At what age did your symptoms start?

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My sister is trying to tell me I am not an aspie because I didn't show any negative symptoms until I was about 11-12

When did your negative symptoms start?

According to my relatives, I was a baby. I don't know if I have all my facts straight, but my family says I stimmed/rocked, did not like to be touched, did not like loud noises or certain textures. I had early language development, no speech delay. At the time, they didn't know what was wrong and AS wasn't a diagnosis.

I have no relatives from when I was a child, so I can't really be certain but I do know that for as long as I can remember I have felt like a stranger in the world.

The symptoms were always there. There were problems in my earliest playground and birthday party interactions with other kids. The extreme interests were noted as soon as I was able to express preferences.

But a survey of WP members isn't going to change a thing that you should bear in mind: your sister is correct by definition.

You can read the full diagnostic criteria here: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html

The pertinent criterion is C:


If you have ASD-like symptoms but they did not show at all before 11-12, and it isnt the case that they were there but masked in some way, then you should consult with professionals about possible alternative diagnoses. There are other conditions that might look like ASD and might make you think you are autistic but which are different in key ways. Yours is a situation in which self diagnosis is a bad idea.

Oh, I can remember being extremely distressed about birthday parties as a child. I'd go to great lengths in order to not be invited. I'm not much different now.

Come to think of it, I think I've lived my whole life in avoidance. It's amazing how I've come this far and been largely undetected when I think about it.

I would assume, when I was a child. I mean, I can't remember but reading the dcfs reports and hearing what others thought of me as a child, makes me think that my symptoms started when I was very very young. One thought... I was the first person in my family to rock (back and forth) and my siblings started doing it after I did... so clearly I was self-soothing by rocking when I was a toddler.

I don't know exactly, but I had a language delay until the age of 5. Had my hearing tested because of it. There were other signs in early childhood, too, but I have absolutely no personal memory of any of them. I didn't engage with my mum and wasn't affectionate to her, for example.

I think I must have been about 7 or 8 when it was pointed out to me (by other kids of course) that I jumped up and down a lot. Also twirling round and round has always been something I've done.

I can also remember being very young and being fascinated with watching things spin. I had one of those spinning top things and yo yo's too.

I'm still fascinated by watching things spin. In my 20's I can remember setting the washing machine on purpose just so I could sit on the kitchen floor and watch it spin round and round.

I didn't even think it was odd because I'd always just done these types of things.

I remember telling a girl I knew about what I liked to do and she gave me a funny look, but she was still ok with me. It was then that I decided I best not tell people about such things.

Self awareness is a bastard.

My traits started to show when I was 2 and a half. I was first diagnosed at the age of 5.

I've known I was different for as long as I can remember.

1-2 years.

I don't know if it is a sign of autism in babies,
but my parents recognized already shortly after my birth that I was withdrawn and not reacting to people unlike my older brother did who is not autistic and other children.

My symptoms appeared during infancy. I hated being picked up, I didn't like cuddling, I didn't come when my parents called my name (I knew the name referred to me, just not why I was supposed to respond to it), I had problems learning to wait for my turn, I had obsessive interests, I had fine motor problems, and one of my favourite activities was spinning the wheels on the vacuum cleaner (I called the wheels "lol").

This is one of the pitfalls of self-diagnosis for me. I can't 100% say I am on the spectrum in and of myself. I had "hints" early on: food issues, eating ice all the time, afraid of blow-up things after a birthday party (balloons and pool toys), couldn't stand water or soap on my face after getting into some laundry detergent (these fears had obvious triggers and I think show an early susceptibility to PTSD-like symptoms which I definitely have now), but slept well, was social and socially responsive. At age four I developed some perseverative anxiety which progressed into full-blown OCD by age 6. I was very bossy and controlling of the other kids my mom babysat, I was "mean" to the cat. I only played with My Little Ponies and stuffed animals and had repetitive play patterns; I had issues starting and stopping playing, trying to figure it out and pick up a momentum in elementary school. I collected rocks and had a brief fancy with triceratops. I had severe problems when I started kindergarten. I still remember the sounds and smells and sights. It scared me and made the OCD all worse. My grandma says I was "scared of my own shadow" when I was little. I know as early as kindergarten I was looking at the sky for comfort: the light ripples or flutters outside. I think I was scared of people's faces, too. My grandparents told my mom I needed to be seen by someone so I was taken to a counselor for a short while, until the OCD and bizarre fears calmed down. By the end of kindergarten, I'd gotten better and learned to tolerate school. I had a period of relative normalcy at school anyway until fourth grade. I was in a very small school from fourth grade until seventh grade, in one building, only one to four teachers, with only 9-12 students per grade level and they were almost the same kids every year, but I was beginning to fail socially at school by seventh grade especially (other kids had grown intolerant and were moving on to do what most girls do, like obsessed with hair and clothes and boys, and the whole social ladder which I had very little interest in and thought was stupid); it was very, very painful. The other kids thought I was annoying. I was always awkward. At home I played between one and three "songs" on the piano over and over again and was very good at them, at putting emotion into them. I didn't need any other songs to play. I remember my sister rolling her eyes and telling me I wasn't a "real" piano player because I only played a few songs. I thought it was pointless to learn one piece after another just for the sake of one after another. I have always had very happy spells and at home I'd laugh and pace and flap (I am pretty sure I flapped because I do that even now and it was one of the things that made me scared of myself, like I was too happy when I shouldn't be), in my own little world, imagining friends I didn't have.

By the time I was in eighth grade, more than just social and sensory issues were showing. Everything went into a tail spin: severe OCD, obessions with a certain actress, a certain TV show, trouble understanding peers (I still remember it was like speaking a foreign language even though it was the language I grew up with), anxiety, depression, rigid thinking, black and white thinking, very controlling at home as far as food went or which store we went to, eye contact became painful or more awkward, perseverative thinking, hyperfocus, temper tantrums/meltdowns at home. I think it was mostly set off by changing schools and going to a large public school. I didn't even know I was having a problem with the change. I tried to blame it all on culture-shock at the time, but I no longer think so. The other kids I knew who'd come from the same school I did into public schools, had not had these issues. I remember my eighth grade English teacher telling me I need to "loosen up", and suggesting that I dress a bit more like the other kids. I remember the other kids laughing at me for doing the things I thought were right and for the things I said. It was harsh. Then I really messed up a sort-of "friendship" that I won't go into. I am still embarrassed by it.

Anyway, I went to high school determined to "fit in" without compromising my values and beliefs, but I was severely depressed, had bad sensory issues (I now recognize), obsessional interests, perseverations, OCD, and severe anxiety. I had some friends at school, one that I kept, others that I alienated, and others that just didn't last. I didn't have problems telling if someone was being mean to someone else or if they were alluding to someone else in a hateful way, but I had problems telling if they were being "real" with me or not. I look back now, and strongly suspect people were "playing with me" more often than I realized. I was seen as being "sweet" and "innocent" by the other kids. I know my teachers knew there was something very wrong (depression and abysmal or fragile social skills) and so did the nurse, but I think people just think the parents are taking care of things and don't do anything about it, especially if the student is passing their classes and is talking in other classes. I had a boyfriend in senior year; that was interesting.

I had severe social issues in church settings and in settings outside of school with peers, ever since I was in elementary school. Shutdowns and mutism in church up until now even. The mutism is mostly gone now.

By college, well, it just kept going on and on and got worse again. That is too depressing and angering and painful for me to relive in writing now.

I spoke with, or rather wrote about, my history to a therapist and she agrees with me thinking that I have AS and I have had other people who have kids on the spectrum tell me when we talk about it or as they are around me more that they think I do have it. My husband thinks I do. My mom is slowly starting to acknowledge it. My sister denies it. I strongly suspect my mom has it and my father is almost "text-book" (the hospital wouldn't acknowledge AS or ADHD in him because he was "too old").

Sorry for the wall of text. I don't know how to make it more succinct. There is so much that goes into answering your question about how old the "negative" symptoms started. And there are things in my case that seem to contradict an ASD diagnosis, but I read others here who are diagnosed and can do the same things, things you aren't supposed to be able to do if you have an ASD. I am not really a textbook case and part of that I think is that I had a very strong social drive when I was younger. I think extroversion can mask things just because the stereotype is that of an introverted person. I learned to be introverted to protect myself from other people and to protect other people from myself. I hated myself for the way I was.

I need a professional to tell me if I am seeing something that isn't there, but I don't know if I will ever get up the nerve to find someone with enough knowledge of how subtle this can be in girls or if it's something else. I think it would take someone with lots and lots of knowledge and experience to parse all of it out. I didn't write it all here, though it looks like it I think I have what Tony Attwood calls "subclinical AS", where it comes out to bite you and kill you when things go wrong, but lurks under the surface always and I am always mentally fighting through it every day. I think I "fly under the radar" or most people don't suspect me simply because they don't know anything much about AS.

Slenkar, are you self-suspecting, self-diagnosed, or professionally diagnosed?

I had late language development, very visual, always observing the world around me, when i did speak it was one word sentences repeated in a cyclic manner, up until age 13 i didn't speak in full sentences or so my parents joked. my parents still to this day tease me about taking everything literally. Having an extremely calming and gentle presence worked very well in my favor. Lots of love all around, troubling times with my father but made it out okay. Various cognitive issues through school, trouble with math, writing and listening, relating to peers. ocd destroyed me around age 19...now medicated and still recovering at 26. In a fairly good state of mind.

Last edited by geometrictunneling on 08 Dec 2014, 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think I had a delay in my speech development but I do have mutism that was present from a very early age.