Men suffer more emotional pain from failed romance

Post Reply New Topic

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healt ... laims.html

Whiny men...

Not surprising. When general society forces you to take the initiative much more often; and if you just get rejected or treated the same every time you date/pursue women; you're probably bound to be the one emotionally suffering from it.

Because society says you HAVE to be the pursuer; and you get told you "suck it up" and "man up" every time you get rejection.

Also mentioned in said article, the only comfort for young men is alcohol and drugs.

The moral of the story: more social support is beneficial. Yawn.

And you are acting bothered because....?

Because I thought the article may have been informative, insightful, or even moderately interesting. I'll just go deal with the disappointment with copious drug use now...

I have no idea what could make a post like that true. There is a completely different scenario trumped up in my mind. Two words come to mind. Supply, and tool.

Agreed. Whether it was good or bad, the effects of any politically rapid change in social constructs are too often negative. In the United States, the Reconstruction Era of national history (after the Civil War) was necessary, but a huge disappointment by most involved, not least the former slaves who ended up free (isolated), and out of work or trapped into sharecropping without the protection they had as "property." The psychological, economic and social effects lasted until the 1950s and 1960s.

On slightly smaller scales, like achieving the perceived (dating) equality of people regardless of gender, such unintended consequences could have benefitted from an attempt by extremists on both sides to resist aggravating the wrong goals. Equality, yes; but, I doubt the intentional humiliation of men that found favor since the 1970s in situation comedies yielded benefits to anyone. Divorce skyrocketed and weekend fathers are now focused on their sports teams and not their kids, while women are overworked, in debt and pissed off. If they date at all, too many are looking for a sugar daddy.

So, are we all better off?

I'll just go deal with the disappointment with copious drug use now...[/quote]

I'll join you!

I stopped dropping lines just to post in this thread. Stoned as I am, I still can add my two cents.

Seriously though, I thought the observation about a support system is actually pretty insightful. I did find the though process that men then turn to drugs to be silly. There's no way they can attribute drug use solely to rejections from girlfriends/fiances. In fact, it comes across as naive.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... dy-failure

I would guess that this is the case in other countries, too. Really makes you think

Society shuns mentally weak men because those sort of men aren't the kind that can't hold out during some bloody medieval siege.

Society pays a price for continuing to emphasize this sort of primitive mindset in males, it's just so antiquated and unneeded in our point of history... A long time ago, we needed hardened males that could withstand the mental and physical parts of battle, but not anymore.

Solution is to stop emphasizing this warrior mentality, we don't need warriors anymore. Society needs to start empathizing with males much more, and to accept them in their weakness, males are afraid to seek support because they're afraid of appearing weak. a lot of the burden here is also on women because they need to find it in themselves to accept the male in his weakness. Because if she continues to find that very unattractive, then he will continue to burden himself with bottled-up grief, to give the illusion that he's strong.

Men do crazy things for the affection of women, but women need to become wise enough not to enable that. At that point, men need to have enough courage to let go of their pride, because the only way you will seek support is to acknowledge that you're in a state of weakness, a proud male will be unable to do that, and so this is where men get extremely stubborn (which is part of his outdated warrior mentality).

Needless to say, this sort of change, if it ever happens, will most likely take a lot of generations, i don't think society can simply erase its want for warrior males, this desire is illustrated in sports, and its glamour which is very embedded within most cultures... In this, i'm sad to say I don't think the change will ever happen, people just love the warrior-male far too much, and it's this image which infatuates a young boy's mind and indoctrinates him to emphasize his strength. There is no room for weakness in the warrior-male, he's VERY proud and stubborn, that's precisely what makes him a good warrior.

So men will never seek support as long as those expectations are had of him.

I disagree. I suspect you mean American males. But, I would describe those males (and females) who protest (and often battle) their own national police in places like Hong Kong, Egypt, Cyprus and Greece to oppose the corruption that they see in their own governments are the prototype of today's warriors. Your suggestion that American society doesn't "need warriors anymore" is a little dangerous in a world where the direction of militarized corruption seems clearly headed for the United States as well as Asia, Europe and the Middle East.

I agree, however, that the overt hyper-masculine and hyper-feminine imagery that Americans are force fed and mimic is harmful.

I don't think Klowglas means literal warriors here, more the "alpha male" stereotype that is so expected of men to embody. A kind of "nothing fazes me" attitude, if you will.

By the way, I think the corruption you mention is already in effect. It's only thinly disguised too, because the nation's leaders know their citizens won't do anything about it

Ah, then we certainly agree. Yes, the fake masculinity and femininity are very harmful.

Yeah, they are. I've often been told by girls that they want a boyfriend just like me. Except it's never actually me because I suffer from depression and aren't some sort of musclebound hunk

I would add that Alpha males as you called them are rarely the ones who step up and contribute in times like a seige, Alexander the great was looked at a sissy both now and in his time Napoleon wasn't a stereo-type of an alpha male Hitler is the definition of a sissy, not saying they are good ppl but the whole idea is silly unless were all made to die as gladiators 1v1.