Looking for insight on long silent friend

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I've probably mentioned this before, but I've had a friend with aspergers who hasn't contacted me in two months, and I miss her like crazy, but I'm scared of contacting her again in that I feel it may be overwhelming or at this point would only make things worse.

I met her a year ago at college, where we become friends over me looking out for her because she had a stalker on campus, and I ended up quickly developing a crush on her that seemed to have mostly gone over her head. Eventually before she moved away in the Summer I almost confessed, but stopped and it's been ambiguous if she knew. We met again on Holloween when she came to visit her brother.

Now it seems that she's been quiet for a long time, and even blocked me at facebook at one point in the middle of December. I do have mild PDD-NOS, but I looked really hard and couldn't find anything that could have triggered her leaving, other than me getting a little paranoid at the time and her having stress perhaps since it was around finals time, and there was a lot of snow there as well. I did leave a text kinda explaining how I felt around the end of the year and to feel free to contact me back, but I never got a reply. I just kinda wonder now, what's gonna happen?

I mean, I don't even wanna think she's gone from my life, but if waiting isn't going to help at this point, I feel unless I just end up making her more uncomfortable, I just would wanna contact her and go for broke, if I was already screwed for the time being. It was just so sudden, just a month after we'd met again in person. I do know she doesn't wanna hurt people, to where she's lied and kept secrets a couple times to try and avoid hurting my feelings. She even said she doesn't like to listen to recommended music from people because if she doesn't like it she doesn't wanna hurt their feelings about it.

It just hurts more that there's absolute silence, I just wish she'd say she's there, that she'd acknowledge I still exist to her, that she's not just trying to erase me from her life. I know most likely it hurt, and quite possibly still hurts to talk to me, but I feel like I'm more scared of not knowing what happened and never having closure on the situation or some hope of making change, of rebuilding what quickly became the closest in person friendship I've ever had really, so quickly like that. I just want to get as much painful stuff outta the way so I can find some peace, maybe the truth could set me free, maybe I could recover something. I just wonder when, if ever, it'd be appropriate to say anything. I just feel this desire in my gut, but I just don't know if it's right. I'm right on the fence, and I'm worried about the consequences both ways, plus how there's so much I don't know or understand.

I wanna understand to regain some sense of security in understanding and not dwelling on the why, and I want to do whatever is right for her most of all, I'm just scared what that means for our friendship, and how long I'd have to find myself remembering so often how she's not there, even when I try so hard to move forward.

I really would like some advice. I'm sorry if I sound obsessive, I mean you guys don't really know me and how much knowing someone with her liveliness and depth affected me and the way I see things. She's just meant a /lot/ in my life emotionally, and the time I've known her has been probably the most impactful and happy time of my life.

All we can do is reach out openly. It's up to others whether they choose to meet our grasp.

Hey SeeingEyeButterfly.

This is a tough one...and I'm a bit confused. You mentioned earlier that you hurt her. How so? You said that you sent her a text explaining how you felt. What do you mean by that? I don't know what she's thinking, so let me venture some guesses: 1) Maybe she knows that you want a romantic relationship, but she is unsure of her feelings, so she'd rather avoid the situation all together and move on with her life. 2) Maybe she knows that you want a romantic relationship, but she feels differently/wants to be just friends. However, she believes that you aren't willing to settle for a friendship (and from your post, that's how it appeared to me). Can you genuinely be happy for her if she got a boyfriend who wasn't you?

Again, these are all guesses, so I can be totally off base. If you want closure, then call her/text her one more time simply saying "Hey. It's been awhile. How are you?" If she responds, then great. If she doesn't respond within a reasonable time, then there's your closure.