Family's and friends reactions finding out your autism?

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Hello everyone (this is my first post)
I just wish to know what was your families and friends reactions when they found out you had Asperger's?
I was diagnose in the USA in at 22 right after college, never got a diagnosis in France (no need to mention how backwards France is on autism but also when it comes to psychiatry, has a kid I was put in a special psychiatry boarding school for a year, and none of the shrinks where capable of diagnosing me, they said I had a weird mind and mistreated me, especially the nurses)
So when I announce it to my family (my parents are separated and half my family are American, my other half from Europe, where I live).
My mom : First said "you are shi..ing me!! !" and then said she wasn't really surprise and always knew I wasn't like others but then started blaming my dad because she knew something wasn't right and my dad didn't see it and refused I went to another country to find out what was wrong.

My dad : First reaction "can it be cured?" and then he started to ask a lot of questions, met some psychiatrists to get answers in France who told him it was my mom's fault (stupid French Freudian psychiatrist) and after reading a lot he realized what Asperger's was and looking back he had regrets he didn't do more and understood why I was often lonely, often depressed and only interested and focus on certain things.

My sister : She made fun of me calling me all kind of hurtful names.

Rest of my family : Same reaction has my mom and weren't really surprised, especially my grandmother recalling that I would always prefer spending time with her than with other kids, with my cousins or going out, but just hanging out and talking about arts, books and going out for Sushi

My friends, I didn't tell them first, and only recently to a couple I have known for at least 10 year I have told, and after explaining to them what it was, they looked back and weren't very surprised.

And I told it once to a Girlfriend I was dating for a month because she asked me why I was so different from others, and she freaked out... Never saw her again.

So what are your tales about telling people?

I was diagnosed when I was quite little (in the second or third grade). My family found out the same time I did.

Mom: My mom read a bunch of books on parenting a child with AS (though I can't recall the titles of most of them off the top of my head). She always did her best to make sure I was okay & take care of me despite the fact that I never was (and still tend not to be) very vocal about the things that are going on in my life.

Dad: My dad says that he doesn't believe in autism. Instead he chooses to believe that people are different from other people. He takes note of my idiosyncrasies & seems to understand me quite well & accept me, but very strongly dislikes the labels I've been given.

Sisters: For my sisters, it's just always been a fact of life. We've all known each other's psychological and neurological conditions from a very young age.

Most people in my life are really pretty cool about it. Once or twice I've been met with comments to the effect of "but you're too smart to be autistic" but generally it isn't a big deal. This is especially true because I spend most of my time in an environment with other people who have been removed from the general population for some reason. One of my friends is schizophrenic, another is a sociopath & I even hang out with some of the other diagnosed aspies that I've met through various government programs. One more guy who isn't NT doesn't really stick out too much in my peer group.

More distant NT family already drifted apart from so does not arise.

Tend only to have friends in more intellectual or tolerant-religious circles, where such things accepted when they know you. The type of friends who would be bad about it I just can't make anyway.

With close family and through parent any remaining acquaintances still left from the time of my school troubles, it was liberating to share it as the explanation for them. Being aspie was a brilliant life development because it undid the challenging impact on them that my school troubles had had, when predictions of great things at school, which they had all believed in with a reckless certainty, were not fulfilled. My vindication, that they had believed ina wrong cause and that I was right to have my school troubles.

my family always knew, so there was no reaction there (i am lucky enough to live in a country that is pro-active on diagnosing and treating ASDs, not with medicine, but by adapting surroundings).

as for friends; it is not the first thing i tell about myself, once i disclose (if at all) we have known each other for quite some time. the typical reaction is a variation of "ah, that explains a lot", then nothing really changes.
some of them did start asking questions since they know more people with lower functioning ASDs, and realized i could help them understand better, but that's all that has changed, for me, due to disclosing to friends

I no longer have family (death and estrangement), but I have two friends I've shared the news of the diagnosis with. I only recently got diagnosed so these were among the only people I have that I might break the news to. One was great, very supportive, and pleased for me that I finally have closure on what had been uncertain. She doesn't treat me any differently, she's just happy for me that I have an answer and go forward from there.

The other -- who before my assessment had seemed equally supportive -- got weird on me. Right before my final appointment she became cold and distant. She did ask me to text her if I was told anything decisive before my full report got sent to me. I was, and so I did. She texted back relief and similar "happy for you that you know now" the same as my other friend. So I guess that was cool.

But the next time I saw her -- and I thought I was going to be able to share with her what the process was like and how I'm feeling, etc, she was cold and distant again. She didn't seem to want to talk about it. She was a bit short with me. The odd thing is, she is on her way to becoming a counselor/therapist and is interested in all psychology and neurology, and I thought at least she would be interested in this from that standpoint.

Okay, I realize that maybe she was busy, or something else was on her mind. I totally get that it might not have been about me at all. But it just seemed odd that she's giving out a vibe and seeming unwilling to hear anything about it even though she was enthusiastically supportive back when I was undiagnosed. In fact she was my biggest supporter and "believer" when I was only suspecting that i was on the spectrum and only thinking about seeking an evaluation. I thought when or if the diagnosis came in for sure that she would be the biggest supporter. Instead it's like she doesn't want to talk about it.

I'm letting it go and not letting it bother me that much, but her reaction definitely stands out to me as somewhat strange and not like her, or not like what I expected.

There's a third friend, an acquaintance, more, whom I started to tell but we got interrupted and never finished the conversation. He has always laughed in my face and denied it, but e also doesn't know me very deeply and doesn't know about the spectrum -- my other two friends are respectively in mental health and training to be in the field, so they understand more about it. I don't know what my third friend's reaction is going to be. I even printed out something from a website to help him understand the end of the spectrum that has people like me on it, because I think he thinks of Rainman and because I'm not like rainman I'm not on the spectrum. He's a good person, he just doesn't know.

I don't think I'm going to discuss/disclose with anyone else though; there are not that many more people I know on any basis, and no need. But I will be willing to tell if I have to. It's just very weird the reactions.

A question or comment about me being really smart (it was a long time ago and I can't remember what was said).

"I'm not surprised."

"Really? [Something I understood to mean: You're obviously weird, but you never seemed that off.]."

Sudden and slightly prolonged silence followed by immediate change of subject. (Both when first mentioned and any time it's ever come up since, which is not often but has happened a few times.)

No verbal response about autism, but noticeable positive change in behavior and understanding towards me.

Reaction same as if I was telling them any other neutral fact about myself.

Indifferent.

Thanks for all your nice answers.

Close relatives and family members were like " that makes sense" but other people would think im putting myself down or giving myself an excuse, they didnt 100% understand but my dad and sister knew right away it was the best explanation

My parents reacted rather well to my diagnosis and the therapist's suggestion of getting a diagnosis months before that, but I think it was because the therapist didn't talk about Asperger's in a negative light. Of course she mentioned symptoms that impair my functioning, but she never necessarily said anything was wrong with me.

I never told my brother about it. He found out on his own when he stumbled upon a paper saying that I had it. He said, "I don't care if people are 'different' from others; this changes nothing," and "so this is why you're so focused on science and engineering..."

The subject was brought up with a friend when he told me he had Asperger's, and so I told him I also had it. I think we both got pretty excited about that and began to ask each other question after question to compare our experiences.

During a breakdown I told a teacher and she exclaimed: "Wow! See, another reason why you're smarter than the rest of us!"

Another teacher told me, "Oh I knew a long time ago already. I used to work with autistic children."

As for various friends, they usually say "Well you're still the same person. I'm not going to treat you differently because of this." And they don't. They rarely bring the subject up again and don't treat it like it's a big deal, but sometimes they ask random questions.

_________________
My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.

I told my mother that I suspected I had Aspergers when I was 16 after dealing with anxiety, depression, and isolation for as long as I could remember. She is unable to see her children as anything but what she wants them to be, so she refuses to this day to justify my self-diagnosis.

My father doesn't believe Aspergers is a real disability. He also believes that Autism is caused by vaccines. We have never really seen eye-to-eye.

Having a supportive, loving person or network is so very important, I can't emphasize that enough.

Mom: Got more information about it online and told her family
Dad: Not sure
Brothers: Not sure
Other relatives: Not sure.
I don't know because I cannot read their minds and I saw nothing different from them and no reaction.

Dad's cousin reaction: My parents let me get away with everything and I would be a better person if they were better parents.
Husband: Just something for him to understand me better

Most people don't think I seem autistic. Even counselors, psychiatrists and psychologists. Most people just think I'm anxious.

My sister was confused, she didn't know much about autism at the time, but she says she can see it now.

My little brother told me that he can kind of see it, but that I don't seem THAT weird.

My mom was actually the one who gave me the idea that I might have it to begin with, so when I told her I think she said, "I can't believe we didn't know that you had it all this time." She was also pretty supportive, and gave me some ideas that could help me. She got them from a friend in one of her mom groups, who has a 21 year old daughter with Asperger's, and told me some of the stuff that helped her.

My older brother, my former therapist, and my dad all said it shouldn't matter. They said even if I'm right (while implying that I was not) I should forget about it and move on. They think I'm somehow limiting myself by knowing, or that I'm making up excuses.

For my parents it was like finding the missing piece to the puzzle, same for me as well.

For some teachers, it was easy to accept and others were not so accepting. Friends wise, well, I didn't have any friends in school (still don't have friends to this day from anywhere), so that didn't matter. Some of my family members were quite accepting, as were some of my parents friends. Others were not so much so, like my grandparents on my dad's side, they think it'll go away but they're getting older nowadays so it doesn't bother me as much if they say it.

My parents didn't handle it very well. It explained strange behavior as child to present. I frequently broke into their room and found multiple autism help books, and they argued about what to with me to each other, in addition to dealing with their other children. My parents still act like I can do everything, but I honestly can't. I\For the most part, I consider them indifferent and misunderstanding.

My sister doesn't like to think about it, but she understands there are limits to me.

My brother could care less, but he thinks I'm still strange.