Loneliness

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Is anyone else really, unbearably lonely? I am a girl, I am 19 and go to University. I keep seeing all my friends having relationships and it makes me feel very lonely. I had one relationship when I was 15-17, we met at school as friends, we were friends first for a long time and things just evolved from there. We broke up because I got very ill with depression and anxiety and couldn't be around people any more. Noe I don't know how to talk to boys and I never know if they're interested in me or not. Lots of my friends get hit on in bars and clubs, I never do. People have told me that I'm not bad looking, I don't understand why nobody wants to talk to me or get to know me. It is making me feel worse all the time. I am so lonely. Is it because I have strange social skills? Does anyone else have this problem? Is anyone else feeling like this? People are all meeting people and getting to know people at my age and I am not. I know this sounds like I'm moaning and being spoilt or something, please don't tell me if you think I'm being stupid, I just want to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this.

Tell me about it. I can assure you that you aren't the only one.

Check out my name. Also, take a look at this thread:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt231066.html

Oh, and welcome to WP!

Haha, it seems that I am far from being the only one! Thank you both for replying

I've always been mostly alone, but not lonely. Had a friend when I was a kid that betrayed me, of course I was a weird kid but he shoulda stuck up for me.
I have a great imagination, spent my youth reading mostly, fantasizing mostly, still do. I'm great company. I enjoy being around myself.

One thing that might help you that helped me was getting strapped in with someone totally different and trying to understand and talk with them. I ended up in supported housing and one of the staff was this girl and talking to her was the highlight of my week. That mystery kept me going, and it can do that for you too.

No, I am very lonely too. And I feel more and more disappointed in people in general, which makes me more depressed. I get really annoyed with the mean/rude/ignorant/racist/misogynist/misandrist/injustful comments I see everywhere on the internet. Appearantly people hide behind their computerscreens and type their true minds and feelings, because I never seem to meet these kinds of people in real life. This makes me lose faith in humanity. All of it makes me not want to go outside into the world anymore. I don't trust people anymore and I am quickly losing hope that I can ever surround myself with thoughtful, open and non-hostile people.

I feel the same way. It makes me so sad that some people are so mean, I really don't see the point.

I am like this too, I read a lot or I just sit and think, but sometimes I really want someone who will be around and love me and what not. I like being alone and by myself, but I feel weirdly lonely, I'm lonely when I am around other people.

My weed dealer is the only person that I talk to fairly regularly who I consider to be an actual "friend" in real life. And it's like a 10-15 minute conversation every 2-3 weeks or so. One reason I consider him to be a friend is that he sells it to me at prices that are a fraction of what most people pay.

Aagh, me too. Sometimes I imagine I'm a cute elf girl living in an awesome treehouse and I capture people my age and stuff. Then I get all confused because I just wanted a friend, but they are all upset that they got kidnapped.

Its even with people I liked. Especially if I liked them, they felt so far away and perfect. Even though I knew they were flawed people who still pooped and whatnot they seemed so pure and magical. I hate that sometimes, normals make it all look so easy.

Same, I see people and I want to keep them and go for walks with them and I think if only I could just take the people that I wanted but it doesn't work like that and people just think I'm strange. I don't understand how some people make connections with other people, it is so hard. People people people, I have repeated that too many times.

foxhugs?

you might find it easier to meet someone, somewhere quieter - like the library ......

Trust me: you don't want to get hit on in bars!

No, you aren't the only one. I am also lonely, especially now that the semester is over. I at least was able to maintain a facade of sociability when school was in session.

Hey SmallCat (and everyone else!)

Full disclosure, I am not Asperger's but I am a life coaching and I specialize in helping people with ASD.

I couldn't help noticing that your thread reminded me of how quite a lot of my Aspie clients feel, so I thought i'd drop in my two cents.

It really seems to me that because of your more quiet nature and the fact that you had a significant struggle with depressions and anxiety (kudos on pulling through it by the way!) that you've just lost touch with or haven't developed some of the key social skills you need to be seen as approachable and really be able to connect with people romantically.

This really makes it tough to function socially and can sometimes make it seem like there is something 'wrong' with you, but there definitely isn't! It just means you need to learn a bit about and work on some simple social skills that will make you *seem* more approachable to guys and also for you to be able to express yourself and connect with them

I specialize in helping people develop these sort of skills and knowledge from scratch, so f you'd like to ask me anything specific on here please feel free!

Otherwise I have a blog (succeedingsociallyaspie) and a youtube channell (Asperger's In Adults) if you'd like to check out my articles and video tutorials on dating and social skills (I think the easiest way is to just click th www button underneath this)