What do you consider attractive in a potential partner?

Post Reply New Topic

For me, the only "requirements" I truly need to find someone even mildly attractive are that they are kind, rational, intelligent, and with an active motivation to help themselves and the world they live in. Smelling good+proper hygiene are extreme pluses/basically necessary, and they need to be emotionally stable to the point where they're "their own person" and don't feel "incomplete" or horribly wrong when on their own. AKA, personal independence and freedom of thought are super cool. I'd prefer it if they were also interested in the same fields I am, but just as long as they have a passion for something seemingly of positive use in the world, then that's cool as well. Being somewhat physically attractive is also nice, but since I'm only really interested in their brain+mental qualities, just as long as they take care of their mind and body they can look however they want, for the most part.
Being overly judgmental or not willing to understand (in a broad sense) are 100% turn offs, and I wont associate with cruel, emotionally rigid, irrational, or negative people just on the basis that why on earth would I even bother with that? It just seems pointless and harmful to all involved.
Shy guys (totally not a Mario ref I swear) are sometimes very attractive to me, and I find that many "typical" AS traits are something I could feasibly look for in a partner. There are probably a few other things to list (ooh, selective. haha), but these appear to be the most important, to me. I've found that figuring these things out is very conducive to the "dating" and "personal growth" processes!

If one wanted a well known real-life example, I suppose that I'd consider Alex Plank to be wildly attractive. Then again, I would hope we'd all find him to be remarkably bodacious

Even though I've only dated one person for about 4 months back in 2012, I feel I have a pretty good grasp on what I look for.

A very important thing for me is that they are a kind, caring, understanding, and intelligent on the inside. That is where I find true beauty in women. How they look on the outside is an added bonus. I also like it if they are good students and I would like to have known them for some time before I even consider taking it to the next level.

The most important thing for me though is that I have to feel comfortable talking with them. Even though I'm not one to talk up a storm (except when it is in something I'm knowledgeable in ) but I feel a lot more comfortable talking with people I know won't judge me if I say or do something that is a bit awkward.

My main requirements would be for them to be kind, understanding of me as an Aspie, honest, trustworthy, not homophobic/judgmental, and of course cute. Bonuses for me would be tattoos, liking of video games/anime, lover of Supernatural and Hannibal!

I don't make a mental note of these things anymore, which probably keeps me from being too unhinged, but as I hardly ever examine someone's merits before going ahead with liking the idea of them, these are less "requirements" and more "attractions" that I'm trying to register when I consider why I get vaguely into certain women.

Shared interest definitely helps considering it's quite niche say, to be a mildly competitive runner or into shoegaze/experimental music. My eyes bulge out a bit if a lass sits down alongside with me with a decent pint, or exhibits an interest in non-league football (alright, the latter never happens). Common interest will make me want to follow what she's up to so I can find out more, and it's no bad thing if nothing more than friendship comes out of it.

Appearance definitely helps, namely decent shape and cleanliness. Looks after self. No smokers. If I can be very picky I'm often thrown overboard by round faces. They can make me crumble and I've never worked out why. I've found I can't deal with very quiet lasses who you have to work every last sentence out of, as having a lot to say is a bit of an effort for me too, and makes it tough for me to be drawn in. Happier and more outgoing folk are so much more enjoyable to have around on the whole.

Decent pastimes or even talents are very enticing too actually. Only watching TV, shopping, drinking or faffing around with mates in your spare time spells boring. Doing things for the love of it and not falling into the groupthink of contemporaries essentially guarantees someone both fascinating and genuinely intelligent.

All of those have zero value without a bit of compassion, understanding and patience though. Holding the harmlessly weird to contempt, dissociating with others over difference in opinion, being too ironic to ever be capable of speaking an honest sentence, those sorts of things are too immature for me.

Quite a few things there but ultimately the final paragraph means the most, and any of the rest would furnish that. I'd like to finish with mentioning that her having relatively few hard-set dating criteria would keep me interested and reassured too...

appearance-wise i find skinny androgynous "men" attractive. basically "men" who are gender benders that have both male and female features. i consider david bowie one of the sexiest men of all time and i've noticed that i usually find myself attracted to "men" who have that androgynous look that bowie is so famously known for. also i am an androgynous female so i think i'm drawn to other gender neutrals like myself.

personality-wise i enjoy the weird socially awkward type. if they happen to be silly and erratic, i'm even more drawn in. i enjoy a dark sense of humour, intelligence, and laid back attitude. someone who doesn't like to yell/nag all the time. they'd have to be someone who likes to show affection through physical contact. they can't be homophobic, racist, xenophobic, etc. they also can't be ignorant and intolerant of those afflicted with mental illness and developmental disorders.

if they happen to like garage rock/punk rock music and have tattoos, then i'm probably head over heels into them.

i doubt i'll meet someone matching that exact description, but hey that's what i like.

The most attractive traits to me are (in no particular order):

Sardonic wit, skilled with words.

Challenges me physically (easy to do) and mentally (not so easy to do).

Can carry on endless conversation with me on almost any topic, real or imaginary.

Likes lot of physical contact, both giving and receiving.

Is endlessly curious about the natural world as well as the human-made parts.

Understands how mechanical things work - this is one of my few natural talents, and I like people who are similarly inclined.

Is secure enough to forge his own path and not follow mainstream belief systems.

Feminine looks, a tight body, long hair, a pretty face, intriguing and innovative though patterns and kind hearted.