Hello from South Wales

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Hello

Not sure how to start. Is it nature or nurture

Quiet and shy child awkward around people certainly not demonstrative but then neither were my parents

My father was definately not normal - extreme moods swings, obsessive tendancies, the slept in his car for weeks after it was broken into. Trashed the kitchen on a daily basis just before I moved out - he pulled things out of the bin and left them on surfaces. WOuldn't speak for weeks. Everyone walked on eggshells around him. He could be charming but preferred animals

Me now - I have to remember to ask people about themselves I see myself as self contained as I have always looked after myself. My preferred view I suppose. I still take things literally which in retrospect were probably not meant like that not as bad as I was but it still happens. Once I get a bee in my bonnet about someone I can't let it go for ages, I think some people think I am hiding soem hidden crush in a couple of cases but it just isn't so. I have never got the hang of clothes. Whatever job I am doing I am oblivious to the politics and have had one manager basically ban me from certain meetings with certian levels of people as I dont understand why telling the truth is a bad thin,g brillaint manager by the way he was patient with my tendacies to spout whtever I was thinking and had to tell me to let him finish a lot but always calmly so I took it that way. Tolerant of my little quirks

Untidy to the point where I am scared everytime someone knocks the door. I just don't see the mess but I am being entirely truthful when I say it is shocking. I do go out and socialise sometimes but I am always nervous to the point of feeling sick before I go - that is for just about any social occassion - even my cycling club.

I have a few long term close friends but I think I am not very good at maintaining friendships I just don't think about it very often. I am actually OK with alot of new people and general chatting although I do have to concentrate on the not being one sided bit.

I have had relationships and certainally I am not asexual and nowadays I enjoy hugs but that french/chelsea cheek kissing makes me squirm and I work in an industry where a few french customs have been embraced.

I contract as a job which suits me well as I really con't cope with boredom I can manage a couple of years in a varioed environment but if it isn't varied I am looking to go in 6 - 12 months which is OK in my industry.

I am not brilliant with money - might be an issue as I have just started my own ltd company but the accountant is good and will do alot of it for me. I have had a large amount of debt in the past but I am getting better and I am earning quite well at the moment.

I can never sleep I can't get my mind to calm down - chronic insomnia for over 20 years now

Oh and I scored 135 on the RAAD thing My emotional intelligence is apparently around about 40 - haven't done any others yet. I couldn't say I lack empathy there are situations where I have had to leave rooms because the vibe so to speak felt so appressive, funerals I can't deal with and when we had a new product take its first flight (yes I am in aerospace) I got quite choked despite the fact I wasn't involved in the engineering side of it which had been the most intense bit for the 2 years prior. SOme people tellme that I am very perceptive at looking through/into people

Bit disjointed but there it is

Nature or nurture

I read the aspie girl thing and thought woah thats me

Welcome


I'm glad you're here, now ("signed in"/ a member), because I think, from how you've described yourself, you'll find lots of people, here, who are similar to you; I think you'll make similar-personality friends To me, it sounds like you're on "The Spectrum", but I'm new to all of this, too!

That's great that you've found a rewarding and mostly suitable job.

I'm sorry that your childhood had some...difficulties.

It sounds like you've overcome a great deal!

And, I totally understand your "too honest" difficulties. (For
some reason, that is the term NTs [neuro-typicals] use. I simply call it "honesty".)

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP from New South Wales . . . . .Australia

Make yourself at home here!

A bit late but thanks for the welcome. I have a lot going on with a sibling who is a compulsive liar

I finally broached the subject of Aspergers with a GP

Reply was its not a good idea to go for diagnosis at my age as he says people get worse if they are aware that something is wrong. I am not wrong just a bit different in some ways. The statement that made him agree Aspergers might be an issue was one where I said as soon as I can cut ties with my sibling I won't look back he said that is Aspie - it isn't I know plenty of people without Aspie tendancies that have happily walked away from family

I have referral for metal health services primarily because I told him I wanted CBT to learn to quiet my mind down so I can sleep. I will ask for assessment for Aspergers once I am in the system.

I have a new contract with really bad politicsg going on so I will look to move on I won't last long because I have a boss who only looks after his own interests and that goes strongly against my focus on doing the best for my project. Everyone dislikes him but follows like sheep I can't do that I just can't

Hello I'm new to this website to and I'm also from south Wales.
Hmm perhaps it is in the family, they say autism is most likely to be genetic from what I've seen online. Are you formally diagnosed?

I have the same problem with not getting office politics but I don't worry too much about stuff like that. My view is I try my best and people must accept me as I am, if they don't them that's their problem lol

I differ to you in that I'm asexual but that's not to say I can't fall in love. I've had boyfriends before and I adored them.

I've had so many jobs. Usually I've been let go or I left because I have trouble with doing more than one thing at a time and remembering sequences.

Recently I did a job at door to door sales for commission I was hoping it would teach me to be great with people. It did help me but it never made me good and I didn't make enough money to make ends meet. It's a shame because it was good fun and I loved it even though I wasn't very good at getting sales. I like a challenge though.

Hi Starfox

I have in the past done door to door stuff but it was research and campaign work for councils and recycling. I enjoyed it but got a bit of a reputation (not a seriously bad one) as I spent longer talking to people than anyone else. I struggle to escape from chatty people but then sometimes don't get that its long past the point when I should have recognised that people are bored and shut up

Ah that's cool. Perhaps with practice you will improve and be able to work out when people are getting bored or not. I had the problem of not being able to talk about anything other than the reason I'm there. I was always being told to relate to the customer and chat to them about everyday stuff as well. I'm not very much into small talk. Then i was told i am too blunt and not tactful when asking them questions. Lol oops. What I liked most was getting to see more areas and walking around each day. I like walking and I like exploring.

I think we all get better as e get older its just Aspies take longer to get better at some things. But then so do many NTs we aren't so different and I get told I am too blunt as well sometimes. I am good in small groups at small talk but get quieter as group size increases. I can't deal with big social occassions unless there are a couple of people I know I can latch onto

I enjoyed the being out and about as well and it has proved to be useful as I search for somewhere new to live as I know areas I would not have found if I hadn't done those jobs

I tend to disagree. I was around your age when I got diagnosed and finally accepted it and it's been the best thing ever for me. It's helped me understand why I am how I am and helped explain a lot of stuff that's gone on in my life.

I'm now very proud to be an Aspie and wouldn't change it for the world. My diagnosis has helped me find where I fit in in life. I've finally found my own kind where I fit in and am accepted for the true me. Not shunned like I've been for years by NT's.

Of course, each to their own.

I think whoever said that made a rather large, sweeping generalising and was very unprofessional and wrong for even suggesting anything to you. It's purely your decision.

No opinion is wrong lol. It's an opinion.

"Opinions are like as*holes. Everybody's got one."
-Dirty Harry

I'm not saying they were wrong in having an opinion. I'm saying it's wrong to give it to others especially in such a tender, delicate, important, PERSONAL decision to be made. It's not their place to try and sway anyone in any way with their opinion.

Ah yeah I see what you mean.

That quote made me laugh

I'm just diagnosed at 58 and happy about it.

Welcome

Just discovered stuff about palilalia - I do that

In all sorts of conversation I repeat a sentence normally no more than three times. I am increasingly aware that I am doing it these days but can't seem to stop once I have started the repetition.

I am going to try and get a referral again. I want help with my sleep issues. But I won't accept a mental health referral on the basis I doubt they have much experience with Adult Aspergers especially with women. I also don't believe I suffer from depression.

I have discovered meetup in the UK and I am getting out and doing a lot more stuff and find I am not so anxious setting out for a new social occasion