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Joe90
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09 Feb 2015, 4:37 pm

I'm starting to feel more....well wouldn't say popular exactly, but more noticed in real life than online. Facebook I quit because each time I posted something I hardly ever got even 1 like or any comments, but other people did even if they posted the most stupidest, pathetic stuff, like ''I am sitting on a bench'' and they got 2 likes, that annoyed me. Then when I posted something actually worth posting, like at a social event with my boyfriend, I got no likes or comments at all. Then I thought I'd post something stupid and mundane and see if I got any likes, so I posted something simplistic too like ''I am riding a bus'', but still got no likes or comments, so I quit Facebook. Then people were like ''oh I miss you on Facebook'' and ''why don't you go back on Facebook?'' But I couldn't really tell them why because it makes it look like I want attention or something, which I don't, it's just that I'm doing no different on Facebook to what everybody else does.

Also I feel unpopular on WP too. Each time I make a thread in GAD, it only gets about 3 replies, and then I make a reply to the posts and then the thread suddenly dies off. But other threads seem to stay on page 1 for days or even weeks, whatever the subject may be. And no, I haven't made many self-loathing posts at all since nearly a year ago when I first went on antidepressants. So it ain't that. It must be a mystery, or I just somehow bore everybody, even though other threads are sometimes boring but they don't die off after 3 or 4 posts.

I'm sorry, I do have a habit of comparing myself to others, and then I take it personally.


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downbutnotout
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09 Feb 2015, 4:54 pm

I tend to feel ignored, too, so it's not just you. Mostly people respond to me online to argue with me or don't reply at all, so it's a pleasant surprise when someone simply wants to talk. Offline at least I can talk to people now and then without it being a battle, and even though they're not the same people like your example they're more concerned.

Feels weird to be on the type of forums where everyone talks about how horrible everyday people are.



kraftiekortie
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09 Feb 2015, 5:46 pm

I wouldn't argue with either one of you.

I hope you don't think I ignore you.

I think we disagree sometimes about things, Joe90. It doesn't mean I don't like you. You don't tend to respond to me.



TheAP
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09 Feb 2015, 6:36 pm

Don't make a habit of obsessing over the number of replies or likes you get. That sort of thing can drive you crazy, because you're always going to think you don't measure up.

In reality, it isn't about you. Maybe people just don't have anything to say, or are unsure of whether or not to reply. A lot of threads don't get very many replies, so it isn't just you.

I doubt anyone here dislikes you. If someone does, who needs them?



kraftiekortie
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09 Feb 2015, 6:36 pm

I'm glad you're feeling more noticed in real life.



qFox
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09 Feb 2015, 7:19 pm

This is exactly while I avoid the 'social media' since they are just gathering grounds for narcissists. People are on there to boast about themselves and to bump each other ahead on the social ranking. Posting pictures of themselves and all their groupees to show how popular they are to other narcissists.



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10 Feb 2015, 12:53 am

Oh godddddd.

You see, this is why social media can be terrible. It tends to hurt people. I have a facebook but I only have like 20 friends that I consider close friends to me. Yeah, when I post things, sometimes they don't get any likes, but who the heck cares? I'm not there for the likes anyway. I'm there to talk to people. So maybe the next time you get on facebook, don't focus on the likes, but rather socializing with your friends? Idunno.

But seriously, don't let social media kill your self esteem. And don't over think so much about how many replies you get on here. It's not worth stressing over. Trust me, I used to worry about these things and it got me no where.

-hugs- don't feel too bad. Look at everyone in this thread, we're not ignoring you. :)



Joe90
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10 Feb 2015, 5:37 am

I know nobody tries to argue with me here, and not on facebook either. And I don't mean anything against anyone personally.

I have a weird habit of thinking almost everyone here as anonymous. Maybe some members here do the same?


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ApertaVerbum
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10 Feb 2015, 5:48 am

I can relate, nobody ever lets me info dump so I get frustrated on give up. Now I'm fortunate to have a fiance who is very patient with me (even when i feel the need to discuss different wires, and their uses).

Her support is encouraging me to try and be more proactive with socialising and although i have a facebook account i never really post on it. I think a lot of it comes from a terrible fear of people judging me by what i say and thinking less of me.

So I'm testing the waters with my own blog, its early doors yet (no likes, no comments, no visitors for the two days i've had it up) but i'm hopeful that with continued effort and forcing myself to open up more on forums like this that i may find some sense of self worth.

Aperta Verbum
http://apertaverbum.weebly.com/



kraftiekortie
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10 Feb 2015, 6:41 am

That's possible, Joe90.

Also: it's just that people don't have time to respond to each and every thread.

I'm ignored, probably, at least 3/4's of the time.



886
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10 Feb 2015, 7:25 am

I think it's hard to judge yourself based on facebook interactions and how often your posts are liked. It is very inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, a "like" does not dictate how many people value you or like you at all. It's a simple click of a button and has no further meaning.


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downbutnotout
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10 Feb 2015, 10:23 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I wouldn't argue with either one of you.

I hope you don't think I ignore you.

I think we disagree sometimes about things, Joe90. It doesn't mean I don't like you. You don't tend to respond to me.


Thanks.

Joe90 wrote:
I know nobody tries to argue with me here, and not on facebook either. And I don't mean anything against anyone personally.

I have a weird habit of thinking almost everyone here as anonymous. Maybe some members here do the same?


I don't think anyone takes it personally. We're all anonymous to an extent when we're posting here.



Joe90
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12 Feb 2015, 1:25 pm

I have even got a few PMs saying that I haven't been on WP in a while. I have been on WP, often posting something every day, only occasionally going a day or two without posting. I started to wonder if my posts were showing up in the discussion threads or something.

I think I am being a bit pessimistic. I think it's because how the supervisors and the boss at work are making me feel lately. They're making me feel like I can't do anything right. And I think I have come to believe that maybe I don't do anything right, which is why I don't get many replies online.


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TheBraveSirRobin
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12 Feb 2015, 5:22 pm

I know the feeling.

I spend a good bit of time playing games and on Steam which has a community aspect to it where you can share screenshots, make discussion threads and et cetera. Anything I contribute to it, like random screenshots, go completely unnoticed by anyone, but I have a friend who has had quite a few of his screenshots be "thumbs up"-ed by dozens of people, which is a fair amount of attention. This bothered me until I realized that my friend is one of those easily entertained types that takes screenshots and pictures of f*****g ANYTHING and gives it a silly captions and posts it wherever without any inhibition, so it's only natural that he just so happened to, by pure chance, actually capture something funny. In other words, realize that most of the time when something gets likes or upvotes, it's for very simplistic reasons and there are many ways in which it is pointless to compare yourself and what you do to other people by those metrics.

And when it comes to this forum site, it seems that the last way to get attention is to be your normal self. But I guess that's just me though, because I don't really do small talk. My favorite social interactions are topical conversations about things that both parties are passionate about or learning about something from someone else, not participating in forum games, not saying silly thing, not roleplaying as a sentient squid. I suppose that this is a result of my less-than-enjoyable social life back in school, but, nonetheless, I prefer to feel that I speak as my honest self and that there's more purpose to what I say than to entertain people.


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Dantac
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12 Feb 2015, 7:15 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I'm starting to feel more....well wouldn't say popular exactly, but more noticed in real life than online. Facebook I quit because each time I posted something I hardly ever got even 1 like or any comments, but other people did even if they posted the most stupidest, pathetic stuff, like ''I am sitting on a bench'' and they got 2 likes, that annoyed me. Then when I posted something actually worth posting, like at a social event with my boyfriend, I got no likes or comments at all. Then I thought I'd post something stupid and mundane and see if I got any likes, so I posted something simplistic too like ''I am riding a bus'', but still got no likes or comments, so I quit Facebook. Then people were like ''oh I miss you on Facebook'' and ''why don't you go back on Facebook?'' But I couldn't really tell them why because it makes it look like I want attention or something, which I don't, it's just that I'm doing no different on Facebook to what everybody else does.


Seems like my instagram experiment experience. Pics of 'me' (me, the stuff I do, etc) which is no different than what others post and I barely got a couple of likes... but post a pic of my dog and it gets hundreds of likes. :ninja:

Joe90 wrote:
Also I feel unpopular on WP too. Each time I make a thread in GAD, it only gets about 3 replies, and then I make a reply to the posts and then the thread suddenly dies off. But other threads seem to stay on page 1 for days or even weeks, whatever the subject may be. And no, I haven't made many self-loathing posts at all since nearly a year ago when I first went on antidepressants. So it ain't that. It must be a mystery, or I just somehow bore everybody, even though other threads are sometimes boring but they don't die off after 3 or 4 posts.

I'm sorry, I do have a habit of comparing myself to others, and then I take it personally.


I know how that feels. I enjoy your posts however, you're an interesting person. Many times I just have nothing to say that can add or argue a point. :)



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