How do you make freind's ?

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how do you make friends if you have bipolar and autism ?

By being yourself, seeking out others with common interests and lifestyles and joining them in activities both of you find enjoyable.

I'd say, slowly. Don't rush into it. Unfortunately, autistic people can attract bullies so it is important to be selective. Don't just allow anyone to push themselves into your life and don't be too eager to have a friend. Friendship takes time and it is better to have no friends than an abusive 'friend'.

Socializing in settings with people (like Church or a group of some kind) where you are one of the bunch and can talk to a lot of people. Often autistic people find that people choose them. A person will attach themselves to you and they might not be very nice. Often they are aggressive or insecure and they are looking for an 'easy' person that doesn't intimidate them. Often autistic people come across as shy and non-threatening (first impressions). So make sure not to get cornered by one person who wants you to sit with and talk with them. ie: Smile politely and just walk away from them and go stand beside some other people or that person will make you their official 'dingy' or survival mat and that is a user relationship. It is best to talk with lots of different people in the social setting or just move about and listen and add a few words here and there.

I remember this woman did this to me and one day I decided to walk with some other people during lunch (she was invited to come along too) and this woman refused and was angry and started pouting; it was weird, like she thought she owned me! I've had other bad experiences too. One girl paired up with me (it was a school program) and she was horribly rude. She humiliated me in public, making me the brunt of the joke and was acting arrogant but it was an act; she was really insecure and was using me. She didn't do very well when I stopped pairing up with her. Those sort of relationships are not relationships or friendships at all. There has to be mutual respect.


Really watch the person's behaviour at the beginning of the relationship. Do they interrupt you all the time? Do they talk constantly about themselves and never ask about you? Also be wary of people who ask too many personal questions; emotional intimacy takes time. Be wary of someone who tells you too much about themselves too soon. Ask yourself, do you anything in common with this person? Are you happy when you are around them? Can you go to a movie and have fun? Friendship isn't just about having fun-a true friend is there for you through the good and bad but that sort of friendship takes time. When you befriend someone, you should not go immediately into 'helper' mode where you rescue them and they shouldn't play rescuer with you-some are always trying to 'save' the other person and that is not healthy.

So take it slow and be choosy. Find the right friend.

As an autistic individual, it has also been really hard for me to make good friends. Sure I can make really good acquaintances at places like school and the like. But its really hard for me to find people with similar interests and can be patient and understanding with someone like me.

I don't. XD I mean, I've had acquaintances throughout. College was a relatively flourishing time in my life socially. I've lost good friendships for no real reason in particular (well, we ended up dating and breaking up). But we had been friends for four years prior to that. So it's all about maintenance, and also accepting that many friendships will fall apart or not happen no matter what you do, and that due to the ever-changing dynamics of social relationships, it will require you to continually seek new friends when that happens.

I mean, it's always going to be somewhat of a roller coaster. Ironically, I've found there to be a lot of bipolar-Aspie couples, in fact one of my ex's recently was diagnosed with bipolar, and my former roommates were a bipolar-Aspie couple. So maybe there's a dynamic there that you can use to your advantage.

Ever heard of meetup.com? It may not be popular in your area, but I'm fortunate to be in a town that has many opportunities to meet people this way. There's also dating sites like OkCupid, which can be good for making friendships even, and they tend to work out as they're more biased toward the one-on-one side. Also, I am part of a local Asperger therapy group and I would encourage you to see if your/a psychologist would be interested in heading a weekly session for those on the high-functioning side of the spectrum.

Good luck! Feel free to message me if you ever need someone to chat.