feeling like everybody blames me for everything

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When something happens for example say i cleaned my room and there was rubbish bags left at the front door waiting you be put in the bin but the bins only fit like 3 or 4 bags and theres like 9 bags anyways back to whats im talking about basically because one fell and ripped im getting the blame for it i didn't rip it on purpose and spread it all over the floor, i hate it when somet happens in the family they all look at me for it i feel like i have the weight of everyone on me and i am struggling to put with it.

How am i supposed to keep my confidence up when people having a go at me knocks me down for eg say im about 30% confident soon as somebody rages at me it drops to a 1% i really hate that everybody expects me to do everything.

That's pretty close to the story of my life and can't say I ever got out of it. I don't want to condone you but offer another perspective, hopefully closer to that of your parents. Many people think that anger and blame are negative. But they are necessary. I think some people remember negative things more clearly.

If I were blamed for breaking a bag without intention I would remember that clearly the next time and be more careful. However, going overboard on blaming someone or making too big a deal out of it obviously isn't good.

A female dog will bite or nip her pups, inflicting pain on them to teach them if they were doing something she didn't like. Pain is negative and remembered. It's nature, a form of tough love. However there is quite the debate on humans using physical or emotional punishment on their children so even though it has existed in nature since the beginning of time practically, it may not mean there aren't better ways.

A better way may be the positive reinforcement usually talked about as alternatives to teaching. But I believe people are fundamentally different when it comes to who remembers positive or negative experiences the most.

If you believe their behavior is excessive then the best thing I can say is don't blame yourself like I did. It will catch up to you sooner or later if you do.

in one way you're right my life is ran by everything that happened in the past and the main problem is that im suffering with depression and atm i need positive i blame may self anyway have for 20 years i just hope ill service stage 4 of depressions. my family use me as a f**** slave they make me carry everything but as my mother clearly stated i was born to protect her not to be a f****** bag carrier all my life my granddad/ma both hate me because they believe im like my dad because he from what my family and mum told he that he wasn't a very nice man and because when i was younger i believed i was a prisoner in my own home so i played up a lot until i turned 16.

sometimes i just need a friend i dunno how with my family im sops to recover from depression but i dunno

I felt like that alot when I lived with my parents but I quit feeling like that after I moved in with my girlfriend. I still don't have much confidence sometimes but it's more than I used to & it's gradually getting better. Unfortunately there may not be much you can do about others blaming you except to avoid them when you can.

wish i could move in with somebody i call GF or BF im single have been for some time its one of the main issuss of why im depressed

I was pretty depressed when I was single too. Older members probably remember my many depressed post in L&D. Dwelling on your depression likely won't help you find someone thou the desperate approach did work for me. Try focusing on little things you can do to improve things like maybe try being more helpful around the house if you can think of things you can do or ask if you cant & if your family sees you trying they may not be as upset with you. Part of the reason my parents were so upset with me was because they saw me as lazy & not trying.

but the hard thing is doing one thig switches another off so say i started doing things round the houseit would turn off for eg taking a bath its stupid but doing somet else dissables my remembering proccesser

Re: feeling like everybody blames me for everything

I think that has been part of the experience of the vast majority of people on the Autism Spectrum - at least to an extent.

I can only say that it seems to improve age. It happens a lot less now than it did when I was younger.

hmm thanks i guess