Money never paid back, now what?

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Perhaps someone has some real idea here or has been in a similar mess and can tell me how they solved the problems. I myself am flat out of ideas and I'm well beyond fed up. To make a long story short, I have an immediate relative, who has fallen well into a habit of basically mistaking me for a bank machine or an interest free loan office. Now matter how many times I say I cant or there is no way, she finds a way to get money from me, whether it be begging harassment or guilt or some kind of manipulation I don't quite grasp well enough to know how to combat. In all fairness, this is someone who really can't make it to through a month without any help due to circumstances, but the thing is I cant barely make it either because of this.

The constant nearly weekly begging for money has left me in deeper and deeper debt which has started to pile up now. I don't make a lot of money myself, and after paying my rent and helping her out, I am often let to wonder if I am going take the money for gas in my truck to get to work, out of my grocery money and eat canned soup half a month, or out of my bills and fall behind on payments. She has no car or her own and relies on mine for rides everywhere, and the extra fuel cost is killing me, on top of the growing debt leaving me shorter and shorter. Each month now I only get further and further behind and see an end to this situation further and further away. Just saying no is not an options either. That so called simple solution that is presented over and over by people seems almost laughable to me. If I could do that, do they not think I would have by now. This weekend I was promised a couple hundred dollars in pay back. She begged and begged for help and insisted she could pay last Friday. I was absolutely counting on that cash for gas, groceries and one bill. Now of course I dont have it, I am almost a week til my own payday and have no idea what I;m going to actually do now. If I need to borrow money myself, I'll only owe interest on it, and of course I already owe some on that now late bill. Id rather go hungry all day at work if I do run out of groceries, than need to borrow more money to help myself when I have family soaking me for all I have. I know I wont run out of food for a cat at least so that's one thing I don't have to worry about at least.

I suppose this whole thing isn't even really entirely about money and loaning it without repayment. its about feeling absolutely and entirely used again and again with no real way to stop it. I feel like if I had the social skills and the understanding of human motivation to really end this mess I might just be treated with respect. Just today I tried to calmly explain that I just don't have any spare cash left to grab something to eat though I hadn't eaten in hours and was unable to get home at the time to grab something. Instead of caring and offering at least a fraction of the money back today she ate a burger in my truck. Same thing later stopping for a cold drink and simply asking, "aren't you coming in to get one?" I feel like its being thrown up in my face that if I am not NT, am not "normal" I don't matter and don't need to be considered important as others. I;ve had it with putting food on someone else's table while I am litterally selling my own no longer needed things to feed myslef. At this point I would be willing to write off the money owed, which over the last year has reached a high number, just to never be asked for anymore and have a chance to slowly get back on my own feet. At this point I feel like even getting a better job (if that were possible) or picking up more hours at the one I've got, is just as useless, because I more I have the more people seem to suddenly need and find ways of getting.

Maybe this will strengthen your resolve; you can bail someone out of a situation but not out of a lifestyle. It didn't take much for me beyond the part that says she has fallen into the habit of considering you a walking ATM. The time to tell her no was before you had to start weighing fuel vs other expenses, the next time she gives you the sales pitch tell her "I'm really sorry but I just can't right now, you're a smart person I'm sure you'll think of something" - as you've been trying to do yourself since she gets rewarded twice with her bad behavior - the money and she gets to keep at it, while you've been the one left jeopardizing your own wellbeing with nothing in return

Read Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud.

I have a relation like this,they get twice the money I do,yet they were always calling to borrow money off me.I finally severed all ties with them.People like that are selfish,they don't care if you have to do without as long as they get what they want.

Can't you no bring this issue up with other members of your family relate them to her?
To me it sounds like financial abuse that needs reporting

I must admit I think I typed this topic up on a day when I was particularly anxious, mad, and baffled by the notions of behavior and such. I had essentially just had more money stolen from me in the way of one more broken promise among many. The idea of not being taken seriously is not a new one to me, but of course this is someone who I feel should darn well know better. I suppose I was mad,and still am mad in a way over much more than just money. I feel sometimes like having AS basically means practically wearing a society mandated sign that reads "walk all over me,"and I get sick of it.

My local family is very small. Really only the relative who is the source of the problem and a couple others, who quite frankly I am not convinced either care or have any idea of what to do themselves. I just plan to address this matter with her myself again and hope for an end to it soon, or at least less of a demand on me while I get out of debt. In any case I feel like even if someone could help me, I wouldn't really ask them to step in for me. As I understand it, it was the perceived idea that I cannot really deal with things myself that started this mess in the first place. I have wondered if it is considered financial abuse though as well. I live alone, fully manage my own life as an independent person, which I was always considered capable of doing, and of course control my own money budget and bills. Maybe I am unclear about how financial abuse is defined. I always just assumed it happened when someone stole or withheld funds from a dependent or incapacitated person?

Not necessarily depended or incapacitated adults. You are being taken advantage of a vulnerability or weakness that prevents you from dealing effectively with an abusive situation-persuading you out of money.
"it was the perceived idea that I cannot really deal with things myself"

You probably have problems expressing yourself successfully and this relative who seems to be good at manipulating has the gift of the gab and therefore you feel an argument/game is won on her side. You cannot effectively convey your declination of giving out more money, am I right?

Oh boy, Oh boy.

Look here, this is an issue many people deal with, and it's called boundaries. You have terrible judgement on the issue right now and it would best FANTASTIC if you ignored what you are telling yourself in your head about whats going to happen.

You leave a note and say you want your money back and you're not lending her anymore money. You write this note not just because she's a goddamn parasite but because you clearly are not willing to stand up for yourself.

"AS getting pushed around is common" Huh, well maybe. But for you, its definitely happening. Even lovers wouldn't put up with this kind of s**t.

Do something for yourself for once and never talk to her again.