How is your marriage going?

Post Reply New Topic

I am married to a man with Asperger for 16 years. I am NT woman. We do have young children.
Would like to hear from other married people, where Asperger is present.

What a challenge!

How is it going for you ?

I'm a man with Asperger's married to an NT woman, we have a beautiful child with PDD-NOS, and despite not having a pot to urinate in, we're very happy. I actually became aware of my own high functioning autism only a few years ago, when my daughter had been diagnosed, and upon recognizing the symptoms in myself - particularly back when I was a kid - I got an official diagnosis myself not long later. My point being, my wife and I were happily married before I even realized I was an Aspie, and are still happy since learning this fact. It just explains my oddball behavior to my wife.

Thanks for sharing! It is encouraging to hear that some marriages between Asperger and NT are working out.
In our case, it is so difficult, that I started to suspect that my husband has more than just Asperger.

From all I can tell, there are not too many married Aspies on this forum at all. Looks like most of them are single.

Absolutely!
To be perfectly honest with you, until I met my wife, I had been living in dissolute loneliness, or towards the end, I had been involved with a young woman with Borderline Personality Disorder who was able to sniff out how I was starved I was for human love and affection, and so took advantage of me, all the while cheating on me. Were it not for a friend who had set me up with my future wife, I would have been alone and terribly despondent - maybe even dead or insane. Trust me, I thank the Lord in heaven for giving me my mate.

Married for almost ten years, and going well. I think we're both working on emotional communication, but we both are committed and invested in each other. I always worry about losing him... not to someone else but to time. I wonder who will go first, and how the other would cope.

Probably not the answer you're looking for, but it weighs on me sometimes.

badly.

I am the diagnosed aspie in my 16 yr marriage. No kids. We are fairly well except for overworking. I suspect he may be on the spectrum too. Sex is my biggest disappointment. He is not interested and I am.

Aspie man, NT Wife.
Second time around, it is going ok so far, has had and will have it's moments. I do feel better about this marriage than the first which was a disaster from the start. We met got married and had kids all too quickly and that was a huge mistake because we were not right for each other at the start and by the time we realized it was too late.

MUCH better since the divorce!

Aspie man, NT wife, married 28 years. Two kids, one probably has mild case of Aspergers like me though he doesn't know. He is in the military now and doing fine. Military was my career too. Actually my wife was in the military too. But she only did 5 years and is now a special ed teacher. Daughter also grown and on her own.

Its been very good in some ways and difficult in others. Much has improved since we figured out I had Aspergers. Up till then my wife was likely to ascribe certain of my behaviors to selfishness. We always did try to communicate and talk things out, but certain things are kind of beyond that, which where learning about each others nature and increasingly our understanding helped. But just understanding is not enough at times and action must be added. So I for instance, must be willing to do things out of my comfort zone for her, and she has had to learn to allow me certain space and time and not ascribe it to negative motivation.

Hello everyone - Aspies and NT's
Have to admit that I rarely here, but once in a while I show up, and read.

Re-read this thread again... Was nice to be reminded that there are marriages that do work, with Aspie&NT couples.

I wish you all who tries - continue on. You'll be happier, and your spouse too !

As about our situation - it's the same, even worst, in some regard.
Being crazy woman that I am, I just do not want to destroy the family boat. There is 5 children in it...
Yes, we have 5 children! Don't know if I mentioned before. They are ages 17 down to 8 yrs old.

Have a good day, wish you many blessings, and not to give up !

I'm an NT wife. After reading extensively this past week, I'm thinking my husband of 3.5 years is Aspie. It's a remarriage for us both; we were both widowed. My husband's first wife had pretty bad depression; her back pain caused her to be in bed a lot. They raised two children. I suspect that her depression actually worked well for my husband.

I had actually been thinking I'd lose my mind. My husband says he loves me (once in awhile), but there is rarely any expression that could be interpreted as love. As I've read this week, my emotions have been all over the place as I see explanations for his behavior/lack of behavior, for his lack of communication, for the sometimes hurtful things he says when he's not angry, and for the extreme angry outbursts he has occasionally. There's some relief in believing there might be an explanation, but I'm struggling with the knowledge that there's little chance of much changing.

I'd like to know how other NT wives deal with the lack of intimate verbal connection.

Thanks.

aspie female here married to NT male. 7 yr. anniv. tomorrow. no kids. he says it's been wonderful and i think so, too. he wishes i'd smile more.