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LePetitPrince
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16 Mar 2007, 1:11 pm

i know that not all male aspies are geeks but this might be useful :

http://features.slashdot.org/article.pl ... =nocomment



Aspie1
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16 Mar 2007, 2:16 pm

Author of the Slashdot Article wrote:
A woman just like you wouldn't be there for you when you wanted a hug. She'd be obsessively coding or posting on Slashdot herself, and would brush you off when you needed her. What you really want is a woman who will be there for you when you get tired of staring at your monitor and need some loving, but will leave you alone and not demand your attention when you're busy. You don't want a Geek Girl. You want a woman who is willing and able to meet a geek's needs, which is not the same thing at all.

This is totally brilliant!! ! I never thought about it this way. But it's so true. I'm sure this is what NTs refer to when they say the infamous word "empathy".



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16 Mar 2007, 3:15 pm

Well almost got one. She's not too hot on me discussing my AS stuff with her, but she does let me be.



dgd1788
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16 Mar 2007, 3:17 pm

Not only do you need someone who is empathic, but also one that would make a good mother too.


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calandale
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16 Mar 2007, 7:58 pm

Preferably one who doesn't want actual children though - they'll take too much away from your needs.



TheBladeRoden
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17 Mar 2007, 2:51 am

That article definately shows its age, though. 64MB ram? Ricky Martin as a (hetero) sex icon? I'm thinking advice from '99 is probably obsolete by now.


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T-rav20
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17 Mar 2007, 3:05 am

TheBladeRoden wrote:
That article definately shows its age, though. 64MB ram? Ricky Martin as a (hetero) sex icon? I'm thinking advice from '99 is probably obsolete by now.


Damn, beat me to it, I didn't notice anything about Ricky Martin, but I did notice the 64 MBs of RAM (yes, I am a geek).


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Quest_techie
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18 Mar 2007, 2:30 am

...64 mb of ram..... wow



DL8
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20 Mar 2007, 3:44 pm

that's old but incredibly relevant (ignore the ricky martin and that stuff). it lightened me up a bit, like the girl-just-like-me issue



wendytheweird
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20 Mar 2007, 8:29 pm

That was excellent advice, imo. My dh is a total geek and he was extremely lonely until he asked me out. ;) And I am a bit shy myself, so it's not like he had a chance waiting for me to ask him out. He's shy, I'm shy, I never noticed him hiding in the back of the room. But he got up the nerve, looked up my number and asked me to watch a movie with him. The rest is history.

Only thing I don't agree with is the not finding a geeky girl part. I'm a total geek myself. In fact, my dh and I first met when we were taking p-chem together. But we rarely talk about work type things. In fact, I haven't worked in so long (we have 3 kids and I stay home to cook, wash laundry and change diapers ;)) I'm completely lost when he tries to tell me about his research. I think it actually may be better that way, so in that way I agree w/ the author, I just don't think he worded it all that well. Nothing wrong w/ a geeky girl as long as you have slightly different interests and she isn't trying to compete w/ you. I don't think competition is a good idea at all for a couple. It might be exciting for a while, but it will get old very fast.



NeoPlatonist
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20 Mar 2007, 10:05 pm

This is really good advice. Thanks!


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Xuincherguixe
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22 Mar 2007, 3:02 am

I'm putting up links to that in a few places :P


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biostructure
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25 Mar 2007, 3:49 pm

I found that Slashdot article 2-3 years ago and liked it. The guy is a bit extreme at times (like when he says he wants a girl to run his bath water for him--does he think he's a king?), though I agree a lot with what he says.

I share his perception that the women (prticularly celebrities) who are always trying very hard to look good are often noot as beautiful as those with a good amount of natural beauty, and also in that I'm looking for a girl who is in many ways the opposite of a geek (meaning one who is a people-person and understands social things, and whose weaknesses are in technical areas).



geek
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25 Mar 2007, 4:23 pm

wendytheweird wrote:
Only thing I don't agree with is the not finding a geeky girl part. I'm a total geek myself.


Yeah, I think that the author is off the mark. I won't argue that geek/non-geek relationships can't work, but the geek/geek relationship I've been in for the past decade+ has been totally great. Far and away better than any relationship I ever had with a non-geek. But everybody's different...

Bathwater? Really.



Dr_Mobius
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26 Mar 2007, 1:18 pm

Suffice to say, it seems that geek girls must have a much harder time finding a man that geek-men do in finding a woman!

That's a real shame- I'd prefer a geek girl, they are reliable and can be affectionate, the idea that they are not is a myth.
I believe that because they are able to think so deeply, to reflect and rationalize, they are also able to feel more deeply. This elevated self-awareness leads to a more intense companionship I’m sure.

If no one takes the geek girls who have they got? (the idiots, and trust me, they don't suffer fools gladly.)



Mandelbrot
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26 Mar 2007, 1:22 pm

I have never beek asked on a date or had a partner/boyfriend in my life and I would class myself as a female nerd/geek.
I'm 21, so it must be true, men just aren't interested. But I try so, so hard.

There is always advice for men with Asperger's about how to attract a woman, as if women with Asperger's are totally devoid of the same problem of attracting a mate!
I would like advice - but can't find any - I think I'm just expected to know or something-