How can I stop obsessing over my sexuality?

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I've been obsessing about my sexuality for four years. It's been driving me crazy. I just want to resolve this issue. I internally identify as gay, but I'm scared of publicly identifying as gay. Mainly because I'm scared that I'm bi or going through a phase.

I kind of want to tell people that doubt my sexuality to go fck themselves, but I'm scared I'll fall for a guy and they'll rub it in my face. I can understand why young people would go through this for a year. I don't understand why this has been going on for four f*****g years. I'm just sick of it.

I've been able to end other obsessions by acting on them. No idea how to act on this obsession. I could come out to more people. I'm just terrified I'll turn out to be bi or straight and humiliate myself. I also don't want to be a bad representation. I also notice that a lot of people dislike me after I come out to them. Even if they don't say anything that's explicitly homophobic. Maybe I should just come out to annoying people who won't leave me alone.

I know it is hard, but you should seriously try to stop caring so much about what others think about you! Maybe in a few years you will turn out to be a bisexual Muslim with Jewish roots who has a talent for learning Hebrew. If so, that's great, it will just make you an interesting person to converse with.

While coming out is not easy, you can tell people I do not feel a label for my sexuality is relevant. Gay, Bisexual, Straight, Pansexual, etc. They are all labels. As society is, it is very easy to think in black and white than different shades of grey. Coming out for me was not easy. I care too much what people think to. I think of myself as somebody who can make myself feel better. When I say that, I mean I can make sure I do stuff alone that will make me happy. I can even ponder my thoughts and my mind is free. Freeing your mind is a blessing, I am still working on it. Being you is a great person is converse with.

You're 18, so that basically makes you an adult which is why I really doubt that it's a phase. Even so, I don't see why it should matter what anyone else thinks. One of my friends came out as a lesbian to her mum, but a few years later realized she was bi. That doesn't invalidate what she feels about women. It just means she likes really feminine dudes as well, though I would say she is leaning more towards lesbianism, honestly.

If you're straight - congratulations! You are somebody who is open minded enough to explore their sexuality and try something new. I personally doubt you are straight, but even if you were, you invested a lot of time really challenging your identity and sexuality, which is a very brave thing to do in a world where even thinking about sex is still so taboo.

Don't sweat it. I think you know what you really want. Never let anyone make you feel bad about that and you don't have to "represent" anyone but yourself.

PS: being bi isn't so bad. I'm bi and I'm pretty content with it.

If you're worried about appearing confused or inconsistent I'd keep identifying as bi. Or stop identifying at all.

Ultimately though, maybe you are someone who's sexuality is difficult to label. If that's the case you can't let the fact that you've had bad experiences with people who also fit that description turn you away from accepting that you fit that description too.