What are you looking for in a man?

Post Reply New Topic

I am curious, what do you ladies look for in a man *primarily heterosexual and bisexual women* Do you seek confidence, a man who is responsible and doesn't beat around the bush? A man who is mature and serious all the time? A man who just respects you and acknowledges you for you? I would like to see your imput although I am an aspie and 90% of the responses will be from aspies, I always like to learn something new for sure as everyone has different preferences and tastes and such.

I like people who are quiet, intelligent, and have good character. I prefer people who are a little set apart from society like myself.

I'm fussy about someone's views on things like women, long-term relationships, people in poverty, animals, children, etc. Just want to make sure I don't wind up with someone who turns their nose up at the suffering, views their children as little more than a drain on resources, and is bemoaning the day I become "used-up". Reading how people really feel on the Internet and experiencing the world hasn't done much for my faith in others.

When I'm going about my day and see men with small children, I instantly trust and like them a little more. I guess it's a reassurance that, in a very cruel and selfish world, they're capable of loving and attending to small, loud, mostly helpless things and being loved in return. Unfortunately, they're probably already accounted for and I'm nowhere near ready to be a mother.

Deleted.

I think a little shyness is cute.

Me.

But in all seriousness:

Looks - gotta be my type. Let's face it, the first thing we're attracted to about someone is their appearance.
Age - An important criteria for me. I'm attracted to certain age ranges, outside of those numbers, forget it.
Personality - very important. There are plenty of good looking guys I could never date because their personality just doesn't work for me.
Intelligence - I couldn't date someone I thought wasn't very bright. Big turnoff.
Health/fitness - I couldn't be with someone who didn't take care of themselves.
Hygiene - again, gotta take care of themselves.
Sense of humour - doesn't have to necessarily be the same as mine, but must exist vs. being dry and boring.
Sense of adventure - I like trying new things and would want to be with someone like minded.
Continuous improvement - Someone who doesn't settle or be complacent in life. There's always better to strive for in health/wealth/knowledge/skills etc. Learning & growing, changing and improving etc are definitely attractive qualities.
Love - Probably the most important.. but w/ whoever I end up with long term, there's gotta be reciprocal love shown in actions/words etc in order for there to truly be a relationship worth either of us having.

Alternatively, I could just post the name and pic of my long term crush.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Aside from looking taken care of not being completely fugly, I decided there are four things. I used to have huge lists of things, now I don't anymore.

The three four are:
1. I need to be able to be myself around a guy. This means he shouldn't judge me for my quircks and slight awkwardness. I need to feel at easy. I want a man that accepts it that I don't speak every minute when together.
2. He needs to be a calm, reasonable person. This is because I can get pretty heated and angry sometimes where I only see my own, and I want someone that can calm me down and relative with me.
3. He needs to take initiatives sometimes. I don't want the kind of guy that only wants to play games and sit on the couch with me every day. I want to go to the beach, to dinner, make a long train trip, etc.
4. Obviously there has to be something that binds us together. Be it the same sense of humor, or common interests. We can't keep each other busy with sex all the time. In short: there has to be a connection.

I'm curious myself.

You know I hear women all the time give answers like; intelligent, nice, charming, ETC ETC. But in real life what I actually see, this is not the case. So something is just not Adding up.

So tell us what you REALLY want.

These are the things that I really must have in a male romantic partner:

1. Must be wicked intelligent.
2. Must have a steady temper.
3. Must have an offbeat sense of humor to match mine.
4. Must be willing (and able) to be utterly at ease (i.e., be himself) with me, as well as allowing me to be myself in his presence.
5. There must be physical chemistry between us. This is truly about chemistry - pheromones - not about physical attractiveness.
6. We must be mostly philosophically aligned - religion, ethics, politics, etc. 100% match is not necessary, but agreement on some crucial (to me) issues is.
7. It would be ideal to share one or more common interests.

^ Honestly, I have never seen any sense of humour coming from you lol; where is that offbeat humor you talk about?

What I mean by offbeat is that very few people get it. You're clearly not one of the few.

Probably so.....subtle wordplay is a big part of it. Non-native English speakers are at a distinct disadvantage for picking up on that, as are people who do not have a large vocabulary.

Any out there after shy but spontaneously hyper and curious geeky types?

For me it's important that there's not too many things we disagree on. I'd like my partner to be more on my wavelength. My partner is often judgemental about people who's situations he has no idea about. He says they bring it on themselves when my opinion is that they're victims of circumstances. Also we don't share many common interests which is a problem.

In answer to the question I would ideally like a man who is similar to me and with similar ideas and interests. The more like me he was the better it would work. I also need to be loved and be his number one priority. I refuse to take second place to somebody's mother and have ditched a boyfriend in the past for this reason. There also has to be some physical attraction

ambitious, intelligent, confident and sociable, attractive (And trust me I'm not talking about having model looks - they just have to do it for me), tall, not grossly obese or too thin.

Now that the superficial is out of the way, they have to click with me.