I hate school and my parents won't let me homeschool

Post Reply New Topic

I hate school to the point of tears multiple times a week, and my parents won't let me homeschool. We don't have the money for private school. I don't know what to do, I feel like I keep trying but no one cares how much pain I'm in, because school performance is apparently the only important thing in life. I will get "I had to do the same thing" or even laughing sometimes. Or its a great idea but not for us. I have tried to fix this for years to no avail. I would refuse but I dont want to get my parents in trouble. Or me. I am the goodie goodie type and don't want to disappoint people. I'm a pushover. I am immensely frustrated. I'm not going to post my age but its old enough to deserve to be taken seriosly but not old enough for any rights whatsoever. And I do know how silly and immature teenager like that sounded.

I am sorry you are having this problem. Most of us here have gone through the hell NT's call public school and bare the scars of it. I had to literally find places to Hide during the lunch period in high school and I can say the entire experience was nothing short of terrible and was pleased when it was finally at long last done with but this does not help you at all and for that I'm sorry. Try to find some social group you can at least exist on the edges of and find adults you can trust. This will not be easy and nothing anyone here can say will change this. I'm sorry.

Have you tried visiting the school psychiatrist? How about calling child services? I imagine this would likely make things worse for you than better, what worked for me is I kept yelling how I wouldn't be made to go to school and no one could make me. My parents insisted I was homeschooled after that. I honestly dont know what to suggest other then that. I know, how about having them watch the documentary Bully with them? I think it's on Netflix.
I'm kind of panicking myself because I've been where you are. If it wasn't for Marilyn Manson and Korn I'd be even more screwed up than now.

Oh, this brings back memories for me. Have you considered an online school? Many states and school districts (assuming you are in the US) have free virtual schools that are accredited. Or what about the homebound program? It's where you are still considered a student at your school and can graduate normally with your classmates, but a teacher comes to your house once a week to drop off work from your teachers, pick up completed work, and go over everything with you. I personally completed my last year and a half of high school through the homebound program, and I know I would have dropped out of school if it had not been there. I have heard that it can be hard to get into or that they want to keep people in it for the shortest time period possible, but I didn't have any problems getting or staying in. However, I did have a long, well-documented history of school refusal, meltdowns before and during school, and social problems.

Another alternative might be a charter school. They tend to be smaller than public schools, like private schools, but they are free. Just a thought. Throughout my education, I attended 5 public schools, 2 private schools, 1 magnet school, and 1 charter school. I was also homeschooled for a while. The best experience of them all was at the charter school, too bad it was only a middle school!

Good luck to you, I hope you can find a solution.

Last edited by Quill on 09 Nov 2014, 11:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hated school also, parents are right in that you just had to do it back in the day, but my problems doesn't help you. What are your problems with school? Since most of us hated it, there are people who here had the same situations as you and found ways to solve it or at least cope. I know it seems like you won't make it until the end of the day, never mind making to the end of school part of your life. But all of us here are writing to you, so we survived it.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 10 Nov 2014, 9:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I managed, with a few exceptions, to get through school. I hated phys Ed., math and shop. I was always the whipping boy in phys ed. As it came to math, it was literally Greek to me. Fortunately, shop was not required in high school. The only solace I really had was band, and. If it weren't for the fact the band director and the guidance department wouldn't allow it, choir. I'm glad I don't have to go through that he'll again.

What I did, is that I flat-out refused to go to school, of course you will get into trouble with the law, and you will have court appearances, but that's much better than potentially developing a whole set of derangement that are caused by traumatic events in childhood, and that stuff sticks with you FOR LIFE. We tend to suffer from other mental disorders alongside our condition for a very good reason.

It might be worth sacrificing that sense of honor for your parents if the other alternatives offered here don't work for you. I do hope the best of luck, I remember as a child being unable to understand why this stuff was a happening, and I couldn't perceive why life seemed to turn so dark all of a sudden. Truthfully I don't think a civilized society would have put me in that position in the first place.

I've never had home school. But I've been to public, private and boarding schools, and there all the same when it come to dealing with other kids. In fact. Catholic schools are the worst. If you think that dealing with the other kids in public school is bad. Catholic is far, far worst.

yes.. the conventional school system is definitely not catered to us environment wise or learning format wise.
I mean regardless I have a disdain for school's system of regurgitation of largely irrelevant facts and lack of critical thinking teachings or even ethical teachings.

I hope for your sake that your parents will give in and let you home school.

Back when I was in school it wasn't as popular and no one ever suggested it to my mother so it was never an option for me. I ended up having multiple family court visits over my truancy, was sent away twice, and dropped out at 16. That could have all been avoided if I could have been home schooled.

The schooling I did get from 6th grade on wasn't even like a real education since I refused to do my schoolwork a lot and was in special classes/schools that didn't have a normal curriculum.

It was more that I had problems with the other kids and just wanted to stay home than my hatred of schoolwork. I remember once during a long period of skipping school doing a whole science workbook that I had brought home.

This stood out:

Home schooling isn't free and is also a huge commitment. I'm assuming both your parents work and it is possible your family can't afford to have a parent stop work to home school you or hire someone to stay with you (assuming you're of an age where you can't legally be left alone during the working day).
If you are in secondary school it is very possible neither of your parents are comfortable teaching the current syllabus to an appropriate level. Most parents of secondary school age children will not have a clue with current teaching methods and have forgotten all the facts crammed into them years ago. Unless they work in technology, you have probably been more technologically aware than them since the age of eight.
The advice to just refuse to go is very poor. It will be flagged up to the authorities and will incur fines (money your family can't afford?) and court appearances (attention you really don't want), plus reports on your permanent record showing truancy. This never works out well. Get as much education as you can as that is the only thing that gives you options once you're an adult.
It is very hard to give full advice without knowing your age, but your best bet is to come up with a full solution you can present to your parents. A program that allows you to receive a full education that is financially viable and practical. The online learning suggestion looks your best bet. Good luck.

I have talked to the school psychologist, but I can't communicate my thoughts well enough. I feel put on the spot, stressed because I feel like if I don't get it all out I'm never going to get anywhere, and I feel like somone might hear me. I am such a pushover that even though I have refused to go before, I lose my resolve quickly since I am such a people pleaser. I also don't want to get in legal trouble. I don't want to lose my relationship with my parents. It is so hard for me to explain to people. I don't think that I'll be able to get homebound since I get good grades since I'm such a pushover, even though I'm miserable. Also in my school system if you are on homebound you can't participate in extracurricular activities or get a job. Since I like working and scouting this is an issue for me. I really don't like the crowds. I don't like how school dominates my life. I'm in late middle school. There aren't any charter schools near me. I dont like the stressof grades. I'm sorry if I sound whiny or all over the place.

It's good you talked to your school psychologist. Did he/she have any suggestions for you? If you don't feel like you explained your situation well enough, maybe you could write a letter or email to the psychologist to explain better? It might be easier for you because it isn't face to face and you'll have time to read it over and make sure it says exactly what you want it to say before you send it. Maybe you could also write or email your parents to help explain your problems with school to them, if they don't know much about them or don't understand them. I'm suggesting that because you mention not wanting to upset them or hurt your relationship.

The homebound program must be a lot different in your state, unfortunately. Here, it has absolutely nothing to do with grades. It's for kids with medical, mental or other issues that prevent them from a being able to attend school normally. You can also participate in extracurricular activities here, as long as your doctor or psychiatrist explains that it is okay and beneficial for you on the application. However, like yours, it does prevent you from having a job. That was not an issue for me as I am not able to work. Anyway, it sounds like you're right that the homebound program is not ideal for you.

What about an online school? Is that a possibility? The only downside to that is that if schoolwork and grades stress you out, it might be even more stressful for you because you have to keep track of your own assignments and due dates, pace yourself to get all of your work done on time, etc. However, you won't have any of the other stresses from school, so it might be a good tradeoff.

There are also schools called correspondence schools out there where you basically homeschool yourself using their materials and assignments. You can also use outside materials if you need help, like online teaching videos. You get your books and work mailed to your house, read and do the assignments and then mail it back in to get graded. I don't know much about these programs, though I do know you'd want to make sure the program is accepted in your state and is properly accredited so you can get into college if you want to. One example is called American School of Correspondence. They do charge, but nothing near what private schools cost. Unfortunately, this particular one only seems to be a high school. I'm not sure if they have them for middle school or not, but maybe you can find out.

Anyway, I hope you are able to find a solution and/or have a good discussion with your school psychologist and family, and hopefully they will find a way to help you out. Sorry I was so rambly there, this post is really long!

It's hard for me to give completely appropriate advice, as I do not know your age. I mean if you're still in middle school, this will not apply. However, if you are senior high school aged, at least a sophomore, I'd advise doing what I did ,which is to graduate by taking correspondence courses. In the correspondence school I was enrolled in, what is now Penn Foster High School, we completed one course at a time, and could work at our own pace to get the credits needed to graduate. In fact, a number of my fellow students also had day jobs. P.S. During my third grade year of school, before afterward being home educated, I ended up in home bound education. 1. Because I had been getting involved in fights. 2. Because I had clashed with someone who'd turned out to be connected to a prominent local political family, who acted as a school aide, along with her mother in law, who was also part of the same influential political machine, as I learned. I guess I had a rather dramatic life as a child.

I consider sending an asperger/autist to school as child abuse.

Everyone knows asperger kids are bullied at school, it's in all the scientific literature about aspergers.

Have you told your parents the specific things that are going on at school?

If you just say 'I dont like school' they may think you are being lazy as even without bullies,
The getting up early,classes and homework = no-one really likes school of course.

There are online schools that are free, just do a google search for 'free online high school'

Sweetie Your parents may not have the ability to homeschool you may need to be specially trained from what I've heard. It's not that simple. If you were really having a hard time in school you should see if psychiatrist and if you can't function in school and you have autism or some other thing like a mental illness you could do home and hospital but that's only temporary and it's a very extreme solution. I got it because I was in the hospital three times but maybe you can get it you cannot function and you feel like you're going to fail.