Is it normal to want to hit people that are mean to you?

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Lately there are certain people who are mean toward me. They say mean things to me and tell me all I do is use my Autism as an excuse to do and say stupid things. When this happens I want to hit them. I continue to want to do this for days and sometimes weeks after they have yelled at me. When someone yells at me I can't stop thinking about it. For instance, a co-worker yelled at me on Thursday and I can't stop thinking about it. I want to hit her so bad. When she yells at me I do not know what to say back to her.

I have felt that way and far far worse.

Happens to the best of us

I've felt that way in the past.

oh yes. all kinds of violent things seem to come to mind when i'm angered by someone, hitting, ripping hair out, and worse...
it only happens in the moment immediately after, one or two days pass and i completely forget about the incident and stop caring.
and i understand whet you mean about not knowing what to say back to her. it really sucks being at the receiving end of verbal abuse and not being able to retort and defend yourself. just infuriating.

It's totally normal. I feel that way sometimes and I think of doing far worse things than just hitting people. And I think of hurting people that I haven't seen or spoken to in years when I think of the things they did to me. Thinking about hurting someone doesn't mean you will ever do it. It just means that you feel hurt and angry and you don't know what to do about it.

When I was a kid hitting was my normal response to people insulting me or trying to bully me. By the age of 16 pretty much nobody dared to insult/bully me as I'd grown into a sizeable young man. I tended to still get in some fights after school when I went through my biker phase (6'1" of muscle and aggression) but after a while calmed down and nowadays (aged 53) I'm meek and mild and wouldn't hit anyone (unless they hit me first). I still get stuck for words though if people are unreasonable towards me but nowadays I turn around and walk away... the alternative isn't worth considering. Occasionally I'd like to let go and release the rage and punch someone or start smashing things but it isn't the appropriate adult way of behaving; so I turn around, walk away and calm down.

It's definitely normal to want to but you have to control yourself or you can get in bad trouble for it. I want to hit people all the time when they make my misophonic trigger noises. I actually want to rip their faces off and gouge their eyes out. Of course I don't actually do that though.

Depends on the underlying cause.

And just to note, I don't like the word "mean". It sounds weak and pathetic.

In any case... how I respond to hostility depends on whether I believe it is rooted in malice or ignorance.

If I reckon someone is having a go at me because they want to annoy me, because they hate me, or just because they feel like being a dick ..... funnily enough I don't tend to mind. The old don't-feed-the-trolls routine. I just tend to blank out actual malicious behaviour.

BUT if someone is giving me trouble due to their own fundamental stupidity, misunderstanding, or otherwise just didn't bother to take the time to understand something and are just immediately resorting to sh***y behaviour... well, I still try not to respond, but it annoys me. I generally want to stick a knife in their throat and kill them. I don't really have an intermediary stage. "Hitting" someone has a different meaning to me. When someone annoys me, I want them dead. Immediately and permanently.
And obviously, this includes all the little things like spoking in public too close to me, speaking too loudly or in an unpleasant accent, licking a finger before turning a page in my presence, trying to pass me on my left side in the street. A whole collection of things the average person doesn't even think of nor recognise as "a thing" are sufficient for me to want them dead.



So yeah. Short version : Malice is forgiveable. Ignorance is not.

What other word would you suggest rather then using the word "mean" to describe a pathetic empath. I know I find it hard to empathize with others but NT's are suppose to be able to but much of the time seem to lack empathy more then I do.

And just to note, I don't like the word "dick" I think there less vulgar words to use.

No, I don't feel the urge to hit anyone.

I'm surrounded by some quite aggressive people in my day to day life but they're not aggressive towards me so I just let it all wash right over me.

I just like being peaceful really.

Things were different when I was younger. I couldn't express myself verbally (still can't) so I just used to fight everyone.

I got my head kicked in a few times and so learned to manage in different ways.

one of the reasons I am a hermit is because I hate having to leave the house, having to deal with the idiots on the roadways who seem determined to hog the roads anyway they can.

Same here. The temptation to do such a thing to people is very strong with me.

@ Everyone Who Feels The Same: The best thing you can do is to not give in.

It's completely normal. If I had a quarter for every as*hole I've wanted to punch in the face, I'd be f*****g rich. The key is just not to do it, as you'll likely end up with criminal charges if you do, and nobody wants that!