Childish behaviour, is any one else dealing with this?

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(My toys I've been playing with today since 5am this morning)

Every day, my mum constantly tells me "You're 17, not 5." It's like she can't understand why a 17 year old 'woman' would want to play with toys and watch Peppa Pig and Thomas the Tank Engine. I can't understand why someone would suddenly stop playing with fun toys and games and start being all... 'Adulty' and do... taxes and... stuff that adults do.

Every time I ask for a toy she says I'm too old, we go through a big argument until she finally gives in and finally allows me to get it. She doesn't try to understand, she tells me off because I can't cut my own food and when I do, I take an hour to do so. I don't do it on purpose, really I don't. She tells me I'm too immature for my age and constantly moans that she has to watch me like a toddler when we're out.

She upsets me by bringing up the fact that I'll be 18 soon and that I can't do the things I could when I was little. I can't go to certain events anymore, I'm not allowed to play in the play room etc etc. It's very heartbreaking for me because it's like once I get past 18 everybody will be expecting me to throw out my toys and start watching boring TV shows and read the newspaper like a mature adult.

I don't choose to get older so I don't see why I should be punished for it. If it was up to me I would stay 10 forever.

Mum says I have the intellectual ability of a smart adult but the maturity of a five year old. I think this is an accurate description. I make friends with young children better than I do with my peers, it's like I'm a five year old kid in a seventeen year old female body.

My mum does love me and spoils me rotten but I don't think she fully understands me.

... Is or has anyone else dealt/dealing with this? Is this my autism or is it just me?... although, my autism is me. Please tell me there's a person over 18 who is still playing with toys otherwise... I'm going to get worried.

I am not quite into toys anymore, but I do still have a few things that, if others were aware of, I would be told I am simply too old for. I still have my childhood blanket and my favorite stuffed animals that I interact with. Maybe not quite to the extent that I did as a child, but nonetheless. I also am into dollhouses as a hobby. I emphasize to others that I do not play with the dollhouse and that I strictly make furniture, decorate, etc and this is socially acceptable. Except I actually do play with the dollhouse the exact same way I did when I was little that I do today,

I think there might be a happy medium where you could continue to enjoy your toys while assuming some more adult roles as well. No need to be ashamed

You're not alone! I'm 52, and I DO do adult things like do my taxes......but I also still play with toys!! I relate strongly to you, as I was just like you when I was your age -- I was intellectually mature and of high intelligence but I was emotionally very childlike and enjoyed things normally associated with being a younger age.

I've had to go on to live an "adult" life, but I still never lost my joy of toys, children's TV shows and movies and other "immature" stuff. Next week I'm seeing the LEGO movie. I buy myself cuddly toys and have a small collection. I buy myself Kinder eggs for the little toys. I love birds but can't own real ones, so I when I saw a little playset of plastic doves in a dovecote on e-bay, I bought it, and play with the little doves, putting them in their dovecote. I collected vintage Rupert bear books because they remind me of my childhood and I find them a delightful escape into simplicity and innocence.

I'm also self employed, live alone, do my taxes, shop for food, and was once married and divorced. I've arranged two international migrations/relocations and done other "adult" things that show responsibility and "grown-up-ness" -- yet I've never stopped feeling like I'm "no age" inside. I'm still five, I'm still 13, sometimes I'm still 18, inside myself.

Just because you still have fun with toys and things a child enjoys, doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. I gather that it's especially common and widespread among people on the autism spectrum, so I don't think you're going to be alone in this.

Maybe you could show your mum this thread and my reply, and the others that will follow? If she sees that some of us out here have this same trait yet managed to be grownups too, she may not be so worried about the trait.

You're not alone.

.

I don't play with toys, but I never really did even when I was young.

However, I still feel young inside. And I am happiest when I am "in touch" with my young self and doing the same things that my younger self always got to do - go bike riding, wandering in the woods, reading a book, crafts. The things I like happen to be more socially acceptable, but if I liked toys I would still want to play with them.

I guess that´s because you should adapt to it although you have no choice. Growing up is normal, but in my opinion you don´t have to leave all your child-like interests to be an adult. I mean, you can do both, adult things and playing with toys for fun in your free time.That you do this doesn´t mean you are a "bad" adult in general, it´s more like BirdInFlight described it, a combination of both.


My mum often tells me the same even now when I am 20, but it was also like this when I was 17 like you. I still like building things with Lego and playing games made for younger children.

I don't play with toys, but I love cartoons. If I had some cool toys I would play with them. My favorite has always been Lego's. Also there are plenty of adults autistic or NT who play with toys.

I enjoy Lego and I like bikes. They're the things I've ever had to play with really. I still have teddy bears.

And I like to watch childrens television.

I can't see anything wrong with it to be honest.

We all do colouring books at work, and play dough.

It keeps us quiet for hours.

I think the developmental delays can cause people to retain childlike features for many years longer than normal, but it doesn't mean they won't slowly mature with some extra time.

For example, my 9-year-old nephew has HFA and didn't speak at all until 5 years old. Then when he started to speak he pretty much babbled for a few years. Now at 9 he still speaks on a 3 or 4 years old level in very simplistic sentences, full of the same kinds of errors made at 3 or 4 years old (such as "Why we can't go to the video store?"). And, he still can't quite read. However his progress has been slow but steady and it's clear he is maturing. I'm sure he will be reading and speaking fluently in the next 5 years or so. You may enjoy playing with toys for another 5 or 10 years, and then your interests will settle on something else.

Let me tell you that I am around 30 and I never "matured". Because I never "matured", I did not feel like I fit in with my family of origin for many reasons. I got my own place at 17 and got a job to get away from them because they annoyed me. But other than that, I think your feelings are on point. You don't choose to get older. It's like making a judgment based on someone's race or whether they're gay or straight. Like I play with toys all the time.

Other than working, I don't do anything adulty, like drinking alcohol. And the whole idea of age appropriate, is a form of discrimination as well. As long as you are self sufficient and whatever, the only thing necessary about being an adult is paying bills. Even then, you don't have to do it if you are living with your family, sometimes.

In my case one thing I have never gotten over is naivete about people. This has caused me to choose a lot of the wrong people in life and one reason why I never married or had kids...yet.

Ah, I'm the same. I've been put into a lot of terrible situations because of my naïveté. One awful event was when I was not even 6-7 years old, these five girls (looked to be about 10) told me they wanted to play and that their hideout was around this corner... A blind spot from teachers.

They seemed nice for the first five minutes but soon I was cornered and physically abused. At one point they had a lighter out and kept putting the flame near my face, clothes and hair. It went on for what seemed like hours to me until one of them finally said (this sentence is engrained in my memory) "let's leave the ret*d mental patient to cry." Before they left they made sure to degrade me one last time by spitting on my face.

I've been locked in a shed for 2 hours, had my things stolen, money stolen, called names and have been knocked out from a punch to the face but there isn't anying worse than someone spitting on you. I felt so... Pathetic and the teacher who I told thought I was making it up because I wasn't crying or something like that. The girls never got told off but luckily left me alone after that.

The teachers in that school were abusive. One constantly berated me in front of the class, another made me wet myself, one used to physically hurt me and another ripped up my drawing in front of the class. That school was an awful place to be and was moved to a different school. This abuse was all because I'm autistic and they didn't know why I stimmed, had meltdowns, didn't communicate etc... Damn, your comment brought back a lot of awful memories for me.

I'm still naïve and trust way too easily. I know this but it doesn't stop me from making friends with nasty people.

You are so right that having someone spit in your face is almost the most dehumanizing thing that can even happen to you. Unfortunately, this happened to me all to recently, at 43, when THE worst boyfriend I ever had in life 1) assaulted me and later, after I forgave him, 2) spit in my face. I only hope that such extreme lessons have helped me learn to be much more selective about the people I allow into my life.

Hi, Coda! I love your car collection in your photo!

I'm 22 and even though I act like an adult (going to college, living in a dorm room, etc) I'm still pretty much a kid at heart....I still have my stuffed animals and plushies, my die cast cars and planes, and always take at least one or two of my plushies with me in my bag whenever I go anywhere - it's an anxiety reliever for me. I still love watching cartoons, as well, like My Little Pony, Doc McStuffins, Sofia the First, DragonTales, Timmy Time, Wander Over Yonder, The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and the Pound Puppies. I like Peppa Pig, too - it's a cute show! My favorite movies are mostly animated ones, like Cars, Cars 2, Planes, Finding Nemo, Wreck It Ralph, Monsters Inc and Chicken Run. I'd just much rather watch movies and shows that make me feel happy and positive, rather than movies and shows that are all serious and make me feel sad and depressed about the world.

I bet even though your mom says you'll have to give up playing with your cars and things by a certain age, she won't have any tangible way of actually enforcing that....when my stepfather disparaged my watching DragonTales (at age 12) by saying, "You're going to have to stop watching that by the time you're 13" I just watched it at my dad's house instead. And now I watch it on my laptop, and no one cares what I do with my own laptop. So, I wouldn't worry about that part.

Hope this makes you feel a bit better!

Coda you are not alone. This is actually common on the Spectrum. I have read about it in some articles. What your mom does not realize is that part of Autism is that the Limbic System of the brain has smaller neurons and many more than the Neurotypical limbic system. This phenomenon causes the Autistic brain to actually be a younger brain than it's NT counterpart. So the fact that you like to play with toys and have a very young emotional quotient, as do I, is not surprising in the least. You go right on playing with your toys girl, it's a beautiful thing.

As a teenager I also still collected and role-played with dolls and stuffed animals and my mother had a real problem with it. She wanted me to act like a teenager and thought that I might not be bullied as much in school if I did. But now I'm an adult who has been diagnosed and my mother is much more understanding. I still collect dolls and stuffed animals and do other so-called childish things, but I take care of myself and do my own things like cooking my own meals, doing my own laundry and cleaning my own apartment. There are people my age who act more "adult" but don't even know how to make a sandwich.

Of course, there will always be other people (99% of them on the internet) who will judge me, troll me, and think I should be locked up in an asylum for eating Count Chocula while watching Sesame Street while it's more acceptable for adults to get heavily drunk and watch Honey Boo-Boo.

I agree with you about the boring TV shows that are out there! I think that you are "stuck" Have you ever thought about combining the two? If you are as intelligent as your age or more but immature, then why not maybe become a writer or direct a kids' movie, or even better. Maybe become a architect for Legoland! or something!

There's usually a reason why you want to hold on to your childhood. Don't throw away your dream or try to change just because "society said so"
That's how so many people end up with a boring job in a cubicle and become depressed! (I'm working on my thing too..we all have these problems, that's why we are here!)