Aspie woman in love... help me with signs of interest?

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Hi.

I recently rekindled with my first love from 6 years ago. I was his first love too. Our relationship was the most intense we ever had. I broke up after a year because I was going through a hard time and was not ready for a relationship.

For the past 6 years, my feelings for him never really changed. I still cared for him and I think I was in love with him for the longest time to this day. Not a day went by where I haven't thought about him.

There were some times throughout the past 6 years where we would try and rekindle, but they were the wrong times. For example, he tried to rekindle with me at some point but I already had a new boyfriend so he backed off. We eventually broke up and I tried to rekindle with him a year after that happened but he already had a new girlfriend. So I backed off and eventually got a new boyfriend.

Well 3 months ago he and his girlfriend broke up, and my boyfriend and I broke up recently too. Then we added each other on social media last week, stayed up and had a really long conversation the night we added each other. It was the first real conversation we had in 6 years. He told me about his life, he asked about my life. He told me about how he became a better person, about how he is no longer bitter like in the past. I connected with that and that's where we hit it.

Then he told me that he was planning to deactivate his profile before we added eachother, but because of me he won't anymore. He doesn't have much friends on there. He only has 10. Then he asked for my skype and my number. Is this a sign he likes me? (he recently moved away so we're currently apart in distance.) I also went through his facebook and saw some statuses from last year that was about me. I went through is pictures too, and moments later he edited everything and his albums.

We talked more for a few days but today and yesterday he was a bit distant. He would message me hi how are you, hi how are you doing, and I would reply but he wouldn't reply after that. Is this a bad sign or is he trying not to be creepy? (I ask this because I remember a long time ago he would sometimes withdraw to avoid being creepy.)

I'm autistic, and get this. So is he! He is autistic and has ADHD. I really love everything about him. I always have for 6 years. But I am scared, so scared, to screw this up or misunderstand his intention. He has no idea I'm in love with him and I have no idea how he feels about me because I suck at reading hints. I don't want to ruin this by being creepy. I am shy and awkward. I am so deeply in love with this man, that I am already fantasizing about him and I often find my heart beating hard when I think of him before bed.

I noticed a small pattern.

It could be something.

He seems to be attempting to portray himself in a more positive light. He may believe that he's failed to do so.


I believe that the feelings are mutual. I would guess that he's a shy personal person as well.

You are probably better at touchy-feely stuff than he is.


I'm an optimistic romantic, keep that in mind when i say:


Here's a suggestion: Get in the same room as him. It should resolve this.

That is all.

-LeLetch

I will give you the same advice i gave my best friend.

"You love that (individual). You will have regrets if you don't either marry them or burn the relationship into the ground."

He's very happy right now.

*shrug*

I think this is good advice. I have taken it myself and continue to take it despite the repercussions.


Others may recommend more reasonable courses of action.


I recommend that you contrive an excuse to see him.
It seems that you want him to make the first move.
This might not be realistic. You guys both have autism, right? Autistic people are more fearful as far as i can tell. I read sciency things. It's complicated, and i won't pretend that i understand it.

You won't get a no, i don't think.

Your past history is probably just muddling the issue with chronic autistic-style over-thinking.

Consider wearing something revealing. Autistic people may be dense, but not THAT dense. This will only work if you contrive an excuse to see him.

I assume you have mutual friend. Your excuse is: "I'm worried about our mutual friend. It's difficult to me to talk about over text. I like coffee/tea."

Have babies.

Happy ending.

Win.

(It's possible... er... maybe)

Your advice is great... except he recently moved away and we're apart in long distance. (like, really lonoooog distance.) And I am in college right now. But I suppose I'll try to find a way around to do that somehow regardless of how nervous to death I am. Because you are so right about being in person. It always worked perfectly in person when it comes to us both. The distance makes this situation difficult.

Long-distance?
Ugh.
I did that.
It's terrible.
I will no longer torture myself like that. I can't do it.

I wouldn't wish it on you unless it's reasonable for you to live in the same city as this man in the near-future, once college is over, or whatever.

When i say reasonable, it has to be a city in which you both have lived previously.

I fear this will turn out poorly. I'm going for a smoke. I don't recommend it as an addiction. Coffee works better.

-LeLetch

!

Wow, long distance & closing the gap is VERY troublesome.

Take care to look at your happiness first.
Have you always wanted to live in your region?
The university that you're at, have you longed to study there?
Is the course you're on only available there, or better there?

If you shifted, would it be more expensive to study & live?
Would there be a massive cost in shifting?

Financial & stresses can be very burdensome on relationships.

Also how much will you be set back if you're rejected?
Would you have to move back? Would you have to wait a year before re entering university again?
The last thing you want is to arrive back feeling bad AND have a your life set back.

He may have not been actively pursuing you because he knew he was possibly going to move away.

Also if he eventually moved back, he would have to review all of the above factors.
The last thing you want is him putting his dreams on hold or moving to a place that he didn't want to, then getting angry at your for it.
Sometimes moving to a hot or cold place can even put a downer on peoples outlook on life.
This film illustrates it perfectly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuDpU1vzekE