Handling a Problem customer/ I never know it when I'm Right

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So I accidentally sent an a document to the wrong person, normal/typical mistake right?. I straightened it out and had one resent to the right person. However the person I sent it to has no idea she does;nt have access to the account she is trying to change. I didn't really think of it until today although most of this happened two days ago but she has been e-mail harassing me so I sent it again anyway. An angry person who is wrong and won't admit is much harder to deal with. So I just resent the document to her and Im going to wait until she realizes when she tries to make the change herself, which she would have to do, finally realizes she can't do anything. I prefer to do that instead of telling her why it's not possible to get what she wants exactly done. I think that is the only way this person is going to realize that she is and was wrong. I just hope if she calls I get her call instead of my superiors so they don't have to deal with it.


The morale of the lesson is because i am ASD, going through my whole life being told I'm wrong about everything when it came to my behavior. Because I am incapable of understanding how to understand the unspoken rule within a rule, I almost automatically defer to the angry person who says he or she is right. The first reason is because I sort of assume they are right since I have always been told by my family what I did was wrong and my siblings and family would get so irate that I would just shut down. That is the lasting damage my parents and siblings have wrought on me through my early years. I assume everyone but me is right and when I am right I assume I am wrong and I have no confidence in my decisions and I can't confront people well. It also has hurt me in the work place because my bosses think they need to hold my hand every step. I am doing the right thing but I always have to double check constantly and it makes me look stupid. I can't deal with angry people because I just shut down and lose all train of thought or any ability to think through the situation.

Last edited by Mitrovah on 18 Jul 2014, 5:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

See, this is why I come here... I know exactly what you're describing. I've experienced it way too many times (between family and work).


Oh and I dunno about the gender thing, I've seen plenty of crazy requests from both genders.

I know what you are talking about, I have the same problem. Being different and not knowing why made me always doubt. Its only months that I know it wasnt me not trying enough. Additionally I always think that I did something wrong because I cant trust myself when it comes to remember names (or faces). If someone complaines about an issue I always feel guilty. I am a complete failure on the telephone, so I avoid taking customer calls but I have to write an answer email when I made a fix. I try to document everything, that helps little. I check, check again and let someone confirm before I email. It makes me feel stupid but otherwise I would be busy all day wondering, it would fill my head completely. My colleagues dont mind, they are awesome. I make it up by being the fastest problem solver. Its only person related, I dont have problems distinguish projects.

A problem appears to me is that customers think that IT projects involve magic so they just have to express a wish. I often tried to explain why it is technically impossible, but they dont seem to be interested in the details and its only exhausting me. Both genders almost alike but I have to admit that woman often are more disappointed that I am not a fairy and they seem eager to make me _really_ understand that they are disappointed.

Something of the same order happened. today, i didn't piss off a customer but I had to call my boss for a little help. In Hindsight it was right in front of me had I taken an extra moment and thought about it I could have resolved it without the help. It didn't help my meds were wearing off and I was starting to "lose my grip" as it were.

But because I have always been told by my family, since I was born, everything I do is wrong when I make an independent decision, I am too afraid to make the call. Real example: brother and father ask me to order a pizza and let me decide what to get for everyone. Bought a vegetarian pizza because my dad had heart attack a year or so ago, I thought a veggie pizza would be best.

When we started eating all my brother did was complain that he didn't like the pizza and essentially criticized me for my choice. He never stopped talking about, with a hushed voice and mocking smile he belittled me the whole night for it and said I could have made the better choice. I was just a hair trigger away from blowing up at him, but I didn't. I didn't explain my choice was considering my dad's heart but it wouldn't have mattered.


In hindsight my f*****g family did alot of damage to myself esteem and confidence.

been there, done that, got that tshirt.

My Mom doesn't live that far away and always complains about not seeing my kids. Well, I work fulltime and she does not (she's still young and mobile and has a car, so she's no excuses for not visiting while I work)... BUT, at the same time, when we do go over for family stuff, all she does is exhaust me and criticize my oldest son for the same things she used to criticize me for.
I'm better now at hiding the things she doesn't like about me (I've learned to make brainless smalltalk, etc which makes her think I've become more 'open' and I bite back corrective facts/statistics instead of blurting them out like I used to, force myself to smile for no reason, etc), but, I'll be darned if all of the old 'dumb kid who can't do anything right' feelings don't come hurtling back when I hear her having a go at my boy for being himself. I won't tolerate it, for his sake.

I try real hard to make my home a safe haven for my kids, not someplace they dread being or where they are made uncomfortable.