How do you deal with routine?

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I plan EVERYTHING! I know from when I get up what the days plan is by asking mom dad etc. and go about it and so forth. My "plan" was to schedule an appointment to go to the DMV but now found out I have to go sit there for X amount of time. Not sure how long. I was sort of in tears. In my parents eyes "I'm nearly 30 and things don't always go my way grow up." But usually I work around ME how I WANT things to go. I know days in advance if a gathering is happening (such as going out for dinner this past Sat.) Or usually when/who/how my nephew is being picked up from school since his mom works/goes to law school. PLAN EVERYTHING! So EVERYTHING IS KNOWN AND PLANNED TO THE WIRE!

It drives my family nuts But I like PLAN ROUTINE PRECISE ONLY ONE WAY! A change up or something and I'm a wreck. Worried not sure how long this DMV appointment will go plus I have to redo the eye exam to redo my permit. Not sure how that will go either. Stressed of sorts.

Anyone relate? I feel I HAVE TO HAVE A PLAN HAVE TO HAVE A ROUTINE! ALWAYS!

I don't like other people doing things that change my schedule arbitrarily. I like to know in advance where I'll be and what I'll be doing so I'm better prepared. I'm not as rigid about it as I once was, but it still torques me when other people mess with my personal time and space. Now if I decide to change my routine, I don't have a problem with that. I just hate having changes imposed on me.

For me....

Every hour from 8 am to 8 pm has a subject of which I obligate myself 5 minutes to. So there's 55 minutes of flexibility per hour built into my planning system. People still think my planning and routines are stiff. I can't win.

Yes, this is me. I don't react quite as badly to the unexpected as I did when I was younger but I have my days planned almost down to the minute.

I fail routinely at routine. Badly. I utterly fail at making myself do things I don't want to do. At the same time, changes to whatever routine that I have that I don't follow, like having someone come over for a visit, is just like 'nope!' It didn't used to be like this for me.

It's usually during my anime convention that I have to plan everything ahead of time. If not, then I will end up having more meltdowns than I need. The reason for planning everything before hand and knowing which panels to go to is because I have to be able to arrive a half an hour to an hour early to get the front row. If I have to sit in back rows, it can block my visual perception, making it hard for me to process what I'm seeing and hearing. The damn manager of the convention does nothing to accommodate any of this, even with a doctor's note explaining it. I already know he's going against the ADA, so try telling HIM that. >____>

As for other routines, I usually don't worry much about it. The only time I really have certain routines is one in the morning. I have to take my pills in a certain order. Another one I have is at night. I have to do several things before bedtime to actually prepare for sleep. Otherwise, I'll be overwhelmed by anxiety if something is missing. Other than that, I don't really have many routines I have to follow constantly.

Hi Zelda,

For the lines at the DMV, I would bring a book or a tablet to read.

Usually, these days, one takes a number, then sits on a chair for a while. It's actually not as bad as it used to be.

Are you going for your Permit?

I don't plan everything but I do like routine & like to know ahead of time for things like leaving the house but I can handle spontaneous outings too if I'm not in the middle of something.

When you have to do something like the DMV or going to the bank or post office, always expect a wait and pick a day to do it and pick a time you want to go and bring something alone you like to do such as a video game or a ipad or cell phone or a book to read or a puzzle book. If you don't want a long wait, go before it opens and be there right when it opens so that way you won't have to wait because during the day it gets packed.

i plan almost everything, even what to say before entering a shop or something

What's a DMV? Sorry but I keep seeing this crop up and everyone here seems to know so they could probably explain it better than google heh. ^^'

It must be a USA thing, it's where people go to get their license plates registration, IDs, driver's licenses, to take a driving test or written, and where you renew them. I am not sure what the letters stand for. Department moving vehicles?

I am most comfortable if I stay in a routine. I can deal with change if I have to, but I would rather stay in my routine. I do not like change, which is not good. We live in a world were the only thing that is for sure, is that everything is going to change.

DMV= Department of Motor Vehicles.

I don't see planning and routine as the same thing, though I see that a routine would generally be dependent on some kind of plan, usually in the mind, and in my case often unconsciously created and carried out.

Routines are very helpful to me because I don't need to think - if a task isn't part of my routine, I have to think it through, which is sometimes easy and sometimes pretty difficult. I plan most non-routine tasks and projects very carefully to avoid making mistakes, and if a project is complex, the planning can be very hard for my brain. I'm aware of the waste of time and the boredom of it all, and often worry about and question my thoroughness, always trying to break out of the overpreparation trap, but with only limited success. Routines can bore me and I sometimes find myself changing them just for fun. It may seem odd for an Aspie to rebel against repetition like that, but the changes are usually fairly minor and I'm starting from a very low-stress position, and it's me who chooses if, when and how I make changes, so it tends to be a positive experience. The other thing about routines is that they're often about rather mundane activities, so my brain is likely to be more free to wander onto something more interesting while the menial crap is processed on auto-pilot. I have poor tolerance for boredom, though it doesn't always look that way from the outside, because I might be quietly entertaining myself in my own head while doing boring things.

OH! Thank you I was being really dense there.. then again other than actually driving the car I have no idea how to renew insurance or anything like that so it probably goes waaay over my head. Thanks for clearing it up!

Unless you live in Ohio, then it's the BMV- Bureau of Motor Vehicles. Same concept except even the very name reminds you that it's a bureaucracy.