Nyeh...

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As most you all know, Anubis and I are going out with each other online. But recently, one of my friends has been talking to me about something that I don't like... He likes me. And I mean LIKES me. I told him I've got Anubis and all, but he just doesn't give up. He said that if anything happens between me and Anubis happens[and nothing will happen!] he'll have me. He even said he regrets not getting to me before Anubis. I like this guy as a friend, but no more. Is there some way I can tell him I'm not interested without hurting his feelings?

tell him you dont find him attractive, or perticularly the type of guy you want to date and or marry... tell him he is just a friend....

ok it will upset him a bit, but you are letting him down easy... trust me

When he's online next, I'll tell him that.

tell me hoe it works out

Red,

Grrr Wish you luck with telling him that. It seems we Aspie women and girls have this effect. I go through it all the time and I'm married for pity's sake and have been for over 25 years! I tell them exactly what Aspie told you to tell them and for some reason they just won't go away. I think it's that we can't read their signals and they probably misread our signals. My husband swears this is what it is anyway. Unfortunately, it's usually other people who end up taking care of it for me. I try, but I'm not effective at telling them to buzz off!

Zanne

This isn't the first guy who has done this. There was another one who's a member here, but I told them I'm taken. Damn guys don't bloody understand when you're taken!!

I can totally believe that. Back in the Neolithic period, when I was 22 or 23, this NT woman I was hanging out with, and had a raging crush on, absolutely hit on me one evening. But she was pretty extreme when it came to subtleties, and I was the totally honest and open sort, so it went right past me. I didn't even recognize it for what it was until much later, by which time we were no longer on speaking terms.

I can easily imagine an aspie getting signals crossed in the opposite way, making an NT think that they're interested when they're not. I wouldn't have guessed that such a scenario would often happen between aspies, but you never know.

ive always accepted it.... there is noting more unappealing to me than a women who is already with a guy... i hate divorce, affairs and cheating, it screwed up my childhood in a BIG way (Step Parents can be Cruel)...

Babe, don't you know the taken girls are the most attractive?

Simple biological reason... single girl = if she ain't good enough for someone else, she ain't good enough for me. Taken girl = she's good enough to be taken...I wanna see what's so good myself!

I had this issue...all my life I've been single up until recently. No guy was interested. Got the car you see in my avatar (yes, that exact one), joined a car club, still no takers...until one random guy took a shine to me because of the car and personality (we're so similar)...now I get hit on all the time -____- And in the car community guys are VERY horny and dodgy. It's hilarious...my man hates it. XD

All you need to do is just tell the guys...sorry, I'm in love with such-and-such. If they don't get it...here's a way that ALWAYS seems to scare them off... talk about your fantasies with your man (Anubis in this case). In my case, I managed to get two guys to back off some by recounting some...uh...favours I'd given my guy 'EWW I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH THERE!' is usually the response, along with a certain thing going 'flop' moments later. If they don't get the hint then, usually talking about someone else's anatomy is the best killer. Guys DO NOT WANT TO KNOW about who's stuffing something into the girl of their dreams! (or the girl fantasising about it, for that matter, if distance is the killer there)

LOL! That is a good idea Shale!!

i dont understand guys who want to get with women who are already attached....

i mean if i was with somone i wouldnt want some jerk coming along and try to split us up... i would have to seriously resist the urge not to 'deal' with him.

so therefore i refuse to do that to another person... if i find out somone is dating somone else i back off... its called being honourable, doing to others what you would want doing to youself... i dont care HOW desperate i may be and HOW easy it would be...

Some of us only meet women through their boyfriends.

Thanks for that advice everyone. He's not talking about it as much now.

doesnt make it right.... i'd rather be single than betray someones trust

I'm so glad he didn't talk about it today!

Me too. If I love the person. I didn't say that it was some sort of ugly scene. Often, it was perfectly reaosonable. The relationship wasn't going where either person wanted it.