Homeless soon, grew up in near isolation, lookin for advice!

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Hello all! A little backstory to start. I'm a 25 year old guy living in California that hasn't been diagnosed, I haven't even been to a doctor since I got immunizations when I was a baby. Although I fit the bill generously, I believe the symptoms would also correspond to the extreme social isolation I was raised in, meaning I may not have AS. However, being that the symptoms are the same I figured it might be a good idea to ask for advice here anyways.

I have never been to school, though I was homeschooled until 3rd grade. I have lived my entire life out in the sticks, about 10 miles away from the nearest gas station. I have worked private security for the last 8 years with the last 6 being at the same company.

My only saving grace was that I got a computer when I was about 12 and was able to learn what I would say is a good general education along with web design and programming.

There was quite a bit of emotional abuse from my dad who has been physically disabled for 15 years, while my mom was an alcoholic as I grew up. She then switched about a decade ago to prescription drugs where she has, as of the last few years, been a borderline vegetable.

I have one brother and sister but have never met any extended family other than a few times when I was young. My dad has kept us all in isolation because he has his own mental issues. The only time I got to get out in the world was a box car race when I was about 12.

Beyond that my only interaction was going to the grocery store once a month which wasn't even every time. I wasn't even aware this was abnormal until I began researching wolf children and isolation a few years ago, having always known I was different.

My brother and sister have never really liked me because they were jealous my dad didn't abuse me as much as them, according to my mom. They are both much older than me and while they have had amazing opportunities with amazing jobs and starting families I guess they have never escaped their childhood because their lives have been spiraling down and have had to move back in several times.

Me and my dad would go years without talking which my mom has sort of explained but I'll leave that story out for now.

I have lived in an dilapidated single wide trailer almost 70 years old that the hallway roof has caved in and where my bedroom floor floods during the winter. Wasps live in the walls and swarm during the summer with mosquito's coming in because we have no window screens and have holes the size of basket balls where the floor has rotted.

Black widows are among the many other insects the also call it home. We have extensive mold damage from green, orange, white and black varieties. I could go on about how bad it is but needless to say I probably should have left long ago.

Because I grew up so isolated and have never really told anyone anything about me I never realized that my family wasn't normal. I knew the living conditions were bad and that some of the abuse wasn't normal but I always thought we were just another middle class family.

I learned a few years ago that we were not only poor but close to being in absolute poverty. About 6 months ago I finally decided I had nothing left to lose and somewhat described how my parents were to a few acquaintances/co workers I've known for years. I drove away all but one of those people who may be the first friend I've had.

I have lied since I knew them by telling them I lived in a house and that I wen't to school but just never graduated. I only described the last few years where he opened my eyes to the idea my family has just been using me. I am the only one in the immediate family with a car and job which they have been taking advantage of.

Only about 30% of the miles on my car is actually from or for me, yet I have been the one repairing it. They do give me gas money most of the time though. I'm perpetually broke because of this among other requirements for staying at home, and I have done nothing but get worse financially, physically, and mentally in the 8 years I've been working.

My dad is losing the property at the end of April but he has wanted me to leave for a while anyways. I have known for years I'd end up being homeless and have made most of the preparations, but my biggest fear is that I will enjoy the freedom of being homeless and I'll never escape it.

With so little time left I know that I can't prevent it but I'm looking for advice on what to do to get out of it, along with any basic suggestions I may not have thought of.

For finances I only make about $1100/mo as security companies won't pay above minimum wage. About $250 of that is what it costs in gas because I'm so far from work. It's actually in another town but there's nothing local around here anyways. I buy all of my own food and supplies with rent being around $350-600 depending on how much they need in a month.

I just bought a Nintendo 64 controller for $25 which is the first time I've wasted money on something that wasn't a necessity since I bought a faster hard drive about 3 years ago. 90% of my clothes are the same ones since I was 14, though I wear some of the unmarked uniforms I have.

Basically I've been as frugal as possible most of my life. I have about $1600 saved and my current plan is to continue working, while living in my car and getting a gym subscription to shower. However, my car is in the process of breaking down and I believe it would be safer to invest in camping gear and going to live in woods or stealth camping near the city instead of buying another car.

It's only about every 2 years that I'm able to save up this much which almost always corresponds to me needing a new car and the money is almost always from getting lucky by finding someone to build a website for.

I would of course not be able to have a job at this point but I have seen how bad the shelters are around here, and being that I don't have the social skills that are required to survive among the homeless I am confident this is the best solution.

I somewhat learned about section 8 housing the last few weeks but someone I knew at work was homeless for 5 years before he got approved. Even my brother with 5 kids took 7 months before he got approval. I guess I should have looked into it years ago.

Family/friends is definitely a no go for help, even advice, which is why I'm here. Being that time is expensive and this is already a long post I won't go into the the details of this plan or other options I have considered unless you want to further discuss it or other options.

Looking forward to hearing from a community which I've lurked among for a while!

I'm sorry that you're losing your home.

Ever thought about getting an apartment in an apartment complex? I know of a person who pays $350 in rent. In some places, you could get a place for $500 a month. You make $1,100 a month--that leaves $600 for everything else. You've been working for the same company for a while--just get your W-2s together, and your pay stubs, and you'll probably be able to get an apartment. Many apartment dwellers are transient types. You, at least, have had the same job for years--which is in your favor.

You must have lived an interesting life. You are self-educated--that's great!

Apply for food stamps. Stick with the car until it breaks down, then get some basic camping gear and stay out in the sticks if you can get alternate transportation to work (bus or bicycle) and you can remain undetected for a reasonable length of time. You can take care of your hygiene and grooming at your campsite (soapless cleanser that doesn't need to be rinsed, hand mirror nailed to a tree, etc). I bathed and brushed my teeth with a spray bottle's worth of water when I lived outdoors.

New car = how about a big enough camper van or a small caravan to live in?? Second hand?

Then you could continue saving … and wouldn't be literally in a tent in a forest.

Renting a cheap apartment might not be bad either, as pointed out.

Building websites - do you have your own??
Have you tried to sell your web services online??
That might help to increase income.

(After all - you do have a job. That's the most important thing. Some money coming in regularly!)

Heya! The cheapest I could find was a studio for $525/mo in an extremely bad part of town. I would rather live in a tent than be in an area twice as good as that. It was also still about 15 miles away my job. I also read that most apartments want you to make 3 times the cost of rent.

I dropped down to only about $800/mo a month ago because the hours aren't always very regular. I should go back up again within another month or two. I could get another job but I've been doing this so long and going nowhere that it's a struggle just to continue. I really just want to quit but it's so hard to get jobs that I'm afraid I wouldn't find another.

It's not worth it to spend all my time working just to keep struggling. There's a few higher ups at my place that love harassing me that has really been getting to me. This one guy gives me a few write ups a month over stuff supposedly in the rule book that no one has ever got yet he only harasses a few other people for the same topics.

I'm not worried about write ups because write ups don't fire people. It's just a tool. He just wants to mess with me. I've never shown it annoys me and will always ask with a smile if he has anymore write ups before I leave. I don't ever protest.

I've been told I could go to the labor board over harassment but again, I'd rather keep the job vs some small payout or settlement.

I will agree it's been an interesting journey, and although my situation sounds bad, it's never really bothered me too much. I would take my self education over a public one anyday, it's just the isolation I believe affected me the most.

I think your attitude towards the "write ups" is practical. If you know that won't get you fired, why get worked up about them?

One has to make a living somehow!

I have some of my dads vehicles and trailers in my name so he can qualify for aid. I'm not sure if that actually affects food stamps or not?

I can't transfer it out of my name because he will kick my mom out. Sort of in a hostage situation. I know my mom can't make it in a homeless shelter and would overdose within a few days if her drugs weren't stolen first. She's almost 61. That's mostly why I've stayed all this time. The acquaintance I mentioned earlier told me it's not my problem but I'll never be able to forget that or not blame myself because I know I have a choice.

As far as living in the woods I have no concerns about that, but transportation would not be possible unless I ride a bike for 30-60 minutes to get to the closest bus stop. I'm not above doing that but that's something I'll have to try out first.

One issue is I work graveyard and most buses stop running before I start or after I get off depending on what my schedule is that week.

I'm not sure. It probably depends on how many vehicles there are and how much they are worth. You could ask the social workers at the social services office, or try to get the vehicles transferred to your mother's name. And where are all of these vehicles going to remain if your father is losing his land?

That is one of the options I've been considering. To get like an E150 cargo van. I'm not confident driving bigger vehicles and those aren't too gas efficient. Definitely a better option than an RV because the repair costs to an RV are much higher than a regular vehicle, and I'm not experienced in them to repair it myself. I believe a tow behind camper is much better since it's cheaper to register/insure and isn't dependent on being a vehicle itself. Afraid to tow trailers too though lol.

If I could find a good price on either I would definitely be willing to try and get comfortable with it. Certainly wouldn't abandon it if I did choose to go that route. Would just be annoying if I didn't ever get comfortable with it.

As far as web services, I do occasionally repair desktops/laptops for coworkers. Trying to market services online is not easy to do with the amount of competition. Involves a lot of internet marketing/SEO and wait time to gauge effectiveness of marketing strategies.

It's essentially much more effective to advertise locally, though all the work I've done so far is through referral. I haven't done much work on websites for other people the last 2 years because I've been working on my own projects in internet marketing for passive income. It's a long story but I recently made some mistakes in managing the ones that were bringing me income and have opted to work on a program to better manage keeping track of them.

I could live considerably well if I did advertise locally and work on boosting customers but I'm not good at interacting with clients and it's quite a stress. Ultimately I would like to open up my own web design/pc repair shop because I would be much more confident working as a manager overseeing employees doing the work and would enjoy that. That's what I hope to accomplish someday when I can support myself and save up the money to open up such a place.

I'm not good at managing my own time and giving accurate estimates, whereas if I know the capabilities of others I can easily compute the timing and requirements. I'm not good at the actual design/layout/graphics in that it takes me a long time to do them so I often outsource that work anyways on larger projects.

This area specifically suffers from lack of skilled web designers/developers which is why I wouldn't go to work for one of them, because I can't work with someone in a group who is below what I consider to be the most fundamental practices. They are seriously incompetent. That's one of the reasons that when I do get clients I make a considerable profit by doing the work meant for a team of 2-3 people without the overhead. Almost no competition.

However, I don't have a GED and no history of professional work so I couldn't get a job with them anyways. GED isn't a problem other than the cost if I knew I could get a job though. Most of the work I've done doesn't include any references on the website itself so I don't have a portfolio I could show. It wouldn't be that big of an issue to build one and be able to verify the work but again I don't work well with others.

I've probably left some holes or misunderstandings in what's holding me back from doing more computer work so I can expand if you've got any more suggestions or questions.

I don't want to come off as saying it's impossible, just that I have reasons. And those reasons may not be valid if I'm missing something extremely obvious that I hadn't thought of before. That is why I'm here. I haven't had guidance or input from other people on topics like this which is why I feel I could be missing something.

Thanks for taking the time to answer though!

Why not go for the GED? They have free courses. It doesn't cost that much to take the test. Take a practice test on line to determine where you are. If you score about 250, then you've done pretty well.

There's an RV worth about $12,000 in my name which is what he and my mom will be moving into once they lose the property. A refrigerated semi trailer worth around $2,500-5,000(not sure what those are really worth) and 2 older cars that are probably worth less than $1,500/ea.

He is planning on buying a 1 acre lot off the grid. You can find them for about $15-25k but there's no water/power and they are like 30-40 miles from town.

Because him and my mom are technically still married they can't have them in either of their names. I'm not even sure how true that is.

What is the department actually called that I would inquire about stuff like that? Is it a government office or are there also privatized companies that deal with issuing food stamps?

No, it's only available as a government program, although there are private charities that sometimes give out one-time food assistance. As far as I know, it's usually called the Department of Human and Social Services, or simple social services.

Free courses for learning the materials or to actually take the test? I looked into doing it a few years ago and the test was $150 at the adult school. I wouldn't need any books or materials to learn so that was the only expense I knew of.

I never bothered with it since I'm usually on the verge of not having enough money to pay bills. Usually I would end up with $10-50/extra each month and after saving that long enough something bad happens to take it all away.

I actually consider myself one of the luckiest people because so many times a situation has come up that could cost more than I have yet it never happens when I'm completely broke. I actually stopped worrying about all the bad stuff that can happen. I would bet my life 6 months ago that once my car started having problems I would have the money for a new one by the time it broke down. I've been that way for a few years now.

It used to feel like someone was plotting against me because anytime I had money and felt comfortable something would happen. But I never believed in superstitions like that.

It's like clockwork. Every 18-26 months I have the big expense of needing a new car. Every 8-10 months I have the smaller expenses like needing a tooth pulled or repairing the car.

Also a GED would only contribute to getting a job at a web design shop since that's all I have experience in. I don't really have any other skills that I know of where only a GED is required for work. Flipping a burger or just doing security are the types of jobs that want a GED. I just lied on the application to start doing security. I doubt they suspect many people don't have one and probably didn't check it.

I also just wanted to say if it seems I'm arrogant or know it all I don't mean to be. I have put a lot of thought into this stuff but I always feel as if there has to be a way and somewhere there is an answer I must be missing. So if I seem confident in the way I reply don't take it as though I won't consider follow up considerations.

I believe I've used their website to get an estimate on how much I could get in food stamps which was $0-$25 when I used $1100/mo as earnings. Not that it's bad but because I don't have set hours or earnings do I have to notify them every month what my earnings were? It's typically between $800-$1100 but I'll sometimes have an odd month with lots of overtime at $1400 and sometimes only $600.

I guess I should just call them but for some reason I've always dreaded it. Specifically dealing with the automated phone systems and trying to find the right department while waiting on hold forever. It is something on my list of to do though. I'm mainly trying to compile a list of suggestions and ideas so I can take care of it all in a short time-span when it doesn't seem overwhelming.

I think one question that I didn't make apparent is that I really have no idea if I have aspergers. Would you agree with my idea that I could have the symptoms of aspergers from the social isolation alone?

I believe the majority of what is holding me back from a better job and better opportunities is not having friends or being able to interact with other people well.

Really I don't see how I'll ever get out of being homeless if I don't somehow get around the issues surrounding aspergers symptoms. Are there drugs that actually help? Or is therapy a treatment used? If it's simply the same symptoms but a different cause then I would imagine treatment may not be the same.

Do people ever get better from symptoms? It seems most of what I've read over the last year hasn't indicated that there is much change, not to the extent that I would hope to have.

I don't really blame my parents or the situation, it really doesn't even matter because it's all happened already. So where do I began to figure out what to do from here? If I knew there was some kind of effective treatment then I would be more willing to figure out a way to get a diagnosis or some starting point.

I have just assumed that posting this in the aspergers section would indicate I have many of the symptoms of aspergers but if your more curious in the extent or degree of symptoms I replied in this thread viewtopic.php?f=3&t=279091 to someone who is nearly identical to me in symptoms and experiences.

I mean I have gotten better. When I was 18 and first looking for a job I used to shake almost violently whenever I had to talk to someone. It lessened until about 4 years ago I stopped shaking entirely and now I just dread talking to people. It's that dread that really affects me the most I believe.

I have been homeless a number of times in my life and I know it can be very rough. Here are a few things I have used in the past or at least know about.

The Salvation Army in most larger towns has what they call 'transitional housing' (not their basic 'shelter') where, if you have a job, they allow you to stay in a room of theirs for 6 months. You are expected to save as much money as possible during that time as well as to take classes they or someone the are connected with will offer...GED, handling finances, etc. whatever you need. They also have emergency housing; I drifted into a town and gave them a call. They set me up with a hotel room w/a kitchen. The visited every few days to make sure I was looking for work. They let you stay until after you get a job and save a little money so you can afford your own place.

Food; a number of churches around larger towns have food banks. They will usually give you enough to last for 3 days. After that, you can go to the next church in the program. You never have to go hungry.

There are programs for pretty much anything if you just look. Gas cards, bus tokens, car repair vouchers, free medical clinics (which can really help), etc. I know Catholic Charities will pay utility bills. The main thing is you have to be working or on some kind of disability to receive many of these things and it is limited on how many times in a year you can use them.
Just a few ideas...hope it helps a bit.