Am I autistic???? your thoughts please

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Hello everyone.

As the title suggests, I think I might be on the autism spectrum.

I have a lot of information, so I am going to give you almost an "outline" of my story, and you can ask any questions you need to if you want more information.

That I have certain traits commonly associated with autism is beyond dispute. The question is whether it's enough to classify me as "autistic" or whether there is some other reason for my symptoms. It's worth noting that even though I am an atheist now I was raised fundamentalist xtian. That was extremely traumatic for me in many ways. So that's the main reason I'm wondering whether I am truly autistic or whether things like the very literalist view of the bible, being raised in isolation from many of my peers, and the constant threats of terrible things happening to me might have warped my mind.

Autistic traits that I DO possess:
-anxiety in social situations
-tendency to escape through fixations, obsessions, fantasy and imagination.
-tendency to make friends with older or younger people.
-I have maybe 4-5 subjects that I am REALLY REALLY interested in, and want to know everything about, and if I cannot pursue these studies I get annoyed. I never have meltdowns, but I DO whine/complain and act passive-aggressive a lot if I don't get my way.
-indifference to social norms.
-I am kind of obsessed with numeric patterns...in particular I'm obsessed with the number 1.618 and with square roots.
-I can be very opinionated.
-irritable bowel as a kid (but not anymore)
-I like animals more than people.
-I hold a lot of feelings inside and avoid self-disclosure
-I feel like I am forcing myself to appear "normal"
-I dislike eye contact
-eager and overzealous at times
-I'm very solitary. Most people annoy me.
-impulsive
-messy and disorganized
-lack of social skills
-I sometimes get so fixated on details that I miss the whole
-I HATE SMALL TALK
-tendency to over-share details (note: I actually *do* know it's wrong, but I'm a thrill seeker at times and like to do unsafe things just for the rush, or to see peoples' confused reactions)
-hypocondriac - I'm terrified of getting cancer or MS
-unusual fears, most notably women and racial minorities
-food-conscious - I hate artificial ingredients
-emotional swings - nice one minute, naughty the next
-I had a lot of imaginary friends as a kid
-I am more logical than social. In classes like language, computer science, neuroscience, etc I am either the best or one of the best. But in classes like english and social studies...I'm not very good. Like when I read poetry, people are so emotional about mundane everyday things and I don't know why.
-I have a fiery temper.
-I like museums more than theaters, and documentaries more than cartoons.
-I have facial and motor tics (but not "stimming" behaviors)
-I prefer to *actually learn* in class/at work rather than socialize.

Common Autistic traits that I DON'T possess
-difficulty understanding figurative language. I have always loved to write and I have copies of works from when I was 10 years old, all of which demonstrate a clear grasp of figurative language.
-I have no difficulty with hand gestures
-I don't think I really have any difficulty communicating. I'm not a top-quality speaker, but I will always let you know if I am angry, tired, hungry, etc.
-physically weak/clumsy. I have always been extremely dexterous, often to the amazement of my teachers and coaches. I've had a black belt in karate, and everyone in my school is afraid of me. I can deadlift over 300 pounds, knock somebody out in a single shot, and my "signature move" is my ability to squat butt-to-ground on one leg without holding anything. Bodybuilders and experienced athletes have approached me and said that could not even do ONE, whereas I have done 30 on each leg before. (in the special forces, you are considered to be in excellent shape if you can do just 20).
-I have been in situations where I literally thought I was going to die, and even then I have NEVER felt the urge to flap my hands, rock my body, or any other "stimming" behaviors.
-I have never had any issues with "unusual prosody."
-I do not have issues with "tactile sensitivity." - I have been punched and kicked hard before in karate. It wasn't painless, but usually I was fine a few seconds later. Also, I have been in theaters and on planes many times, and also played very loud music that pissed off my neighbors, and I was fine. It did not bother me in the least!
-I have a normal voice
-I was actually reading, speaking, and walking early.

Traits that MIGHT be autistic, but I'm not sure
I can detect emotions in facial expression with relative ease. For example, one test I took had 36 questions. most people score 20-29 and 30+ is considered a good score. I scored 31 or 32. I never had to be taught this - I learned this myself without any help from "professionals." Also, I find it easy to tell if somebody is lying to me.

While I can recognize emotions in others, that does NOT mean that I myself feel them. For example, I can watch a movie about the life of Jesus, and I can easily see that my mom is taking it very seriously. But I myself am unaffected, because I see no reason to believe that Christianity is true. And if you told me to *pretend* I was sad, I would find that difficult.

That is exactly how my life is. I can easily recognize emotions in others, but because I myself do not experience them the same way, I would find it difficult to "fake" them.

Another example - at work some time ago, I had two girls that seemed to like me. I could tell that one was serious and the other was being manipulative - my suspicions were confirmed when she was later fired. But I didn't love either of them back. I didn't really care - there was work to be done, and that seemed logically more important. And even if I wanted to reciprocate their affection, I would find that difficult, because I would be faking an emotion that I rarely experience.

So that's all

what do you all think?

I think that only an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional can make an official diagnosis of an ASD, only after making a carefully objective examination of your psyche and observing your behavior in person, and over several counseling sessions as well. Online tests can not provide an objective ASD diagnosis, either.

We're not psychiatrists here. Not one of us can give you a valid diagnosis, especially one that's based solely on your own subjective perception of your symptoms and behavior.

Your best bet is to consult a proper professional, in person.

Good luck.

Yes what Fnord said. But if you're not interested in getting an "official" diagnosis, then you get to decide for yourself. That's what I did and I feel valid.

Doesn't sound like it but do what Harrison Fnord said

Interesting. You do seem to have some traits that those with ASD would have. But the list of traits you don't have and the nature of those traits seems to suggest not.

IMO reading emotions and intentions and then responding appropriately is a big thing and you don't claim any issue with that. Over sharing and saying inappropriate things by choice is just attention seeking, aspies don't do it on purpose it just happens. Acting passive aggressive if you don't get your own way is a choice you are making consciously.

It sounds more like you are highly introverted and socially anxious, but you can interact socially fine if you choose to.

Ultimately only way to find out is to get assessed by an expert. But from what you have written it seems to me like you are looking for an excuse for some of your more unpleasant characteristics and behaviours, rather than an answer to your problems.

Yes. What he said (He? If not, I meant no insult).

That being said, if you want to self-diagnose, you should take a look at the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-V and the ICD-10. You can find both online in full from many sources.

A lot of what you are describing are traits that many neurotypical people also display. Find out about your behavior as a small child (2-4), as that can be very revealing. Also, try to be as objective as possible. Don't look for reasons why you SHOULD have autism. It's like reading a horoscope; if you read what is SUPPOSED to happen, you will look for ways to make your regular day fit that when it really doesn't fit. As much as possible, keep yourself from doing this.

One main indication may be whether you have any sensory issues. Read up on those, here or from other sources. Sensory issues are VERY prevalent in autism (but vary widely), so if you don't have them, chances are much lower that you are autistic. Everyone has sensations they don't like; what you want to look for are normal sensations that you can't handle. Maybe you can't stand the feel of silk (not just don't like it, but really really cannot tolerate it) or you love the feeling of faux fur. It might be sights, sounds, touch sensations, smells, tastes. Sounds are quite common, as are aversions to food textures. For me, I hate the cold but I'm very insensitive to heat. Sounds bother me, especially repetitious ticking or beeping. I don't like most loud sounds, but something beeping even quietly will drive me into a meltdown or a rage, as will blinking lights if I can't shut them off. Just thinking about it right now has raised my heart rate, made my skin crawl and set my teeth on edge. I'm tense and upset just at the thought of it. For normal people, a blinking light or beeping noise is merely annoying; for me, it is something I cannot tolerate and which would be torture to be forced to endure for more than a few seconds.

Welcome to Wrong Planet, Emory!

'Tis the season for self diagnoses, it seems. You aren't the first.

Your completion of a screening test and a detailed list of characteristics is a great first step and shows a lot of research, testing and self awareness on your part. Despite what others have stated about professional-only diagnoses, self-awareness work is beneficial to you and any future diagnosticians with whom you might choose to work. Those who fixate on professional-only diagnoses appear to suggest that whatever research and testing you do for yourself now is irrelevant in the future. I say "hokum." Many professional diagnosticians appreciate the work that their clients do for themselves because the more evidence you share with them, the more accurate they can be. It helps them confirm or deny their work and bring you closer to an accurate diagnosis. Not every individual with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has every common characteristic. It isn't about collecting all the characteristics, but how those characteristics that you do have affect you and your life.

Getting a professional diagnosis presumes that you need one beyond the self-awareness that you have already. This need is usually based on your ability to receive governmental, corporate or personal benefit (like public assistance, educational assistance, workplace supports or just a desire to be certain in your knowledge). If these benefits aren't important to you right now, there might not be a need to pursue a professional diagnosis right now. You can always get one later. Meanwhile, explore yourself and learn as much about ASD as you wish. This is what I did over a year ago and I have collected a mountain of evidence to support my awareness. You might want to visit the University of Cambridge web-site link below my signature for more ideas.

By the way, the owner of Wrong Planet (Alex) welcomes people who are affected by various ASD characteristics whether they are diagnosed or self-aware. There are a lot of us self-aware Aspies here.

Are you taking any supplements?

http://dujs.dartmouth.edu/news/the-beha ... SfTVT_Zkn4
Steroids are known to cause some of the things you mention.

I don't particularly see "autism" in you.

You might have some autistic traits.

This Site has some great people--some autistic, some not.

Diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder requires deficits in two specific areas: social interaction and communication, and restricted and repetitive behaviours.

Given that you don't have difficulty communicating, using appropriate prosody, hand gestures, etc., don't have trouble identifying figures of speech/non-literal language, hate small-talk but don't identify as being unable to do it, make no mention of ever having felt or been ostracized or extremely confused by other people, or of trouble making friends, don't stim or have sensory sensitivities, and make no mention of any difficulty adjusting to changes in routine/schedule, etc., I would be inclined to say that you do not have autism. You are likely highly introverted, and may possibly meet criteria for a social anxiety disorder (but I would need more information to get a better impression), but I do not believe you to be autistic. However, as others here have said, the only way to know for certain is to get a diagnosis from a professional.

I was Immediately diagnosed autistic when I didn't speak a single word from birth until I was 5 years old. ..basically I wen from silent for 4 maybe 5 years depending how it was counted to just one day speaking sentences and statements. from that alone is when I was officially diagnosed as autistic, but I cant recall later on when I like to say was 7 or 8 years old that I was officially diagnosed as an aspie with autistic behavior..basically a rare combination which I recall having to go to do many speech and math tests or therapy..basically I was either being studied upon on they were still trying to diagnose me I really don't know.

I'm kind of in the same boat, Wrenton.

I didn't speak until age 5 1/2. I spoke like a "normal" child almost immediately. I presented as Aspergian then; I still present as Aspergian to this day.

Having Asperger's really shouldn't hold many people back from accomplishing things.

Things that are interesting to the person a definitive yes..as for other things that are not interested or losing interest in, well that one is a whole different matter depending the diagnosis. For me I still have traces of autistic behavior along with my aspie behavior which then hits people like a truck when they finally see and understand my condition. even at 26 people still get surprised when they finally see it.

Over the years, I have acquired a "court jester" persona. This keeps me from having to socialize; the BURDEN to socialize is less--because people respect me, laugh with me, are pleasant with me, yet keep a certain distance.

On my job, I've made myself indispensable. I've had some troubles because of my autistic-type traits--but they would never think of firing me. I've been on my job 35 years, looking forward to a pension in about 7 1/2 years. Many people with autistic traits are civil servants. You'll find at least a few on this Site.

I think that is the way to go: use your "oddness" to your advantage, rather than comparing yourself to "normal" people. You will "fall short" in some ways--yet you will be "superior" in other ways.

Though of course Fnord is, as always, correct in saying that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis & then only after a significant amount of interaction, background, and observation, I'd have to agree with kraftiekortie that you're probably not autistic.

To me, the most important thing is that you've failed to define any issues as causing you significant problems functioning in your daily life.
Even a person with a full set of 'autistic' seeming traits can't be clinically diagnosed as ASD if those traits don't cause them any significant impairment in their daily functioning.

Generally speaking, only issues which cause significant, ongoing issues in a person's functionality are considered clinically significant enough to warrant a diagnosis of an actual disorder.

For instance, you seems to have some traits consistent with obsessive-compulsive disorder, and some traits consistent with bipolar disorder, and some traits consistent with a narcissistic personality disorder of some sort.
However, you haven't indicated that any of these traits, or sets of traits, is severe enough that it causes you actual problems in your life on a regular, ongoing basis, so it doesn't seem like you'd be clinically diagnosed with any of these.

As for autism specifically: you lack communication difficulties, sensory difficulties, repetitive behaviors, and stims, and you seem to have an intuitive grasp of social situations & intentions as evidenced by your final little anecdote, which together would seem to completely rule out autism as even a possible diagnosis.

It sounds like you're introverted, mildly obsessive (though not compulsive), a bit narcissistic & self-centered, and somewhat emotionally closed-off, but you don't seem to lack empathy & emotions completely (you experience empathy & warm feelings, just 'rarely' by your own estimation), so you're not a sociopath.
I think you're quirky, but that none of that quirkiness really rises to the level of a clinical neurological disorder, even if you might find some significant benefit to talk therapy to work through some of your psychological issues & help connect more to other people, if those are things you're interested in doing.

I'm not a trained psychologist or psychiatrist, though, so that's all just my opinion for whatever it's worth.

Welcome to WP!

I'm 36, and I have friends who have know I'm autistic for aver 15 years who still act surprised when my autistic responses & behaviors become problematic & to some extent still refuse to accept some of my limitations.

Being a high-functioning ASD/Aspie means people constantly forgetting/ignoring/not understanding/not believing that one is in fact autistic no matter how normal one's behavior & reactions may seem much of the time.

It's an invisible disorder, and as such will almost always shock & surprise people when they actually see how bad it really is at times, even if they're aware of it.