety I get when walking into a room full of strangers. I think it's more of a feeling of embarrassment. I don't know if people of my age should have grown out of this, or if I'm like a surly teenager or something, I don't know. I do know that a lot of teenagers (mostly boys) get embarrassed and withdrawn around their family and don't really like to be the center of attention when entering a room, but are very sociable with their mates. That's how I am.

Unsocialable, not anti-social.

people are not part of own world, so do not feel anything because am not able to communicate,interact and understand things like they can.

every time have gone to the family house have always gone on the computer or whenever family come to visit,will just go on the computer or go to sleep if that is part of routine,its like theyre not even there,am not being rude but this is how autism impacts on self.
to self,people are all the same object in look and worth, theyre a concept that will never understand or relate to.

i enjoy working with the public and just having aquaitances to talk to but i really dont care about having friends. in fact i do wish it was just me and my husband and nobody else, as he is the only person that understands me the most and we are true soulmates. he tells me he is shy and has to force himself to socialise, but wont admit that to anyone else, because he seems to think that if he alienates himself away from social opportunity he will be 'disrespected' or something.

i believe he has some asd traits. he is diagnosed with adhd. i have autism and i like my time out of work free and the only person that is welcome to step into my world is my husband.

All the time. I'm quite antisocial, and I often feel that a lot of people aren't worth my time, but at the same time, I see how other people can socialize and get along so easily, and I often wish I was like them. Not to mention, antisocial people are looked down upon in general society, and this societal pressure to be social just makes me feel worse. I wish I could stop caring, and I wish society would stop caring as well.

I've had people try to make me feel bad about it, but I don't. The way I see it, I don't bother people, I mind my own business, and that's all I ask of them, too. They are the ones being rude by demanding my attention.