What did I do wrong??!

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So I work on a mountain as a cook, and we have a few different kitchens on site. So I work in one kitchen and there is this girl that works in the one right next door. She started at the beginning of this winter. I liked her but could never talk to her, maybe just smile quickly when I found an excuse to have to go over to her kitchen for anything and hope to walk past her.

Finally about two weeks ago we started talking some, then Even more amazingly,! got to hang out a few times in and outside of work. She is super cool and interesting and I couldn't wait till the next opportunity to chill with her.

Then this week it's like some one just flipped a switch and I don't exist.... Tuesday we where suppose to meet up to go skiing, then I got a text from her that morning saying that she would meet up later as a friend from out of town was suddenly up and they where going cc sking that morning first, Later I get a text that she's not going to be able to make it. However I find out later that she did for a short while make it to the same hill sking for a few runs before her shift but didn't try and call me. The next day I had been planing for a few days a big group of people to go hike up a mt road closed in the winter to go sledding down on. She Was so interested in that but then that night she calls me and says she does not think she's up for it that night or to tired or something....

Finally, I want away to a speed skating meet this weekend. I started this only a few years ago and race against others that been doing this for a long time and normally don't place at the front. I have a great race in one of the events and got 2nd and got a medal! That was this morning. I texted her this and a pitcher of my medal that I was so proud of but she never even responded... I was so excited over it all day and now I feel like just throwing it away for what ever disconnected reason and it seems just so worthless now.

My question is, What did I passable do or not do to have her mood change about me just like that without warning?? This is absolutely killing me inside and don't know what to do, please, I really need someone to help me! I'm so lost and hurt.

Sounds like she is not interested in you. Time to move on.

She's giving you the infamous "silent treatment".

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/therapy-soup/2014/11/the-silent-treatment-and-what-you-can-do-to-stop-it-cold/

She found a better potential.

That what girls do when they find a better potential, they drop the previous one like dirt and go for the other.

it has been my experience, that people in general are a tremendous disappointment. better to be a hermit

You didn't do anything wrong, chaps.

She might not be into you, sorry to say.

Hi, Ronnie.

The only way you can know if you did anything that turned the girl off is to ask her. You might say something like, "We seeemed to be becoming friends, but now you aren't talking to me like you used to. Have I done something to upset you?"

If she is really the sort of person she appeared to you to be at first, you will get some sort of explanation. Being an NT female myself, I readily admit that our reasons for doing things don't always make sense, even to us. But trying to explain would be polite.

That said, you may have accidentally done something that made her nervous. Perhaps come across as being too needy or too anxious to please. That is not anything wrong with you at all, but it could have made her "inner radar" go off. If that is what happened, don't take it personally, as she won't have meant it personally. Just give her space and time to get to know you and get comfortable being around you again. NTs sometimes do that, too.

I do hope that you will take pride and pleasure in your medal for your own sake. You have worked hard to become that good at skating, and the medal is a great symbol of that. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishment for you, without relying on the excitement and approval of someone you barely know. Maybe you can share your news about the medal with some other friends who know you better?

Good luck!
Judith

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. These things just happen sometimes. People may not feel compatible, or new interests consume their time.

I suggest you move on, and treat her like any other co-worker.

If you really want to know, you are best to directly ask her.

I also suggest that if she was to suddenly try and strike up a connection again... that you don't engage with her. She will likely disappear the second something/someone new interests her.

I am sorry you are experiencing this. It's not fair.

That's the modern dating scene for you buddy. You didn't necessary do anything wrong, she just decided she didn't like you so she's just ignoring you until you also decide to ignore her. It's very annoying, but everyone does it and for some awful reason it's socially acceptable and we're just supposed to deal with it. No one gives a reasonable explanation for their decision in not liking you, that's just how it works.

Maybe your armpits smells and she got a good wiff of it. That always scares the ladies away. Trust me I would know.

Seems to me like she is trying to distance herself because she knows that you like her and doesn't know how to deal with it. She doesn't seem to feel the same way. Don't frequently text or anything like that-- it makes you come off as clingy. That can repel people, in my experience. Just wait until she contacts you, and move on in the meantime.

Yup shes giving you the silent treatment.

Iv'e done it to women before. I do regret it now of course. I think she gave you the silent treatment is because she thinks you're interested in her but shes simply not interested in you for whatever reason. Maybe this girl just isn't physically attracted to you or sees something in you she doesn't like. She doesn't want to continue talking to you but she doesn't exactly know how to get this off so she just stops contacting you all-together. This is a non-verbal way of saying, I'm not interested in dating you.

When you get the silent treatment, it sucks. But it's time to move on. I kind of feel bad for giving this one girl the silent treatment. Shoot and she could have been my first gf. I just wasn't interested in her. I have standards, just like we all do. I just hope my standards aren't set too high.

It's beyond awful the whole feeling(s). And the truth is, the idea that she doesn't like me in the same way does not bother me quite as much.

The feeling and drowning thoughts I get though when they do this that makes me feel like 'I don't even exist' I think hits home and is the part that really breaks me down.....



I don't think I could ever ask her about it or anything, talking is not my strong suit even when it's not an aqud sitch. I wish I could though

These type of actions make me think the girl just doesn't respect me at all. If I were to continue chasing, it would guarantee that I would never get her respect.

With that being said, if she ever messages you again anytime soon, would you even give her the respect of a response?

You've done nothing wrong so far. There is only one wrong thing you can do here and that is continuing to give her more respect than what she deserves. Keep things professional with her.

You should ghost the same way she ghosts you.

Don't text her.
Don't call her.
Don't interact with her.

And when you go to work while you know she's around, just imagine your sight scope is as narrow as your head's width, and you only salute her if she happens to be just within this scope, close to you and face to face, otherwise don't say any hi to her - don't even turn your head or to go out of your course to talk to her, ever, just pass by as if she's invisible.
And don't worry about her feelings, she will do exactly the same to you, I have learned this behavior from women ghosting other men, they're masters at it, and as if their eye sight is as I describe, a straight laser-like projector.

And you know what's funny? It works - it even eventually becomes natural and you really stop caring about her very existence.

I did this to a lady I knew in the gym for a while whom was cheerful and friendly with at first, it lasted only for very few a week and so - and I was very cheerful to her too, but *suddenly* she kept pretending not seeing me at all - I've even said 'hi' and waved to her like every time for a month and yet she pretended not hearing nor seeing me, and I was like less than two feet away (and she wasn't putting her earphones)- as if I am some dirt on the ground, in American you call that ghosting, here in my region, we call this "garbaging", derived from garbage.

She only say said hi few times if only and only if I happen to be just in front of her face to face, but she wouldn't even stop for a moment as she was used to be for a small chat, but she just says hi while passing by.

So I followed this ghosting strategy, the same way she was doing it. After a while... like a month of this, when I bump into her face-to-face she starting to saluting and attempting to open a chat with me in a very noticeable way (she stops walking, and lean slightly..), but I was like "sorry, but I am in hurry" while I never stopped walking.

and the other day I was in the middle of a small conversation with a buddy there, she came to me from nowhere, pulling my shirt slightly from shoulder side with a big smile on her face: "Heyyyy <my name>, how are you?? " - I only slightly turned my head to her "Oh hi" - and I resumed the conversation with the buddy.

I was really not in the mood to be interested in her again, not ever again.