New Problem. What should I do?

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Hi,
I have yet another problem.

In my Spanish class, I{a Junior} sit with two other Aspie guys. We always sit in the back and do our work. When we are told to go mingle about to practice our Spanish/answering a question in Spanish, we sometimes speak in unison.

There is also a group of four NT girls{Freshmens & Sophomores} who sit in the front of the class and during the conversation part of class, at least one of them is told by the others to follow me. I dodge them to converse with other students and the teacher. I don't know why the girls like to do this but during breaks, whoever is following me "reports" to another girl not in Spanish. Also during breaks, I go to the store and notice the girl receiving the reports about me heading me off as well. When I leave the classroom, I notice one of them trying to head me off going to the restroom or to the water fountain. I have ignored them to the best of my abilities.

What should I do next?

wow that sounds like something we used to do in elemenarty school and these are highschool girls...
well, when girls would do this when i was younger, it meant one of the girls in the group liked the guy. that may be what these girls are doing. the girls that is being "reported" to possibly likes you and wants to find out more about you, albeit in what i consider to be a childlike manner.

Well, the girls take turns following me in a rotating manner, meaning one goes one day, one the next, and so on. These girls sometime laugh whenever I speak in Spanish class, mind you this takes place only during Spanish, and one loves to give me dirty looks just to mess with me. We have no girls of Hispanic ethinicity in Spanish just Freshmen up to Seniors.

These are very cunning, very egotistical girls. They will find me, no matter what.

What should I do next? I have been ignoring them but they try to get my attention.

Are they stalking me or something similar to stalking?

Can you bring a camera and 'document' them doing this? Maybe you can embarrass them right back. Or bring the pics/video to somebody who deals with bullying. I think it is an immature girl thing, if memory serves me right. But they are bothering you, even if they're not threatening you, it's still bullying. Yup, is there somebody who deals with bullying? Maybe have a talk with them, camera or not.

If you were a total raving extrovert you could call a play by play while you film them, maybe in Spanish? okay, okay. But I am serious that it's bullying.

Anon, seriously, I think one of them likes you.

Rarely to girls go to such extended effort unless they like you. Is it possible that they would go to such lengths just to tease/mess with you? Yes, but it's not probable.

Next time, goof with the one following you -- duck behind something, then jump out in front of her and say "Oh! I didn't me to startle you." Then give her a big, mischeivous smile. Then calmly walk off the opposite direction and don't look back.

Seriously, guy. Take control of the situation humorously. If they ARE messing with you, it will stop being so much fun if they know you'll "retaliate" rather than allowing yourself to be play-stalked like prey. AND, if one of them DOES like you, as I suspect, then you'll be taking it to the next level, and the little group will be THRILLED. LOL!

One thing you boys all need to remember is that it's VERY possible to be sort of...an odd dude...and still have a girl (or several) secretly have a crush on you. Once a girl has decided she likes you, you could have three eyeballs and say nothing but "Gerk!" and she'd find a way to not only justify it but to convince all her friends that it's absolutely brilliant of you.

Trust your friend, the old babe, DD.

I have no idea what is going on there. It sounds like either one of them likes you, or they are looking to harass you.

Are there disposable cameras out your way? I use those, the cost of developing is included in the price.

I thought of it again and I'm not sure you should descend to their level.

Could you march right up to them and say, "Good afternoon, ladies, will you join me for a cup of coffee?" or Coke or whatever. For that matter, could you march right up to them and say "Hello?" That might boost it up to the next level, maturity-wise.

I wonder what would happen if you followed them down the street, close enough to step on their heels. That might turn things around, too.

I think the idea of a 'camera' is stupid. On a more serious note, they can sue for voyerism or some other BS. Don't go for it. The best way is to get one of your group to look over for you, and report. 'Surveillence' with a camera is a no-go.

I also think you should be mature and confident about this. Act so, and don't be childish to their childishness. They could be mocking, they could 'like' you...if they like you, they're trying to act 'sweet' and playfully. If they're mocking, well...they're calling you out to try and make you look like an idiot. Either way, act mature and confident, and none of this 'suprising them and jumping at them from a behind a desk' bullcrap. If they're flirting, being mature and confident will be your 'male-ness' to their giggly 'fe-maleness'. If they're mocking you...being mature and confident means you won't be pulled in to their ploy.

BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE NO CAMERAS, AND NO JUMPING OUT AT THEM!! ! Then they really will think you're weird. At least use the 'Buddy system'.

I didn't mean surveillance. Since they took his picture, I thought that if they did it again he could do it right back. But you're right, it could go sour. Better not.

If they follow him, I don't see why he couldn't follow them - once.

The buddy system is good, I hadn't thought of that.

Guys, I think there are many possible approaches.

My suggestion to jump back out and be humorous and playful is not about suggesting that one should "sink" to any level -- but rather that
it's one way to handle the situation that demonstrates that you DO have a sense of play, which is good if it turns out that they do like you even if they being a little silly in the way they handle it. And if their intentions are good, isn't it a little flattering that they are paying so much attention to you?

Do remember to cut them a little slack, too. Don't assume that because they are girls (and probable NTs) that at 17 they have all the answers on how to handle interactions with the opposite sex either. They may be doing the best the can to get across that they like you! You could choose to view it as flattering, if a bit awkward, rather than stupid and immature.

And if they ARE giving you are hard time, then don't get all huffy. That would just demonstrate that they've gotten under your skin. That's why humor is often a good approach to disarm would-be bullies. Demonstrates that you're not afraid or going to cave in or have some sort of dramatic reaction that adds fuel to the fire, etc.

Just pick a way to directly address them -- either by surprising them like I suggested in the play-stalk game or by approaching them quasi-facetiously but politely and implementing the "coffee ladies?" suggestion. Notice I avoided the word "confront." Don't make it confrontational or be angry about it, because that just adds fuel to the fire.

Honestly, though, 17-year-old girls RARELY pay so much attention to someone -- particularly to guys -- if they are not at least curious in a positive way about you. Trust a formerly 17-year-old girl on this, okay. THAT's why you don't want to be hostile or negative in your reaction, and that's why you do want to take the trouble to interact at all and get to the bottom this...right?? Could be a great opportunity....!

Keep us posted.

DD

I agree with DD actually, as to my embarrassment, I have behaved this way and I am not NT, and it was DEFINITELY because I liked the man, but had no idea how to do anything about this. I am surprised, that as NTs, one of them has not simply come out and said something, or given a note. I have an excuse because I am nervous of people and have no idea about flirting etc, what excuse do they have?

Grael,

What those girls have is a serious case of...adolescence! Hahahaha!

No, I'm not laughing at you or our teenage friends. Just the opposite. I'm remembering with some amused embarassment at my own follies that being a teen, NT or AS, and trying to figure out how to interact with others -- much less flirt or express romantic interest! -- is always a challenge. And EVERYONE s a bit of dork about it when they are first learning about it, don't be surprised by the goofy things people do.

Heck, I've got MUCH more experience in that arena than most of you on this thread, but let us all do remember: if romance/love and the possibility of it weren't a pretty steep, exciting, nerve-wracking, difficult, beautiful, agonizing, ridiculous, so-totally-worth-it hill to climb, then most of what Shakespeare and every other amazing author in history has would be moot.

I don't have all the answers either (as per the Adult Forum, In Love with Aspie thread), but I know this: It's all good.

DD

Alex????

That can't possibly have been the real Alex.

Dangerous idea, whoever said that about the chest-area touching.

DD