Bully from school days sending your friend request on FB.

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Isn't it funny? I keep them pending for good.

The bullies that I punched and choked don't want to be my friend.

It is like they are saying "This guy knows who I really am, better not friend him or he will tell every one."

It does not make any sense that some one that bullied you wants to be your friend or "catch up" with you on facebook. People say time heals all wounds. With effort and sincerity and a very convincing apology, perhaps time can heal wounds. Time as the healer alone, no. Sorry, this bully is just stroking his worthless friend number ego. Pend him ...pend him back to hell!

I would block them. One of the very first things I did when I registered on Facebook was to block the girls who bullied me.

I deleted my facebook account.

Can you give us more details on what you endured from this person? Do you think he may be feeling guilt?? At 53 years of age, I find myself apologizing for things I did and said as a teen to quite a few people - many of them don't even know what I'm talking about. One told me that she knew that I was only trying to make friends and didn't quite know how to go about it. She said she never took offense. Didn't think it was that obvious. She also said that I was the primary reason she chose a career in Special Ed. I ALMOST said that she was the primary reason why I took up Psychiatric Nursing...but these days I know when to shut up.

Honestly I do not want to talk to them anyways so I hit "Not Now" so that they know I am not interested. If they became persistent, I would block them.

All that will serve is for you to be reminded of your childhood bully 'for good'. Not an exciting prospect in my book.

I don't do FB though so don't know what the etiquette would be but being the confrontational type that I am I would probably ask them for what reason they want to be on my friend list and take it from there. Depending on the person I might just ignore their request too..

I know as an Aspie, social situations are nearly foreign to me, but please help me to understand:

Facebook allows you to keep in touch with friends, etc.

People who hated you aren't your friends.

People who hated you want to keep in touch on Facebook.

Hmm... did I do the math wrong? Or is that bat-crap crazy?

When someone I don't like friends me, I always hit deny (unless it's a relative I really don't like, then I keep it pending indefinitely)

I keep them pending as well. Do they not get what jerks they were? And they say we are clueless! lol

I declined the request when it happened.

If it was a gesture to apologise and make-up then he could have still messaged me beforehand. Another did just that, and I gladly accepted.

You're lucky they still remember you and actually take the time to add you, none of mine have ever tired adding me so it's as if I am forgotten.

One of my aspie friends accepted most of his old bullies friends requests and they all apologized to him. How lucky is that?

I'm actually friend with the kids who used to bully me, some of them are actually living a normal live and one even got accepted into a good college. One of them never uses Facebook, I however did notice that he attends the same college as me and I think it's even the same building but it can also the other one that's in that city. There's also one who attends a farm school now for some reason. Honestly, he's not the kind of person that I would expect to become a farmer, I know he had chickens as pets but still.
Okay I admit that I may or may not have hoped that them being bullies would cause their life to go downhill in the future but I'm just glad that they stopped bullying me and that they just grew up instead of being the kind of people that they used to be.

The thing about bullies is that a lot of time, they don't realize they're being bullies. Especially not in grade school, where bullies are sheltered from the effects of their bullying by school policies that favor victim blaming.

So it's hard to say what to do with them when they come back to haunt you years later. I've never faced this problem, because the only times anyone other than family tried to bully me, I wouldn't let them. Not having any interest in friendship made this easier for me.

Only once did a bully try to use physical force against me, and later THAT WEEK she suddenly wanted to be my friend. Because I stood up to her and I didn't get her into trouble for the bruises she left.

I told her to go away!

I don't have a Facebook because I saw no need for it after college. Frankly, I was creeped out by some professors wanting to "add" me. They were as-hole professors. I have a LinkedIn. The first thing I did was look up most professors from my university. I blocked them accordingly as well as classmates who sent me requests as well. While having some sort of social media profile is required at work, I would rather not have people from my past peeking into my life. It pisses me off enough when people who were jerks to me ask if my place of employment has job openings. No, it doesn't.

I actually added a someone who bullied me once as a kid. It's actually quite funny because I had told him he bullied me when we were younger. He actually APOLOGIZED for bullying me, and I was surprised because most bullies don't do something like that. I ended up taking him off though because we didn't have the same interests as each other, and it was hard for me to communicate with him without being really awkward. :/

People change over time and he may not be the same person anymore. That's happened to me where people used to pick on me in school and now they're friendly whenever I run into them.