Kyuubi wrote:
I love her to death and her personality is very much a 9/10. but there are a few problems. She is NOT good looking. Her hair does not suit her face AT ALL and she is quite overweight and it's just not sexy at all. I like girls with long and straight hair. (
Fair enough. Point taken. But think about the following.
1. Is she your first girlfriend?
2. How difficult was it for you to find her and/or get her to like you?
3. If you break up with her, how long will it take you to find another girlfriend, if at all?
4. Are you good at meeting and talking to women in general?
5. Do your friends even care that your girlfriend is, as you put it, "unattractive"?
First of all, for most aspie men, myself including, their first girlfriend is oftentimes not their dream girl and almost certainly not a supermodel. (Stereotypically hot girls usually go for charming, good-looking NT guys.) If it took you a lot of effort to find this girl, it'll probably take you a long time to find your next girlfriend too. You'd be letting go of a sure thing in favor of vague hope for someone better, who may not come at all. That's a stupid mistake to make. Also, if you usually have trouble meeting girls, your friends should be happy for you no matter who you date. If they give you a hard time over it, just tune it out. Then stop hanging out with them if their teasing, good-natured or not, starts to cross the line.
You're 17. Chances are, you won't be marrying this girl. Most teenage relationships end in a break-up, or simply run their course as both parties get older. Enjoy this relationship you have, first one or not. Heck, you're doing better than I did: I found my first girlfriend at age 18, in college, and she was also someone I didn't find attractive. I'd sell my soul to have had a girlfriend in high school; attractive or not, I couldn't care less. Now that I think about it, not having had a girlfriend in high school---when hormones run wild, feelings run high, and those who get dates all learn from each other---pretty much destroyed my ability to have any kind of romantic feelings for women. I still date them, kiss them, and get intimate with them, but it's all mechanical: at 18, and at 31.
There's a well-known Russian saying: "The worst enemy of something good, is something better". In other words, you will lose the good (or good enough) relationship you already have while in pursuit of a better one, which you might not find at all.