Friends are outgrowing me.

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When I was around 10 years old I was more or less on the same level as my peers in terms of basic social skills and my ability to cope with the world. Then in my early and mid teens things become difficult. My friends were still going to school (I dropped out at 15), they were making friends, getting into relationships, working summer jobs.

Now I am 19 and my friends (the few ones I have left) are working full time jobs, going to college, in relationships and basically beginning to live on their own and handle an adult life. Also, their social intelligence seems to be maturing more and more and I feel like I still have the social skills of a 13 year old.

Basically, I feel like my everyone else my age is moving forward and maturing and I'm just flat-lining.
I am reasonably intelligent, but my social skills are severely lacking and I really have no idea how handle a job and become self-sufficient. Because of this it has become harder and harder to interact with people my age because I feel they have outgrown me, and I feel like this is becoming more and more apparent as the years go by.

Can anyone else relate to this?

Yeah, it sucks. My peers weren't even as successful as yours and they still moved past me, I don't know what advice to give on it and its easy in hindsight to think of ways you yourself could be better and more mature but you can't change what has already happened. I feel like I've missed out on a lot and there isn't any way to make up for it.

It is completely natural for this to occur.

I can relate. The problem for me is people claim Autism functioning labels don't matter, they mean the difference between my getting support, or having to endure other people stimming in ways that upset or frighten me to get help. I have sound sensitivity syndrome, and a fear of people who behave unpredictably. I tried to get support awhile ago and was told I could get it if I was in a Autism group. I cried for 2 days because everytime I went to an Autism group my boundaries were ignored, I couldn't say no without being lectured on how I had no right to complain from parents because their child had it worse than me.

Now I hear I'm terrible for caring about functioning levels. They helped me find other Autistics like me. Instead I wake up depressed and anxious, upset that during the time I should have been making friends I was placed in Autism support groups, my social abilities actually atrophied from being in them. You can't say no if someone touches you, they can't help it. You can't complain if someone yells, they can't help it. It's terrifying thinking about how much more isolated I'd be without the net. All because when I go to an Autism support group, I'm treated like a Aspie supremacist, because I cannot tolerate loud sudden stims.

I just keep being depressed about it, don't those parents know how much I wish I could be more tolerant? I didn't choose to be this way, why antagonize me for aversions I had no choice in having? It's not natural for this to happen. This happened because only people with severe Autism get support. Those of us who are higher functioning just keep being told our problems don't matter.

I think placing aspergers on the autism spectrum was a big fail.

You deserve better, to be with fellow aspergians.

My friends not so much actually, but then again; they're all aspies, so perhaps it's quite aspie to grow up less fast. They're all male as well, so maybe that factors in as well.

Relationships on the other hand; I've always felt that I just kept at a certain level, that perhaps with my current age is way too immature, and dating people always felt like they thought it was great to find someone who was like them (hence even at age 30, I'd end up with 20 year olds) but eventually they grow more responsible and I just remain myself without any notion of needing to change.

I feel I've kinda leveled or "plateaud" in the sense that I feel that the way I am, the social skills I have, all of that, are actually the cards I'm being dealt with on a daily basis. I just have to make do with these. I'm fine with that, but it seems people just want to see change. I don't have much issues with social skills. Responsibilities and living like any other 30-something year old might be a different matter. I felt that ever since my teens the notion that one has to act his age, already failed miserably. In my teens, when people my age dated, I still bought and played with lego (yet still, I lost my virginity 17, which isn't that late compared to some; even not on the spectrum). Perhaps I'm quite free in just dropping age stereotypes in general and act a bit more "timeless".

I can relate.
Friends have careers, are married with children, living in their own houses....
I'm living at home, currently unable to work due to SSRI Withdrawal, and learning how to live with emotions. My social skills seem to have got worse and I've got so many sensitivities that the world is quite challenging. Part of me just wants to become a hermit.

Yes, but having lots of responsibilities is not the same thing as having an active social life.

I personally liked working for others, because of the established routine, being engaged, and away from my family.

But, very-sociable, distractable people reported that they hated it.

I am sorry to hear this, and also sorry to admit that it is probably a familiar experience to a number of us here. Friends began to really outdistance me in social / emotional maturity in middle school, and the gap continued to widen for quite a while.

One thing that I have observed in my adulthood is that even for people without ASD, friendships seem to shift quite a lot. People who are single often don't hang out with their married friends as much; and people with kids don't hang out with their childless friends as often. When my son was born, it was shocking to me how quickly all my older friends, whose kids were grown, disappeared into the woodwork; the last thing they wanted was to be around a baby again. But I could not relate to other parents my age.

Now, I don't have many peer-group friends. I act much more like my college-aged students, but can't really befriend them because it would not be professional. Many of my close friends are much older, because they appreciate my youthfulness and they have the ability to overlook a lot in the way of eccentricity, because they all have "quirks" themselves. It makes me laugh, because I got in trouble in middle school because I always wanted to hang out with older kids (who regarded me as a smart kid sister to take care of) or younger kids (who looked up to me still). My parents and teachers insisted I would need "peer group" friends. Well, that lesson really didn't stick... Beggars can't be choosers, as they say...

(Please pardon my typing; there were disturbances)

I mainly felt that most people tend to be more introverted or extroverted. In my way of thinking, it's a descriptor, or adjective -- not a pathology.

To me, noone would outpace you at being, say, blond, freckled, or running chilly.

Several of my high school teachers were like that, fwiw.

One controversially married a student, but on the up-and-up.

It's not expressly against the rules. So, there were no repercussions.

I can kinda relate too. My friends have careers, houses, starting to have kids, and I've never even been in a relationship and am still making just above minimum wage and have never lived on my own. My room mates are thinking about moving out of state, and I'm kinda freaking out about it because there's no way I could afford to stay in the house we're currently living in if they move. I honestly don't know if I'd actually be able to live on my own.

I completely understand. It was so easy when you could be friends with someone just because you both had the same lunch box (my best friend in 1st grade). Now, you have to be "mature" and "not talk only about movies." Everyone has boyfriends (some are getting married!); they are working or can live by themselves with out having 1,000 sticky notes around their dorm.

Thankfully, I've found a best friend who is just as immature as me. She just learned how to drive, doesn't have a job yet, and loves poop jokes! My other friends like me for my immaturity because it can be so spontaneous and fun. They like me because, apparently, I'm "awesome" for being "like a child" (???). Some people stopped being friends with me for this, other left because I was too weird to handle.

I don't know how old you are, but I'm 19 and a freshman in college, so it's not that important to have a job or be completely self-sufficient. My advice would be to find friends who are just as weird as you, accepting of you, and are able to help you out in tough situations.

It was hard for me. I had great friends but my stuttering and anxiety were severe. No matter how much I liked them and they liked me back there was a barrier there. At least when we were young our interests were basically the same. We'd play Super Smash Bros. and Halo and other multiplayer games. I loved using the rocket launcher on Halo. It was so cheap. Massive blast radius. The sword was fun too. Me and my friends had a lot of great times but I was never able to relax and fully connect like I knew they did with each other.

Then as we got older our interests changed some. I became more into movies and shows. Many of them started having a girlfriend and working. It was clear their life was moving forward and mine wasn't. At about this time I was lucky enough to get a new friend. One who was a bit younger and perhaps more of an introvert than my friends before. We'd marathon Supernatural while eating brownies and then play Halo. Once he told me that I was the only one who understood him.

I love all the friends I've ever had. Because it meant something to me to have a friend. Whether it was for a moment or for years. I think for a lot of us on the spectrum it can get harder as we get older. But that doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who'd be lucky to have you as a friend.

I can absolutely relate. I turned 21 just weeks ago, and I'm stuck in pretty much the same position I've been in since I was 18. No job, no high school diploma, no drivers licence, and I'm not even living on my own. I want to remedy this by going back to school and learning how to live on my own out of a dorm room, but my chances of being able to attend school in the upcoming semester just seem to be getting slimmer and slimmer. I need to find a big break, and I need to find it fast.

A lot of my "friends" (well, people who used to be my friends, since I don't see them much anymore) have cars, girlfriends, steady jobs, and high school diplomas. Many of them are working on pursuing post-secondary schooling and careers. Some have even moved out of their parent's houses and started living on their own.

Even though I'm technically not living with family, the family I'm living with pretty much treats me as an adopted son. I help out a bit around the house, but it's not like I pay the bills or do the cooking. Some would say I have it good, but I hunger for independence.

I understand what you are saying because i have this sensation sometimes.
Whenever i see someone from school they are always going on trips, dating, marrying, having kids, making a lot of friends, stopped playing video games (or at least it's not their main hobby)... And i am static in the same position and with the same habits that i used to have when i met them (7~8 years ago). Most of the times it doesn't bother, but sometimes it worries me a little bit when i think about it.

I know how that is, I am pratically in my mid twenties and had not accomplished much of anything. I cannot even get any sense of indetity or knowing much of my mental skills (if they exist. However its both on my end since I generally do not want to bother being in the system since the majority of people had treated me very poorly most of my life and so does the system.

Even when I tried to bother to get help, people and the staff always switch things around, saying things to get my mind out of tasks and along with other people as well. I simply cannot cope with any of that since there is not much of a point in my way.

It's sort of like you are trying ot get into a club in a island and there is only only club in the island. You are not allowed inside the club and everyone there has clubs to beat you if you bother to try along with cameras to buy every move.

This club also has the food supplies, there is an apple tree on the back along with a chicken coop.

You can try but they can always bash you down since the majority of people act like animals and will attack you.

However knowing this system and level of fake politics we are simply stuck in this cycle of hatred.