Words making me feel ill

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I have a strange obsessive thing and I wondered if it was to do with Asperger's or was just a weird quirk of mine. I was only diagnosed this year but I've had this problem since I was about 10.

I think in words but I have real problems with certain words. It makes me feel sick if I have to say them or write them and sometimes looking at them can make me feel ill. I can't write the words down here because it would make me feel ill and I wouldn't want people to associate me with the words, so that makes it harder to explain, but they are certain combinations of letters I don't like or are related to a certain thing I find very ugly (and which itself makes me feel ill).

I would like to write a book but it will be hard if I have to avoid these words as some of them are very common.

I've never actually told anyone about this as it would mean mentioning the words.

Could this be an Aspie thing?

I think I might have something like this, although maybe not to the same extent as you.

I don't know about it being an Aspie thing, but it could be a sign that you'll be a good writer!
Good writers are very choosy about the words that they use. I did a lot of writing in college- I was a Creative Writing major actually. I would get obsessive about finding the right words. I mostly wrote poetry. Fewer words, so every one seemed even more important.


Other than that, I do have a strong distaste for the word "pancake". It kind of makes me squirm. I don't know why. But, obviously, I can write it and say it and it is just one word.

Your description sounds a little like synesthesia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia where Wikipedia.org describes it as "a neurological phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway." It appears http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3856394 that synesthesia is co-occurant with Asperger's Syndrome.

I agree that it sounds like it could be synesthesia. In my experience it seems that a lot of people with ASD have synesthesia as well. I have a few different types and one of them is that everything has a gender and personality. Although it does it doesn't make me physically ill, I cannot stand it when people do things like write the digit 4, which is male, in orange, which is female.

It makes sense that synesthesia and autism could be related because both have to do with differences in the way the brain is "wired." Synesthesia, if I remember correctly, happens because parts of the brain are connected that are not normally linked together by neuronal pathways.

off-topic but 4 is purple and female for me, and orange is male

This is definitely an Aspie thing. My entire family is diagnosed, it's not as bad for them (In this case) but for me there are certain words I can't say, think or write. They make me feel incredibly nauseous, and sick, they revolt me, and anyone else saying them bothers me a lot.

Unfortunately, I can't tell you what the words are, as I can't do it without feeling sick and awful, but they are fairly mundane, and you can hear them everywhere.

It's really irritating.

Ditto on the synesthesia idea. Maybe those words trigger discomfort because the things you immediately associate them with are uncomfortable for you to think about.

Which makes me wonder why, when I look at surfaces that are bumpy in certain specific ways, I feel a sense of wrongness--almost like they're Lovecraftian alien geometry instead of simply bumps. I bet it's something similar, a nearby idea getting triggered along with certain textures.

There are other surfaces that look comfortable and yet others that look "sharp" or "sticky" even though they are neither sharp nor sticky. Visual-touch synesthesia, or just associations drawn from long experience with tactile sensitivity? Who knows.

Thank you for all the replies, I had never considered synesthasia, interesting. The words give me a funny taste in my mouth that can make me feel nauseous - a sort of ashy taste.

Some of the words are associated with a thing I find distasteful because of its shape (can't write down what it is) but there an everyday thing and there's a lot of them around - that's where it started really. Why I started finding this thing distasteful, I have no idea - I wish I didn't and I wonder if I can ever change it. I doubt it.



Yes exactly that's what it's like. Some are mundane words that are around everywhere. Sometimes it's the combination of letters, there's a shop with a Scandinavian name near me which is just horrible!

Callista, this reminds me of trypophobia, although not exactly the same thing. Having heard of it before, I googled it and found this article. I thought to myself, this is going to be a great read. Then, the first sentence ended with the word "pancake". If you'll read above, you'll understand. Somehow, today I was able to get past it. They theorized that trypophobia might have something to do with early man's adaptive aversion to sores. Maybe your fear of bumps has to do with a less well preserved adaption to avoid bumpy diseases like poxes and dermititis. Just a thought...

http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... -of-holes/

Hey, I know you wrote this 10 years ago but I've just now seen it and it is the most relatable thing I have ever read, literally every word of it. I'm 16 and also trying to write stuff and I'm worried that my problem will get in the way of it. I was searching all over the internet for someone who understands it and you are literally the only person I could find who gets it. I physically cannot get myself to say or write these words without feeling sick and it's a bloody nightmare.

I only came here to ask if it ever gets better. Does it get better? I really need to know if I'm fighting this forever but I can imagine you abandoned your account years ago and will never see this. (This website seems pretty dead anyway. I'd never heard of it until this post.) Does it get better?

The words, ladies and girls make me cringe. They always have and they always will.

Hey, I am sorry you are going through this. I can imagine it does not feel good. So you associate unhealthy meaning to those words and since you are on the spectrum, you feel that "disgust" or whatever feeling deep inside you, right?

There are a couple of things you can do. Maybe seek a psychologist specializing in PTSD therapy (post traumatic stress disorder) because it sounds like those words are a trigger of past trauma.

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/wha ... d-triggers

Another option is exposure and response prevention therapy (this is the standard treatment used for OCD), gradually exposing yourself on these words, and " practicing confronting the thoughts, images, objects, and situations that make you anxious and/or provoke your obsessions".You will eventually not feel triggered and you might be able to associate her with another, healthier meaning.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-con ... c-20354432
These specific words, if they are obsessive, no matter how painful they might be, may be repeated inside your mind, to give some kind of comfort and reassurance.

Wish I could help more.

You can recover from this. Start by believing it. Seek professional help
And it will get better

"Squash" just doesn't seem like a word that should exist, to me. It just sounds wrong and is very hard for me to say.

"Women" is a word I couldn't use until recently. It's not said the way it's spelt.