How do you deal with accidentally pissing people off?

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So, I keep finding myself in these awkward situations where I end up pissing everyone off.

I get into what I would consider a very polite debate with people, or answer legitimate questions aimed at me. However, it doesn't matter how simple I keep things, or direct I am. Nobody understands me. Here's an example, this is just a made-up scenario:

Someone could ask "What color is the sky?", so I say, "The sky is mostly blue during the day. But on sunrise and sunset it can vary; it might be red, orange, purple, or other colors".

It seems like every single person just reads one thing I write. Next thing I know, I've got people nitpicking the fact I said the sky is sometimes purple, and then assuming I said the sky is ALWAYS purple.

I can't resist the urge to try and correct them. It just kills me if I ignore it. So I politely correct them that no, the sky is not always purple, just sometimes.

People pick me apart again, and after 1-2 more times of trying to clarify, I snap and get sarcastic or snarky. I don't throw out insults, I just get what I would consider mildly annoyed.

Then EVERYONE gets upset and offended that I'm annoyed. Like really, really upset that I'm annoyed.

I don't get it. Is the only way to avoid this just to keep my mouth shut forever and never talk? I don't even know what to do about it when it's done and over with. It seems like everyone is expecting an apology from me, but why in the hell should I apologize? I don't feel like I've done anything wrong.

I don't think I piss people off in that way, but if I'm in a good mood I'll talk until I'm asked to shut up and when I look at them they give me the meanest look ever, and this is with my friends so I just shut up and wait for the next day

Probably not the best solution actually but I think I'll always be annoying and I'm just trying to be okay with that

I just apologise, apologise, apologise. Although that might not help, or might make me more annoying, I don't know.

I find it best to avoid meaningless conversations. Yes, that does mean I talk a lot less than I used to.

I'd probably save my colors of the sky for a conversation someone wanted to have about sunsets. That's a few steps up on the meaningful scale than "what color is the sky?"

In the most simplistic conversations, no one wants to hear your deeper explanations.

Sounds like extreme(black/white) thinking on their part. Either that or they have some sort of hearing impairment.

why apologize? -_-
who cares if they're annoyed, it's their problem!

and for a question like what color the sky is? I'd just say it's blue
you're not getting a grade for your answer

Ahe, in the made-up scenario you gave, it's the other ones who are wrong; reading things into it that isn't there. If someone says I said something I didn't say, I would correct it too, and if they have a problem with that, that's their problem. They're the ones who are mistaken. Maybe they need to learn to listen / read correctly. Your reply in the made-up scenario was a good one, and one I don't see how anyone could misunderstand. But knowing people the way I do, I'm sure they can. I would find it annoying pretty quickly.

People are really bad at listening and getting it right. Just one simple example that took place in my junior high school: A boy, S, said: "Who here hasn't seen (insert title I have forgotten) that movie?"
Several of my classmates chimed in with "I've seen it!"
S laughed and shook his head and said: "That's such a typical school answer."
He was right about that, it had happened a lot, but I was surprised that someone else noticed.
Haha, I hadn't seen the movie in question, but I kept quiet since I didn't feel like participating. So while I "should" have said so, I couldn't be bothered to.

The scenario OP gave reminds me all too well of someone I used to chat with. He'd misread me all the time, and get upset over very literally nothing. Once he even admitted that he had left soon because he thought I was being a douche to him, but when re-read the chat the next day, it looked very different. There were plenty of times when he def should have taken time off instead of arguing his lost case further. At least know what you're replying to! And of course I got pissed off when he would accuse me of stuff I didn't say, mean or imply.
/Rant end.

In OP's scenario she most certainly didn't have anything to apologize for. Who wouldn't get annoyed by that?
Some find it diplomatic to have both sides apologize. Personally I would never apologize if I didn't think I had any reason to and/or I didn't mean it. If I piss someone off accidentally like in that scenario, then quite frankly they can just be pissed off. I don't have the patience to dilly-dally with them.

Thanks for the replies everyone, some really good advice here.

I think the thing that upsets me most is that in addition to my spectrum problems, I have general anxiety, social anxiety and panic disorder. When I make people mad, for some stupid reason I get really upset that they're mad at me -- I stew on it for days and go into a panic attack because it worries me. I just don't like being on peoples' bad side. I guess it's the attention and the unwarranted(?) hate I get from them. Because I personally feel as though I haven't done anything wrong, it makes me mad that it's implied I should apologize. But it makes me sad anD upset that I'm now looked at differently or treated poorly.

Some days I deal with this stuff better, and I can just say "screw it" and not care about the situation. But some days the situation can highly affect me.

What prompted this post was that I made an annoyed response on a forum. Someone asked me specifically how something works, so I told them, in words meant for a 3-year old... you really could not miss my point. I wasn't talking down to the person, I was just explaining things as simple as possible, without adding in distractions.

Two other people cherry-picked everything I said BUT my point, that was even bolded and stated several times.

After trying again a few more times I decided to quote myself and blow up the text size even bigger, while saying at the top "Let me make this bigger so you don't gloss over it".

Everyone got mad. Now I'm upset. It's my favorite forum. I visited it one time since then (a few days ago) and found an angry PM from one of the people asking the question, who was insulted that I blew the text up and "implied they're stupid"... well uh... sorry, but from my point of view you were incredibly stupid.

So here I am. Afraid to even visit the forum again because the thought of going there gives me anxiety attacks. All because everyone hates me. On a forum. I've left a lot of forums because of this very reason. I can make thousands of posts somewhere, and some group blows up at me and instead of making myself anxious over it, I just leave and never go back :\

To be honest, I've actually thought about PMing the people whom I have a "falling out" with and just flat out saying I'm on the spectrum and my intentions were never to upset anyone, maybe with a link to Wikipedia or some other page talking about autism. I don't like flaunting that though, and I don't know if that would be seen as an "excuse" rather than a reason. I've really thought about it though, I wonder if it would help at least a little.

Do you think others might be upset that you're trying to be right when the debate might not mean as much to them?

I understand, and have the same problem, but it's not as bad. I'm working on it. I have got to learn to let things go.

I say too much, like I just have this urge to tell them information, but it doesn't need be. Just tell them what they need to know, try to keep it simple. I think it's common for Autism, to what to explain a bunch of stuff, and we don't know what to say and what not to say. It can be very frustating.

Ok seriously,IMO this guy has no reason to be insulted. I mean, if you bold and state your point several times and they choose to ignore it, that's their problem and it should be a given that your going to be annoyed by that. I personally liked how you increased the text size and your comment at the top. I would have done the same thing. People like this don't ignore certain pieces of information on accident, and the fact that it was bolded and stated multiple times proves that. I think the guy who PMd you is trying to play victim and waiting for an apology.... if you want to apologize, fine, but you certainly don't have to.

Sorry this is happening to you

Also, about your original post about the what color is the sky question, it's their problem if they're annoyed. So you decided to add what colors the sky can be at sunrise/sunset.... big deal. You absolutely do not owe them any apology. They asked you what color the sky was and you gave them your answer... if they don't like it too bad. I think your answer was just fine and wasn't too long at all. If I were you I would have said "if you just want to hear "blue", ask me what color blueberries are."

I used to have this problem too. People do not like it when you state the obvious. If you say "The sky" is blue people are saying "Well d'uh" and that is what makes them mad. They prefer inferences. It would be better to say "Look at the sky it is a beautiful day." You can also say nothing at all.

I don't know how much the following advice from my own experience with (AS) may be helpful:

Over time, we boost that "sixth sense of sorts" in avoiding dicey situations in the first place. In short, "when in doubt DON'T!" Osmosis can be a big help here, "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" (LAUGH this works if your not in Rome).