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randomweirdo
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05 Jul 2014, 7:56 pm

I was just wondering about something i've noticed about a couple of people with aspergers I have been friends with, I was wondering if this was a typical behaviour for someone on the spectrum. I know how people with ASD don't like small talk or pointless conversations. However is it typical for someone with aspergers to need to have a specific reason to hang out with a friend? For instance one of my aspergers friends will only hang out if there is a specific occasion or reason to e.g a birthday or a comic festival. He will never hang out "just because". Some people take that to mean he doesn't really care about them, but I believe it might be an aspergers thing?



MjrMajorMajor
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05 Jul 2014, 8:11 pm

I would guess shared activities would be preferred over the vague term of "hanging out".The latter just isn't structured enough.



nerdygirl
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05 Jul 2014, 8:24 pm

I prefer to know what I will do when I'm "hanging out" with someone, even if it is "hey, lets get some coffee and talk."

I think there is a couple of reasons for this. Unless I am *really* comfortable with someone, I will have some anxiety about getting together with them. Not sure about their motivations, not sure what to expect, etc. So having an idea of what is going on ahead of time reduces some of that.

Another thing is that I've had so many experiences of ideas of "hanging out" falling through that I don't really believe someone who says, "let's hang out." If you say "let's go do such-and-such specific thing" then I am more likely to take you seriously that you actually do want to spend time with me. When there is some activity like a comic convention on the calendar, you are less likely to blow me off.



NGC6205
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05 Jul 2014, 10:23 pm

Personally for me, it is not that I need a reason to hang out per se, but I have difficulty comprehending how to arrange to hangout without a specific reason. I would generally happily accept a more specific invitation, but I am almost clueless how to respond when simply suggested that I hang out with someone.



FireyInspiration
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05 Jul 2014, 11:05 pm

Aspies prefer predictability to something that's unstructured. He feels that he might end up doing what he seems as 'nothing' for a few hours, and you you just want to chat, he feels there might just not be anything to talk about, and is likely afraid of the awkwardness.



1024
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06 Jul 2014, 10:35 am

Is it typical for someone without Asperger's to ask someone to hang out without giving any reason?


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ALittleBitConfused
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19 Aug 2014, 6:32 pm

I don't really get 'hanging out'. I don't mind if someone invites me to come to their house, as long as they have a plan for what we will do there, but I hate taking on the responsibility myself.