Are Autistic Men More Likely to be Misogynistic?
androbot01
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I notice a lot of hostility and frustration directed from autistic men towards women on this forum. I wonder if the misogyny is average when compared to norms or if autistic men are more antagonistic to women.
I'm thinking that perhaps autistic men scapegoat women as being the problem, when actually it is their own social skills or impatience that are to blame.
I believe the "misogyny" expressed here on WrongPlanet is a microcosm of at least some of the "general society."
Much of it is borne out of frustration with not obtaining the "ideal mate." It is ego-driven.
This is universal, rather than a particularly "autistic" characteristic.
Alas, it is a "human" characteristic.
I agree with kraftikortie. While you might find a larger percentage of frustrated males who have trouble with romantic relationships among autistic men, it's not inherently an autistic trait to become misogynistic. It also completely depends on the emotional maturity and intelligence of the individual.
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Is it possible that men with ASD are less likely to filter these thoughts and what is written in L&D is actually representative of what many men think, but don't usually vocalise freely, especially in mixed company?
I think what they write about is occasionally group problem solving, sometimes based on limited dating experience, from what seems like an OTT traditional male perspective. I do however interpret some of the posts as hostile towards women.
I think many of them are frustrated because getting women they are romantically interested in to return said interest is so trying and emotionally draining for them. Some of them are possibly into their late 30s or even 40s and have had little or no real success. And the unique challengers that Autistic men face in making themselves appeal to women often intensify it.
But this is not in any way, shape or form the same thing as true, dyed in the wool misogyny.
I'm not in full agreement with this statement. I disagree with it where I see there are some men in the forum who have expressed that prior relationships they have had, they experienced women who were selfish and manipulative towards them. This manipulation likely had to do with the lack of social skills these men had and thus may have made it easier for such women to manipulate them. Autistic or Aspie men have a tendency to be naive and gullible to a point and I think the more mature they get, the less gullible they likely will be.
the part that might be misogynistic? Any unwillingness to move on from being screwed over from a manipulative and one-sided relationship and thus the belief that all women should be painted with the same brush because "one did it to me, therefore all will do it". Other people on this forum (and the part I agree with your statement on) is where a person just doesn't seem to understand that they must take no for an answer. Another part of the misogyny comes from this strange belief that women are incapable of being responsible for themselves and I see that just about everywhere and not on here.
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I am female; I neither agree nor disagree.
I think that variously "disabled" men and women are more likely to be frustrated with, and ultimately biased against, the gender to which they are romantically attracted (and most likely humanity in general).
It comes as the logical, one might almost say natural, result of a large body of bad experiences, much in the same way that someone who had narrowly escaped death in multiple house fires would be biased against potential sources of future housefires, or a Vietnam vet who was beaten by a group of war protesters as he was leaving the airport upon returning to the States would be prone to hate "hippies."
You can't really blame the person who's had the bad experiences-- yes, we can learn a measure of social skills, but we're still going to have to invest significantly more energy in using them at the same time as we also fail more often, and more egregiously, than the average "normal person."
You can't really blame the women (or men, or people) either. They also are only doing what comes naturally.
You don't blame a gazelle for being terrified of anything that suggests a lion; at the same time, you don't blame the lion for hunting, killing, and eating gazelles.
Bitterness builds up. Such is the nature of human psychology.
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"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
androbot01
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Misogyny is a human characteristic. Sad but seemingly true.
I agree. A lot of the vitriol seems to come from young men. Maybe they miss their mommies.
The group problem solving is often reduced to bashing though.
Exactly. Autistic women go through the same thing, but autistic men seem to become bitter against women because of it.
Another part of the misogyny comes from this strange belief that women are incapable of being responsible for themselves and I see that just about everywhere and not on here.
Women incapable of being responsible for themselves? Ha ... do I have a story to tell you.
As for gullibility, I think that is true for both genders of autistic people.
It comes as the logical, one might almost say natural, result of a large body of bad experiences, much in the same way that someone who had narrowly escaped death in multiple house fires would be biased against potential sources of future housefires, ...
You don't blame a gazelle for being terrified of anything that suggests a lion; at the same time, you don't blame the lion for hunting, killing, and eating gazelles.
Bitterness builds up. Such is the nature of human psychology.
It really does. I don't think gender determines whether ones is gazelle or lion. I think both genders have representatives of both.
there have been quite few women here with bitterness towards men. most are gone now, but doesn't change the fact that women do it too. when people treat you like s**t, you become bitter towards them. like BuyerBeware said.
I'm gonna assume I'm one of the men this is about. meh. i don't see how me feeling like worthless trash cause of women around me has to do with women who live in other nations or states or makes me anti women. I'm only trying to deal with and comes to term with the reality around me.
androbot01
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Sweetleaf
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Frustration may lead to hatred of the source of your frustration, but it doesn't make it right. When you tar and feather an entire gender, race, creed, etc., by the experience you've had with a minute percentage of its overall population, you've got some evolving to do as a human being.
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androbot01
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But why slam the entire gender?
I've had both men and women behave badly to me, and nicely. Why not just put it down to the individual?
And if you keep meeting the same "type," maybe you are looking in the wrong place.
I agree that it's not a uniquely autistic problem, it's a reflection of misogyny in general. Those who have social difficulties can turn to nasty assumptions about others to justify how they have been wronged, and that's an easy explanation that society conveniently leaves lying around everywhere.
androbot01
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It's easy to become angry and aim the anger at a broad target, but it's not healthy.
True, it's not everyone. And some forums are worse than others.
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