I'm thinking about becoming a junkie

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Honestly I stopped caring rather I live or die along time ago. Ironically, I managed to get my friend off drugs and now, I'm thinking about picking up the needle and the spoon. Because I don't have a choice but to play the NT game and loose, I have nothing to loose but a lifetime of pain and anger and frustration. Everyone always says "make the best of it" (easy for THEM to say right?) well screw it, I'll take their advice my way. Live fast die young with a smile, I don't have to feel the pain on the way out. And I f*****g hope I do catch AIDS or something, I don't really f*****g care anymore. I have no access to life, liberty, and the persuit of happiness any f*****g ways, accept through drugs.

I'm thinking of taking up smoking, eating a shedload of high saturated fat food, eating lots of sugar stuff, drinking dangerously high amounts of caffeine, and drinking. I bit I could kill myself pretty quickly if I did it all at once.

Please don't.

If you're going to die, at least die with honor. Join the army or something.

I think its possible to take an anti-depressant with a history of seizures from them.


http://professionals.epilepsy.com/page/ ... press.html

Here is another from the same site:

http://professionals.epilepsy.com/page/ ... press.html

Also MAOIs are the most potent anti-depressants available. They have certain side effects and certain dietary and drug restriction (I'm sure pot would not be a problem).

The drug Nardil http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenelzine should be low cost. Its been off patent a long time. But since its not common your local pharmacy may jack the price up but you can legally order it from Canada with a US prescription.

Prices on froogle

http://froogle.google.com/froogle?hl=en ... a=N&tab=wf

But then again, you WOULD be happy for a little while. Dunno. Perhaps I should try something like that.

Please don't do it snake321.

Take up racing cars, bull riding, motorcycle racing.

Climb every mountain you can find, start small, keep finding bigger ones.

Why waste your life, if your not afraid to die, don't be afraid to live. Do something exciting, try something new.

while the inclusion of a needle makes it a bit more than what I'm dealing with, drugs don't help. there's three possibilities with them: 1. wanting more, 2. feeling a false sense of "good," and 3. being f'ed up and still being miserable.

1 is manageable, 2 is great, 3 is a living hell.

edit: how do I know? I'm at 3.

And AIDS is a very slow way to die. It can take years.

Yeah I'm doing ok for now because I smoked some weed..... I dunno I....... I go through ups and downs...... But when I crash I can crash hard..... I haven't did anything to harm myself yet. I can't afford to take time off my job in order to seek psychological/emotional help for my problems in a clinic somewhere, but I don't think it would do me much good anyhow though. I dunno, the world f***s with my head.... I mean for crying out loud, look at our world, people defend greed, ignorance, stupidity, apathy, selfishness, hatred, dishonesty, hypocracy, and sloth (especially mental sloth) as their MORALITY! I'm surrounded by barbarism, and I have like no f*****g access to an equal life of a NT man, and it's BS! So I'm supposed to grow old like a ghost, like a shadow, into my senior years alone and bitter, but so far beyond the world around me I can't bear the scar on my mind?
When I was young I began searching for answers, and I found them, but, I found out more than I should have ever ventured to find out, and yet, I can't stop seeking and evolving myself. This shouldn't even have to be a bad fate, and in some ways it's good..... But damn, I just can't come to grips with how f****d up everything is. And why I have to face this BS in my life, this f*****g glass ceiling, I mean when will the American Dream extend to aspies?

You're not the only one surrounded my barbarism,god is a asswipe,jesus can go f**k himself and i need to start a civil war so i can make society a better place to live...

You just plain do not want to know about that road. No you really don't. If you think for a second it eases you, I'm hear to tell you it doesn't. Horror stories I have a plenty. This isn't teeny bopper crap, this is where the raod really takes you. You will not die with a smile on your face. I have no idea how I actually lived through that part of my life, I really don't. How many times I was near a painful death? I can remember one and I'll never ever forget it. No it does not ease the pain, it makes it worse. "AIDES or something"? Most likely I got Hep C from it, I'll never know for sure, probably a very good chance I got it later. Like to take my Hep C from me? I'd gladly give it up. My day may stink to high heaven, but if I can smell a cup of coffee brewing, I'm really doing ok.

Lol, when they draw blood from me and the tech doesn't hit the vein? I want to grab the needle and show em how to do it right. Hell I can hit a vein in my hand. If you go down that road you better learn to, because the rest of the veins will be shot to s**t. It's a serious dark road, it really is.

I think it was Patton who said something like this. The real way to do it, is make the other sob die with honor for his country. There is no "honor" in war. There never was and never will be. If you're looking for honor find it in words, talking to those that want to harm you or in this context your country. It takes courage. Any fool can catch a bullet. I have yet to meet a combat vet that was in nothing but fear in combat. Anybody that wasn't was not right in the head to begin with. I met a guy once that was in a fire fight in the nam, ran out of ammo. I asked, well what did you do? His reply? I put my back against a tree, slid down and cryed like a baby. That was a vey mild story, war is horror.

Please don't become a junkie. That is a mistake you will regret for the rest of your life. You must realize that all depression but the most severe is only transitory. No matter how bad things seem now, the sad feelings will pass and you will be happy again.

snake, do you still want to work for National Geographic?

Have you thought of "stepping stones" or interim goals to help you go that direction?