ignoring the possibility? What's the worst that can happen?

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I'm starting to see I may have asd or another mental illness in my family. But I've for 20 years had to fight it because it was like suggested that by 2 teachers and one social worker. I never got tested because I'd get hysterical when my mom brought it up. But I'm kind of now like struggling in some situations and feel like my problems may be caused by me unknowingly. But I don't want to get diagnosed because for so long all I wanted was to believe that I was normal. And part of me makes me think maybe it's more environmental because like when I was 5 and under I was outgoing and very socially mature and had good verbal communication skills for my age it started to deteriorate when I was like 7 and up. So I don't know if it's that or maybe the other thing. But I don't want to be honest with a therapist because when I'm not honest org my therapists never diagnosed me so I fugureeven if I lied they should see below the surface since they didn't see anything maybe I'm ok right? Yet I know some of the things I do and think aren't normal. But sometimes when I'm preoccupied im not engaging in this stuff. advice?

Being diagnosed with ASD has been the most liberating thing that ever happened to me. I have a spent a lifetime wonder what's wrong with me and suffering from low self-esteem because of it. Since my diagnosis I have been able to make better sense of my struggles in childhood and put them into the right context. I now know myself much better and can finally live a more authentic life instead of trying to make myself into something I can never be. I think you should have yourself officially diagnosed because ignorance might be bliss, but knowledge is power.

Swiper's reply goes the same for me, exceedingly so. I too spent a lifetime fighting to be normal while agonized by the sure knowledge within myself that I was not, and now that that has been confirmed, everything makes sense and I feel relief and that I can go forward with far better understanding.