How do you guys cope with it when you get overwhelmed?

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sunnycat
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21 Mar 2007, 6:25 pm

I'm so out of sorts these days...that I keep missing appointments...I just cannot remember them...
None of my job things worked out, and it seems my next step is grad school which scares the s**t out of me. and will I ever be able to have a decent career? I do wish to make a living.
I feel nervous and incapable...I keep staying up all night and sleeping during the day, missing all my classes...
And I have to move out of my apartment, find a new caretaker for my beloved cats, because in my next location I won't be allowed to have pets...
The idea of packing overwhelms me...the idea of moving sale and putting up flyers for cat adoption overwhelms me...
What I can see is that living is never easy for anybody...
I can't take solace in the thought of suicide because now I'm sure that that is not an option for me anymore...
I want to live, but I feel like a million butterflies are fluttering in my guts...

How do you guys cope?
Everybody here who has a job, who goes out during the day and sleeps at night are doing much better than I am.. I admire you guys...



krex
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21 Mar 2007, 7:32 pm

I have always been nocturnal and took classes in college that were evening,weekend and afternoon.Thats the only way I could make it.I study late at night.

I found out 12 years ago that there were many jobs for overnight workers and have been doing that for the past 14 years.I try and make any medical appointments,after I get off my over night shifts,around 9am.I have had to make some sacrifices to live with being a night person(there are jobs I cant do because they are only days),but there are many advantages to it.

Overnights are difficult positions to fill and many of the people who apply are weirder then me,so they put up with my "oddities",it is quiter,no other people to have to deal with,stores are less crowded when I go after work in the early mornings.

Sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed.Even someone with out AS would feel overwhelmed with so many different things to have to get organized(something I dont excel in).You can try and write out a list breaking down each "goal" into timey little steps.If you have anyone in your life that is good at organizing,now would be a good time to ask for help in making boxes of what to sell ad what to pack for moving.Dont wait....it takes far longer then you can imagine.(everytime I packed to move I would end up sending hours rereading my journals,looking through books I had forgotten about,had to retry on cloths)Anything you can mark off as "nonessential...ie...is it better to seel or donate items to nearest thriftstore?)Have you tried Criags List for advertising for a home for your cats?I have also seen flyers up at grocery stores.(sorry you cant keep the cats...that is very depressing)

I would personally feel less stressed going to Grad school then working a job.But it has it's own complications..like money,paperwork filling out,yuck.


Good luck.....One step at a time.Prioritise as best you can(something else I am lousy at)


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kosgrove
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21 Mar 2007, 8:40 pm

I find it really helpful to write down lists of things when I've got too much in my head. Then I figure out what I can do something about in the short term, because I find that doing ANYTHING, even if it's just a teensy tiny baby step, towards solving my problems feels infinitely better than doing nothing.

Here's some stuff that works for me. I hope it works for you:
What are all the things that are causing you anxiety right now? Make a list and "pick the low-hanging fruit", that is, find something that you can take care of easily, like a plan for the cats.

What's the first step in finding a new caretaker? How about posting to Craig's List? How about placing an ad in your school's newspaper? Many places have cat societies that will take your animals (and take care of them indefinitely) if you can't find an owner on your own.

Try to prioritize the things that are bothering you. Maybe you'll find that worry #10 isn't really that important.

Also, for the short term, you may want to consider medication for your anxiety if you have the means. If not, try to force yourself to do some exercise - walk at least 2 miles per day and some simple meditation to manage your stress. Find yourself a comfortable position - laying down, sitting upright, whatever, close your eyes, place your hands somewhere comfortable, and breathe deeply and slowly. When you breathe, your stomach should be doing the most moving, not your chest. Focus only on your breathing. It might help. Maybe even a lot.

Let me know if I can be of any more help and keep me posted on how it's working out for you.

Hang in there, brother. You'll pull through.



sunnycat
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21 Mar 2007, 8:48 pm

kosgrove wrote:
Hang in there, brother. You'll pull through.


Thank you so much krex/kosgrove...your advices were extremely helpful...
*sends deepest gratitude*
I'll try to follow them...
and by the way I'm a girl... :)



kosgrove
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21 Mar 2007, 8:57 pm

Here's another rationalization tool I really like:

Think about the specific stuff that's upsetting you right now. Is is something that will bother you in a week? A month? A year? The rest of your life?

I'm pretty sure that at least one of those is "no". That means it's not THAT big of a deal. That means that it's a relatively common problem that both NTs and Aspies have dealt with. It's a problem with a solution, and I'd bet dollars to donuts that you're a born problem-solver. We aspies may not particularly like dealing with this kind of stuff, but we can, and it makes it all the more sweeter when we do.

You CAN do it.

Sister. :D



Xuincherguixe
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22 Mar 2007, 1:50 am

Fortunately, I've had enough breaks in horrible things that happen that I've built up a fair amount of resistance. So it doesn't get to me as much.

But I still don't exactly handle things well. Just they don't bother me as much.


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Starr
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22 Mar 2007, 11:52 am

I try not to beat myself up because I'm not coping. Some days good, some days not so good.
I do write lots of lists of everything I want to do, because my memory is so bad, and I put what I definitely HAVE to do that day at the top. Sometimes I even do them :wink:



krex
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22 Mar 2007, 7:33 pm

Starr wrote:
I try not to beat myself up because I'm not coping. Some days good, some days not so good.
I do write lots of lists of everything I want to do, because my memory is so bad, and I put what I definitely HAVE to do that day at the top. Sometimes I even do them :wink:


Dont you have problems with losing the lists?I dont know how many little notebooks I have started to keep track of things,then camt find them when I need to write down something.....argggg.


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Claradoon
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22 Mar 2007, 7:38 pm

krex wrote:
Starr wrote:
I try not to beat myself up because I'm not coping. Some days good, some days not so good.
I do write lots of lists of everything I want to do, because my memory is so bad, and I put what I definitely HAVE to do that day at the top. Sometimes I even do them :wink:


Dont you have problems with losing the lists?I dont know how many little notebooks I have started to keep track of things,then camt find them when I need to write down something.....argggg.


I like this software for lists - and finally there's a list where I'll see it, on my desktop. It's a free download trial - that might be useful?

http://www.lexasoftware.com/



Santa_Claus
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22 Mar 2007, 7:44 pm

If I wasnt so afraid of an afterlife, I would have commited suicide a long time ago.