Am I an aspie? Please read!

Post Reply New Topic

Please respond:
Ok so for about two weeks now I've been obsessing about whether I have aspergers or not. I have a cousin who does and his mom, my aunt doesn't believe I do. I also see symptoms in my 4 year old and 9 year old, but it's too overwhelming to think of going to the psychiatrist for all three of us!! Geez. Also I will say I was addicted to pain pills and anxiety pills for roughly 9 years, I've been clean 2 years and all my issues are back...but it feels worse..maybe BC of the ocd aspect. Also, I had a somewhat traumatic child hood BC my mother was an addict, possibly bipolar, and neglectful. Ok so here's what's going on with me:

Definite ocd. I have intrusive thoughts, I'm a clean freak, can't leave house unless everything is in it's place. When I like a song it will play over and over in my head. I've been googling aspergers, ADHD, ocd, SPD obsessively. I go back and forth with what I think.

SPD: I can remember having sensory issues my whole life. I hate chalky things, hate being barefoot on a unfinished floor. Plates rubbing together. Certain tones of voice, especially if I'm tired. I will rub my hands together if I'm excited. And I rub my hands together and kind of make a shivering face sometimes when I use the bathroom (wonder if it's a coping mechanism from when I was a kid, knew I had to do in private? Maybe? I don't freaking know)
I startle very easily, and I prefer comfortable clothes. Still will dress cute, but can't stand anything overly tight.

Social Anxiety: I love people, never had problems making friends. Just keeping them because I get overwhelmed with a lot of social events. I can enjoy small talk and gossip but do get uncomfortable when it's time to get off phone, or when there is breaks of silence. I get a little uncomfortable with eye contact, and am very insecure about how I'm talking, what I have talked about etc. I will beat myself up after socializing if I feel like I embarrassed myself etc. I can get overwhelmed by in really loud or chaotic situations and feel confused etc. Get very nervous when I have guests. Want my house to be perfectly clean or feel insecure. Can't share or speak in front of a group of people, anxiety gets so bad, it feels like an out of body experience.

Hyperactivity: I feel that I'm shy BC of my anxiety but friends and loved ones disagree. I'm hyper and can be fun to be around. When I was a kid I could
Be overly hyper and in people's personal space. Now when I get excited I may dance or sing or play silly games with my kids.

School years: Could read college level in 5th grade, husband is amazed how I can spell most words. Used to love to write, pretty good at it. Interested in biology, psychology, paleontology (as a kid) Did ok in school but teachers always said I had more potential. I was accused of staring more than most, I was just zoned out. Never did too well in math.

What is worst: The ocd, obsessing, the anxiety, feeling overwhelmed by a task on the calendar (no big deal once I do it) The feelings of insecurity when I have someone over and the way I beat myself up after conversations about what I did wrong. Being impatient and a perfectionist.

I really need your all's advice on what's going on with me!! ! I'm feeling very overwhelmed..if you read all of this thank you, I feel better getting it out. Please help me figure out what's wrong with me so I can be a better mom and person. Oh yeah I'm definitely affectionate and have no problems with I love yous. But please someone give me some insight BC I'm spending way too much time worrying myself sick. Please!! ! ! ! ! !

You no I don't know that I really can tell you about yourself but I can tell you about myself. One of the main things that stuck out was the intrusive thoughts. I have had these as long as I can remember. Some disturbing and don't know where they come from. I am not so much ocd and it sounds like you are. I am so routine driven it is not even funny and when it goes wrong I am so off. My diagnoses was about 3 months ago and have been on here and trying to read things to help me learn more about it. I have been struggling for many years and finally am starting to feel better about things. In social settings there are a lot of times I just want to keep to myself.

The thing I would recommend is to go find a good dr and talk to him. But for one thing is that you know yourself better than anyone else. So if you think you possibly could and it sounds like you are then just go find out. Hope that helps.

It seems to me that being able to make friends easily might disprove Asperger's. It seems more likely that you have social anxiety and maybe SPD. But yes, get a professional diagnosis.

I don't see "Aspie."

If you happen to be Aspie, it's not like there's a a Scarlet Letter attached to you. It's just something to deal with, like many things in life.

In my opinion the ASD spectrum has gotten too broad -in this day in age you'd probably get Asperger's diagnosis based on what you're describing but you may not actually be affected by any type of Autism in reality.

Some people are just "different" but that doesn't mean they're on the spectrum.

To have an ASD in my opinion you must have multiple symptoms (but not all) present from childhood that are severe enough to impact your life.

If you decide to seek diagnostic assessment, may I suggest that you locate a psychologist who is knowledgable about the spectrum rather than a psychiatrist. There are safety reasons for this: if you are in the USA, (or New Zealand), psychiatrists are paid a commission by drug companies for prescribing their products on each single prescription. This creates an incentive for unnecessary medicating of people who present with neuroatypical profiles who are not psychiatrically ill, and yet are medicated with psychiatric drugs that have/can have dangerous side effects. Some of these side effects are really very serious. As long as the USA and NZ tolerates this conflict of interest - which to my mind is a form of corruption - then people on the spectrum need to know the dangers so that they can make informed choices about the risks of seeking diagnosis from psychiatrists. Hospitals are also paid commissions per patient prescriptions so be careful there too.

Stay safe.