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MonochromeMatryoshka
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11 Jan 2015, 7:56 am

In my friend group, there's 3 guys and 4 girls. We were going to have a pizza party together (minus one of the lads, he didn't want to come) and everyone had permission until the day before the party... then both of the lads say they actually can't come. In our DM on instagram, one the guys starts getting pretty upset about how his mom came in and said "You can't go, because I know you'll be bored. They'll just be doing makeup like they did with *sister's name*". Then later, she came into his room and asked if he was disappointed about not being aloud to go, and said she'd make up for it with a LADS night. That's cutting half of our group out... If he couldn't go, then the other guy wouldn't get permission since his parents are strict and so on...

The first lad's mom has some weird rules (he can start dating when he turns 14 yet he can't have female friends) but some are explainable since he's the youngest child and his dad died when he was 11...

Anyone got advice for the situation?



LoveforLoki
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11 Jan 2015, 8:10 am

Well does he have autism as well?

If so what she is doing is going to cause him to be even more socially awkward.
He needs to be able to explain this to her, maybe he could talk to a teacher or councilor about this and they can have a meeting with her. But he needs to be strong and address the situation before it escalates.


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MonochromeMatryoshka
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11 Jan 2015, 6:09 pm

No, he's not on the spectrum at all. He said he wouldn't go to the lads night unless we could ALL come, but she basically pulled a "be that way".

He literally lives 5 mins away, so maybe his mom would be ok with it if she knew me?



Fnord
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11 Jan 2015, 6:39 pm

Advice? Leave it alone.

In another 4 years, he will be legally entitled to make his own decisions. By then, even she will have realized how messed up his social life is due to her interference, especially if word got back to her somehow that all of her son's peers have suddenly distanced themselves and labelled him a "Momma's Boy".

But right now, the situation is his to deal with, right?



Spiderpig
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13 Jan 2015, 3:42 pm

Fnord wrote:
By then, even she will have realized how messed up his social life is due to her interference, especially if word got back to her somehow that all of her son's peers have suddenly distanced themselves and labelled him a "Momma's Boy".


I wouldn’t hold my breath for that to happen. She can just as easily blame it on her son for not having enough innate social skills. In addition, she can argue that, since she acted perfectly within her rights, nothing that happens to her son can be her fault, and take offence at any suggestion to the contrary.

I don’t know to what extent this is related to autism, but the thing which surprises me the most about people in general so far is their impressive ability to disregard reason when it gets in their way. I’m sure they do it with a truly clear conscience.


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slenkar
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13 Jan 2015, 7:34 pm

How often do you all meet? maybe she doesnt like him being out so much
not being able to date until 14 is pretty generous really