January20 wrote:
Hello,
I am a 44-year-old female living in Chicago and now recognize my atypical neuro behavior as being Aspergers. I have also noted that the older I have gotten the worse my socializing abilities have become. This is likely because in my primary and secondary years (1st grades through college), most of my peers were also single and in the same social boat as I was. Grades 1-12 mostly sucked because of the need to form cliques, a degree of bullying and being misunderstood; the fact that I was considered attractive and smart is what enabled to me to survive those grades. College and beyond was better because we were all trying to make friends and get to know people who were in school by choice (generally) from all over the place and our pasts were not necessarily known. I was anonymous in college and in my jobs there after. We engaged in partying and study groups with a purpose. No one, including myself, noticed that I did not form close or intimate social bonds with them nor did I invite them to my home or to go out for coffee, etc. Eventually, as we aged (>30), most adults have a set group of family, friends and/or coworkers that they connect with. I on the other hand found it increasingly difficult to maintain a social connection with friends and family as I aged. It is like I cannot tolerate the drama or social negotiations involved in forming cliques at work or between friends. When I meet woman that I may want to build a friendship with, I tend to find crazy, unstable woman that are usually manipulative and emotionally draining for me. I prefer people who are low key, cool, calm and collected on a regular basis and not interested in group think dynamics. I also noted that I cannot tolerate being manipulated by others, particularly female coworkers or narcissistic males, which often leads to me getting extremely upset. Like with the Incredible Hulk, nobody wants to see me get angry and nobody expects the degree of rage that I express.
Anyway, I look forward to meeting people in the threads and hopefully find local groups to connect with in Chicago. I wish everyone out there, who is struggling to understand who they are or why they do the things they do, HOPE! I feel like it is hope and faith that has gotten me this far in life. I also recognize that there is always someone, who is worse off than I am when I want to throw myself a pity party. Whenever I think that I cannot tolerate my lonely life anymore something comes along to bring me hope. It is not easy but life is worth living for me. My plan is to give more of myself through volunteerism and participating in professional and social groups that support causes and ideals that I believe in.
I know this post is a little old but I thought I would give it a shot. I'm here in Chicago as well in the same situation. I am from the South Side of Chicago and recently diagnosed though I have lived as knowing being autistic or rather having Aspergers my entire life.
I'd like to talk more if your interested. Not sure if this place has private messages but let me know if your on google hang outs or what not
20 Jan 2015, 5:48 pm
My aunt's daughter lives in Chicago, that would be a place I would like to visit.
