My grandmother thinks I'm an embarrassment and faking

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I have this problem when I shake my legs and sometimes my arms and I don't know what it is but my grandmother thinks that I'm faking also I like to take Justin my autism teddy bear out with me all the time and sometimes dolls and when things get too loud I like to take out headphones that are actually earmuffs. I want to take Justin and my headphones everywhere with me but it bothers is my grandmother. She also thinks I'm trying to act "sick". When I don't know what's really going on.

the school interview is coming up and my family does not want me to take Justin with me but for some reason I really want to but I don't think I'm going to I don't know.

I was also in a special-needs PTA meeting today where I took Justin and my head phones and used them and my legs were shaking like crazy my arms were too a little. At my grandmothers said I was acting and almost embarrassed me luckily no one noticed.

Have you ever exaggerated your symptoms? Or Have your symptoms ever been exaggerated without your control?

The shaking sounds like a stim to release stress. A special needs PTA meeting is a stressful situation. You are going to be changing schools. This is a major change in your life. Change is often quite stressful for Autistic people.

Some symptoms I can control well. But when tired or stressed I lose ability to control them

Have you told your grandma how you feel when she says that, or is she imposable to deal with?

Sorry if this post turns out to be long.

I agree with other posters that the shaking is probably stimming. Is it like the way that other people 'bounce' their leg up and down when they're nervous? If so, I do the same thing, especially in times of stress or increased anxiety, which it sounds like you are definitely experiencing. Stimming is something you need to do to relieve stress; if you can't do it, you might have a meltdown which will be much more embarrassing for your grandmother.

The headphones and the bear are hiding mechanisms. I understand it, I have a bear (it's a dog, actually) that brings me comfort and that I would carry around everywhere if I could. Autistic people commonly use things like headphones and sunglasses to help shield them from sensory input that is often too loud and too bright. It's perfectly understandable, and is often necessary. The bear is more complicated. It isn't really appropriate for someone of high school age to take a bear with them everywhere. Can you keep it on your bed and take comfort knowing it's there? (That's what I do with my dog. I only take him out when I really, really need him and when I can be alone..) Or can you get a keychain that looks like your bear that you can carry around instead? Something small that won't be noticed?

It sounds to me like your grandmother is being a little bit selfish. Her insistence that you are faking is her way of being in denial. She doesn't want to believe that you have a real problem. She's also probably embarrassed by it because other people can see it. She's worried about what other people think, which is something she's eventually just going to have to get over. I think that you might have to just tolerate her behavior for now. Don't try to convince her, you won't be able to. She needs to be ready to see the truth on her own. Right now, she can't face it, which is why she keeps denying that it is real. I know it's hurtful to you for her to say you're faking, but if you can, hold out for a little while. It'll probably be a few years before she starts to come around.

I agree with Jimmyboy, and I would add that maybe the grandmother doesn't understand why this is happening. It might be no harm to tell her politely that you are trying your best and ask her to be patient with you. That way, she might be more accomodating.

Granny needs to read some Tony Attwood and shut her pie hole. People who don't know a thing about autism shouldn't be commenting on it, much less judging people whose brains were born different from theirs.

Fair point will@rd, even if I would be more subtle when trying to convince the grandmother. Coming across as aggressive might only reinforce her stereotypes and embolden her further, which the OP mightn't necessarily want.

My uncle thinks the same way. In fact, when I was in the hospital during most of Spring Break, he told the nurses who were overseeing my stay that I was pretending to be autistic and didn't need to stay in the hospital. After hearing him say that, I just wanted to punch him in the face and/or kick him in his lower extremities.

As for your grandmother, Willard is very much right. Try giving your grandmother any works by Tony Attwood and tell her to shut the f**k up.

You cannot make someone see something they don't want to see, no matter hard you try.

Is better to use the subtle approach than the aggressive approach.

Educate people--who don't know about autism--about autism. Most of the time, they can't help their lack of knowledge.

I have found that to be true, some people are just willfully ignorant.

However, one must continue educating people in a Socratic manner. Aggressive "educating" inevitably leads to a dead end. I don't like it when somebody aggressively pitches an idea to me.