people not on the spectrum

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It has been a while since I posted here.

Just looking at the NT world there are lots of people unemployed depressed.

There are countless failed relationships drug and alcohol abuse.

Domestic violence and criminal behaviour.

Being on the spectrum is not the worst thing really?

I am not stating the above as proven fact I am just posting what has been mulling through my mind for the last week or so.

I don't mean this to sound cold but I have meet lots of people not on the spectrum that I would not want to swap lives with in a million years.

yeah, although I don't think its really just about whether you are on the spectrum or not, one thing to remember is that their are always people better of or worse of than you.

That is why I am starting to understand I should be thankful for the good in my life.

Spectrum or not on the spectrum, life can be difficult for anyone, yes, but comparing lives, comparing pain, isn't actually helpful. I always think of it this way: it's as useless as pointing out to the person who just lost a limb that they should be grateful and suck it up because you know of someone who just lost two limbs. They still lost a limb. How bad do things have to be until someone tells someone "Yes, that really does suck for you" and leave it at that, instead of trying to tell them it could be worse. Bad is bad enough. Don't invalidate the pain of another person by pointing out some other level of pain. Pain is pain.

Everyone has challenges. Not a single person on this earth grows to adulthood without challenges. Whether they are intellectual or emotional or mental or physical no one escapes that reality of life. I don't think it's good to say this group has it harder than that group. We are all individuals, NT or not or whatever we are and we each have our crosses to bear and our difficulties to work through.

This is how I think too. It reminds me of this quote I once read:

'Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like saying someone can't be happy because others have it better.'

That's a great saying Norny......can't/shouldn't be happy because others have it better......that really makes the point well.

Unfortunately humans are not limited to one problem

Many of those things affect autistic people more often than neurotypical people.

But yeah, autism alone isn't that bad. Just living in a country that can diagnose autism gives you a serious leg up over lots of people.

I was reading in detail what life was like for the real poor in the third world my Autism would be the least of my problems if I was born into that kind of life.

Totally agree with this.... and the whole "Well, someone else has it worse than you" etc is called invalidation... which helps no one at all. I think that we just have to work with the life we have. I mean, you can't really help the childhood you had but you can help who you are as an adult. For example, I could be like my mother and be a drug/ alcohol addicted.. but I have seen how that hurts others and yourself.. so I choose to face everyday sober/ with open eyes... and take everyday as it comes. There will always be someone who is worse off than you. We all have our own battles.

My wife often advises me to focus on the positives and not dwell on the negatives. Whenever I am down or thinking negative thoughts, she suggests writing down a list of "appreciations". It helps.

You got what I was thinking even if I did not explain it very well.

I don't get it, it seems people on the spectrum also experience those things...

And what good does remembering that do exactly? I mean it would do me just as much good to remember some flowers are purple and some are blue or any other random observations one could make.

The whole point is we feel we don't fit in or at least I do not fit it.

Many of us have this idea the grass is greener on the other side in a lot of cases it's not.

Exactly, basically it does people no good in comparing yourself to others because you will never be happy that way, you will just end up bitter.

its not just people on the spectrum either, any person will just become bitter if they spend their time comparing themselves to people they perceive as having a better life.

So it is important to remember that, especially when you do not fit in with the majority