AS,a very debilitating disorder?

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I'm sick and tired of AS,it messes so many things up for me yet other people I meet can't tell I suffer from it so they get confused and annoyed with me for doing things wrong.
Telling them about AS is not easy because they often either patronise or think I'm making excuses for my different behaviour.So most people I don't tell, saves having to explain it.
Interacting with people I find so hard I do wonder how many people on this site have AS because some have achieved things that are meant to be exceptionally difficult for us.
Maybe others with my condition try harder than me to socialize?
Or maybe I have the condition more strongly?I don't want to sound as though I'm criticizing,just rather frustrated that's all.
I keep wishing I was NT though of course that is totally pointless.
Hope this helps others feel a bit better who find life so tough,they're not alone.

Hi Enigma, I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. It is hard for me to socialize too, and for lots of people with AS. It is possible for an Aspie to achieve great things. We are probably more able to do so than NT, because we can really delve into a subject and learn a lot. Maybe there is something that you can do that will impress people and doesn't rely on your people skills that much.
My advice, don't wish you were NT. It's pointless, because you can't just "cure". Instead, try to see the positive side of AS! Make use of your strengths. You can see AS as a curse, or a blessing.

I hope you can somehow make peace with who you are and somehow make things work just the way God made you. He doesn't make mistakes.

My AS, if I do have it, manifests itself in moments of stupidity regarding social issues and sometimes in clumsiness. I have a Master's in English, but can't perform some tasks people regard as "no brainers." It can be embarrassing.

I was FORCED into socialising!

-get one of those friends that just don't leave you alone.... you are going to have to be yourself, in order for that friend to become the type that is really friendly (ie he/she has to like you for who you are)

-now the hard part ... going outside to get the friend!! !


-I find testing social situations where I shop helps me.... when at the store test out small talk on sales reps that don't recognise you.

-If you feel that one of the salesreps remmebers you and wnat to talk again, try it out - if you feel that you failed... go onto the next store.(I haven't visited my local SuperMarket for ages - I asked the store manager out for coffee -she told me she was 19!)

I am fed up with AS today. I am realising that I have been misunderstood by somebody who now thinks I'm interested in them in a way that I am not. I'm giving myself a very hard time about possibly having given off signals i didn't mean to. This has always happened to me.

Yeah, that is one of my fears. Sometimes it is SO hard to tell.

Steve

Thank you all for your kind advice
The reason I got really depressed yesterday was that I started a job in a factory on a production line packing and didn't get on well.
It was a loud environment which is hard for me because of my sensitive hearing and I got confused with how to stack the boxes on the pallet and got criticized for doing it wrong.I was glad to leave.
Today I told the agency who placed me there that I wasn't going back.I hope and believe now that my life can improve and things work out better.
I think that an outdoor job will suit be more because I enjoy being outdoors especially in the countryside.

The degree of debilitation probably depends upon the setting. I would expect that in cities where interactions are usually more distant it's not as much of a barrier to existance, the same with the internet. Though it will always cause difficulties in some way I suppose.

As I see me: What I am good with is anything conceptual. I can learn them and manipulate them and synthesize them. This is my areana and comfort zone.

Unfortunately most of lis outside that arena. Most of live is intrinsically and to me hopelessly bound up with emotion (not to self promote, but see my thread "anyone else" this forum), and so in life itself I am not only out of my area.

I am lost and outclassed. I would not become NT - what and whom would I be if converted?

But it is a hard life. Yes. AS can be very debilitating.

You know what???? I am the SAME way! Some(though none that really know me) have even doubted I am as smart as I am. I may make a stupid comment, ask a seemingly stupid question(USUALLY because THEY didn't state things right), etc... and everyone in the room may be dumbstruck! Heck, I won't even talk about some of my history because they would instantly consider me stupid, and not even give me a chance! THEN, they REALLY need to have an answer and may say it is impossible or will take forever, and I get it done before the hours up. And that isn't an exageration. In fact, that EXACT thing once happened in a room of about 20 people! They called me STUPID, and told me to SHUTUP(They even used that word!), but ***I*** was the one that made the project, they were getting paid for, a success by doing what they INSISTED was impossible.

So don't be so easily discouraged.

Steve

-PRDOUCTION LINE!! ! -this is autonomatonts!

-I did production line work,,, the best I lasted was 1 week.

I find that I usually do things better than everyone else that has worked there 40 years..... people that have worked their for a great period probably took 2 weeks to learn what you lerant on your first day.... that's why some-one butted in while watching you worked because 'he felt he knew best'.

I also find that it's nearly impossible to 'get in' to the group. ... In one automaont job I was conspired against in the 3 day,,, and a stratgy was employed by two managerial staff that realised that I could thier both thier jobs just by buying a computer. -actually the computer would have done thier jobs.

my aspergers is getting alot better, try a glutin free diet.

I hear what you're saying Enigma. I usually don't bother explaining to people that I have AS unless I see our friendship lasting longer then a month. Like take for example this girl I've been talking to. We've been talking ever since I moved here and things are moving along just fine and I'm getting the notion that she likes me.....I mean, she keeps touching me all the time, but I don't know if thats a normal thing or not.....Anyways, just today I sent her a long email explaining to her my condition. She has a lot of things going on with her too and she's been very open with me too so I felt reciprocation would be good at this point.

I know it can be frustrating at times but really...what else can you do but bite the bullet and move on? We can't pop a pill like everyone else in the NT world and feel better. My only advice is to pick up a camera or a guitar or a brush and just start expressing yourself via art. Its the only way people will truly understand the person that you are. People appreciate you more for some reason too when they think you're some artsy fartsy type. I just do what I do because its the only thing I CAN do, and it works.

Just hang in there, eh? You've got us. This site has helped me out tremendously. Before coming here, I felt completely alone but I don't feel that way so much anymore.

Good luck

Enigma,
AS like Kanners Autism can affect people strongly or mildly,and in different ways,but as AS tends to get seen as 'very high functioning' or 'mild',it can be hard to get people to understand that it is an official disability,and affects people differently-some severely,some being closer to NT who dont have any disabling effects,some with varied levels of ability.

Autism is not a visable condition-eg,there is no visable sign to show its there and there will always be these idiots
who think just because they cant see something visual like a hearing aid or walking stick to associate with a condition,it cant exist,so the person is making it up.
If these are people who are,and will be around a lot,perhaps refer to self as 'autistic' to them rather than just the sub label of AS,its more neutral,as it refers to all the Autistic conditions and more likely to be understood,if they are worth it,educate them on it with short but good leaflets from autistic societies,but if they are people that are not nice, and do not need to know,dont tell the,.

Also,for the difficulty with noise,there are some things to do to lower the disabling effects-if go to restaurants,or smaller shops and the music is too loud,ask them if they could turn it down because own ASD amplifies the noises in their place,pizza hut in davyhulme [manchester,england] were the last people to do this for me,own carer explained the situation and they were immediately helpful-seated us far away from a family with older kids and turned off the speakers.


If not tried already,get ear defenders [those headphone things people such as builders wear],or a pair of decent studio/DJ headphones such as the SONY MDRV700s-put earplugs in,and put the headphones over them-they both work great together for keeping sound to a minimum,cable can be put under jacket/jumper so it looks like are listening to music,more people are using headphones for getting about with now,so it doesnt look unusual,whereas wearing ear defenders can attract abuse from pathetic immature people,the smaller jack on the MDRV700s fit PSPs and mp3players if wanting to listen to music to distract from noise,me use pair of seinheisers.


About socialising,is there a big need to do it? dont force self into it and let it gradually happen,dont let other people make person feel bad for making a social screwup.

Don't be so down on yourself. AS is a very broad category of autistics. Everyone of us is an individual and a little different from the next Aspie, just like there are so many variations of being NT. You can't compare yourself to other Aspies. We've all had different life experiences, some people had extra supportive friends or family that helped them along. Also age has a lot to do with it. As you get older you learn more and more how to fit in NT society enough to work and so forth. I think also AS is harder on guys and its a bit easier to be a female Aspie and you learn to fake things better if you're female. I'm assuming you are male.

Production line work I have done before and it seems more suitable to NT's who have small brains and don't question things. If you have noise and other sensitivities industrial work can be harsh on such a person with the enormous intense stimuli. Try a different line of work and see if it suits you better.

Everyone has different opinions on this, but personally I would recommend not telling people you are autistic. Few people understand what autism or Aspergers is and if you try to tell everyone around you you will start getting treated like a ret*d, a psycho or they will point out every goofy or bad thing you do once they have something to blame it on. Otherwise many Aspies get by all their lives with no one knowing they are autistic. Be careful on labeling yourself as it can come back to bite you. Socialize only as much as you need or want and in ways where you can escape within a hour or so when you've had all the "socializing" you can stand.