So, I'm starting to realize or understand almost for the same time that my brain is different than say my family, friends. Well, many things suggest that but I always try to blend in, not seem too quirky and strange, etc. But, my spouse summed it up perfectly one day how instead of me seeing what's going on on a tv show I'm narrowing in on small details that make up the picture and putting it together as so. For example: a person is talking about their relationship. He would see it as a person talking about the relationship first, and might notice things afterwards. I dart around the person taking in details like brown hair, curly, half smiling, eyes looking strange, is she mad? There is a cup in the background, and so and so. I am not sure if this explains but it's exhausting sometimes feeling like I am putting a spreadsheet of info together to come up with an interpretation of what is happening, for me to understand it.
I encounter this non-stop. It's like bits and pieces, and trying to understand it. I get overloaded in environments with lots of objects, colours, people, etc because I can't take in all the stuff. My brain reminds me of a zoom lens on a camera. I see a movement in an eyebrow, a tilt of the head, body posture change, trying to figure out why instead of just taking things in as they are to others.
Is this like everyone else? Is there a way to stop it? Is this an ASD thing or a personality (non-asd) thing? I am synesthetic as well but not sure that has anything to do with it.
I can tell you often what I noticed but not actually what happened (so when I visit my Dr for example I can tell you about his faicial reactions, body posture, the walls, the tone of voice (well, visual of it), etc and my interpretation that he thinks I "overthink" too much by some of his responses. What he was talking about though...no idea. The larger part of it is missed because my head is narrowing into details of everything. All the time. It feels exhausting.