My friend is not speaking to me and I don't know why :(

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Bazinga4
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11 Jul 2014, 12:34 pm

So I volunteered in a summer camp for two weeks.My friend was volunteering a week after.She went on holidays that why we didn't start camp at same time as me.This week was awful my friend was so cold towards me and only would speak to me in a group.I was able to get to know the volunteers more the week she wasn't there..We havn't text or anything.I think she thought that I wouldn't make friends in camp but i did.I think she was jealous.I didn't exclude her or say anything mean to her.I can't help it if the other volunteers want to chat to me and not her they know me a bit longer.I couldn't relax at the camp then because of this and might have damaged new friendships I made in camp.

I do care about her but don't know why she is behaving this way.I did ask if everything was okay with me and her and she said yes.My sister said just wait for a while and things will be fine.Its just frustrating when a friend is not speaking to u and u don't know why :(

Any thoughts? :cry:



AspieUtah
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11 Jul 2014, 12:41 pm

Be the friend you always have been. Invite her to movies, lunches, coffee, etc. Like you always have. She will probably relax after some days and accept. Things will be like they used to be.

If not, simply ask her why she is so distant.


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Magnanimous
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11 Jul 2014, 1:52 pm

The first step is to ask them.
The question HAS to get to them.


After that... the ball is in their court, so to speak. Wait for them to answer the question on their own terms... or not at all if it comes to that.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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11 Jul 2014, 2:28 pm

It sounds like you have already asked her and got a perfunctory answer. Which is fine, just let that perfunctory answer be.

If it feels right, maybe wait four or five days and then invite her to the type of event or outing the two of you normally do.

It is a good thing to branch out socially and make new friends, even if you do have one special friend, and you don't say whether or not that was the case with her. But in either case, it's good to be open to new people, too. I think you may have read it correctly, that to some extent it may be jealousy on her part. Or, you may have neglected to practice host behavior or bridge behavior between her and other campers. And you may not even really have established skills in this area, which is fine. You're a human being, you certainly don't have to be perfectly. If you did make a mistake, just try and recover graceful and continue moving forward being friends with her if possible.



Summer_Twilight
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11 Jul 2014, 5:39 pm

It sounds like you did everything that you could. Sometimes people seem to turn it off for some reason or another mainly its because they have problems of their own.

I would ask her again "Are you mad at me or anything?" "Did I do something to hurt your feelings?" If she ignore you just leave her alone.



Summer_Twilight
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11 Jul 2014, 5:39 pm

It sounds like you did everything that you could. Sometimes people seem to turn it off for some reason or another mainly its because they have problems of their own.

I would ask her again "Are you mad at me or anything?" "Did I do something to hurt your feelings?" If she ignore you just leave her alone.



tcorrielus
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11 Jul 2014, 11:26 pm

I see nothing wrong with having more than one friend. Everybody I see has multiple friends.



WaYa
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13 Jul 2014, 3:39 am

Bazinga4 wrote:
So I volunteered in a summer camp for two weeks.My friend was volunteering a week after.She went on holidays that why we didn't start camp at same time as me.This week was awful my friend was so cold towards me and only would speak to me in a group.I was able to get to know the volunteers more the week she wasn't there..We havn't text or anything.I think she thought that I wouldn't make friends in camp but i did.I think she was jealous.I didn't exclude her or say anything mean to her.I can't help it if the other volunteers want to chat to me and not her they know me a bit longer.I couldn't relax at the camp then because of this and might have damaged new friendships I made in camp.

I do care about her but don't know why she is behaving this way.I did ask if everything was okay with me and her and she said yes.My sister said just wait for a while and things will be fine.Its just frustrating when a friend is not speaking to u and u don't know why :(

Any thoughts? :cry:


all the suggestions so far are good, i just want to add in not to neglect any other friends while worrying about this one. It is especially easy for any AS to get so caught up with one friend they become blind to all the others



Summer_Twilight
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13 Jul 2014, 9:57 pm

WaYa wrote:
Bazinga4 wrote:
So I volunteered in a summer camp for two weeks.My friend was volunteering a week after.She went on holidays that why we didn't start camp at same time as me.This week was awful my friend was so cold towards me and only would speak to me in a group.I was able to get to know the volunteers more the week she wasn't there..We havn't text or anything.I think she thought that I wouldn't make friends in camp but i did.I think she was jealous.I didn't exclude her or say anything mean to her.I can't help it if the other volunteers want to chat to me and not her they know me a bit longer.I couldn't relax at the camp then because of this and might have damaged new friendships I made in camp.

I do care about her but don't know why she is behaving this way.I did ask if everything was okay with me and her and she said yes.My sister said just wait for a while and things will be fine.Its just frustrating when a friend is not speaking to u and u don't know why :(

Any thoughts? :cry:


all the suggestions so far are good, i just want to add in not to neglect any other friends while worrying about this one. It is especially easy for any AS to get so caught up with one friend they become blind to all the others


That is so true.